I have been dating my bf for 7 months.
Pretty early in the relationship, bf started using my phone, for playing music saying I have better playlists, now he uses it for all sorts of entertainment. I did not mind it. I don’t have anything significant on my phone. I have never tried using his phone, because I didn’t feel the need to.
Recently we have started to get into a lot of fights and most of them stem from what’s on my phone.
I have dated around a few times before meeting my bf so I have a lot of chats from previous flings… I have never looked back on them or deleted them. I have not been in touch with any of them since before meeting bf. We got into an argument over how many men are in my instagram DMs as well. I don’t reply to dms from strangers. But bf thinks it’s an issue that so many men find me approachable. He also has an issue with my guy friends complimenting my IG stories. I have lots of guy friends, who are mostly committed and my IG stories are usually pictures of birds, sunsets or scenic views, I don’t post myself alot.
He has also found pictures of my previous relationship on a folder in google backup. I had deleted my past from my phone, I was not aware of a google backup. I deleted the backup photos as well after bf showed them to me. We later got into an argument over it and he thinks I wouldn’t have deleted them if I had nothing to hide.
The other day he asked if I remember the first time we ever slept together, I don’t remember the exact date. He picked up my phone, opened my flo app and scrolled back to 2019 where I had logged in one sexual activity and he keeps insisting it to be some special date from a previous relationship. I honestly don’t remember even logging in that date.
Today morning I got a email of someone trying to log into my Instagram account, I saw the details and realised it was my bf’s old phone. I called to ask him about it and he keeps denying ever doing that. Thinks I am insane to even suggesting something on those lines.
I am honestly tired of defending myself. Idk when he will discover something new from my past and start an argument.
I am always on the edge nowadays, worried about what new this guy will discover on my phone. He starts crying and apologising when I talk about breaking up. But keeps getting into these arguments. I think he secretly despise me?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This is insanely controlling behaviour and it’s only 7 months in? Girl run.
>He starts crying and apologising when I talk about breaking up
This is just manipulation.
he doesn’t hate you, he has retroactive jealousy and is controlling. i’d chalk it up to him being young and immature mixed with some insecurity, but truthfully speaking, he’s far too old to still be acting this way. personally, having been in your situation, i’d leave because this type of behavior rarely improves. even if it does improve, you’re still going to be constantly paranoid.
The man is insecure and hasn’t taken the time to heal from whoever/whatever hurt him…and now YOU are the one suffering.
He will be unsatisfied no matter how much commitment/loyalty you display. Sadly your best option is to leave.
I went through it for 3 years. I was naive, and it destroyed me. Took me a looong time to heal.
Sis c’mon now. He’s just your standard abuser. What is your relationship question?
This guy has issues! How exhausting to deal with someone with this level of insecurities issues, and he is controlling. He needs time to heal from whatever he has been through. I would break up with him.
Girl RUN
he’s controlling and insecure and frankly no one wants to date a boy.
Do yourself a favor and go find a real man that respects you and himself.