I have a 6 year old daughter I had with my girlfriend when we both had just graduated high school. She was my soulmate and I miss her so much everyday; it hurts every time I think about her. She passed away right when we had our daughter basically and she left me and our daughter.
I struggled so much on my own that sometimes I felt like giving up myself if I am being honest. I have gotten attention from women here and there, but I have always ignored the dating scene to stay loyal to my now gone girlfriend. I feel like if I am betraying her by even soeaking to other women.
A mutual friend from my friend group has been trying to get close to me for the past year. She’s a nice woman and knows my situation. We talk a lot now, but I used to push her (and any other woman) away, but she worked herself into my life.
We went on a couple ‘dates’ together and I admit I like her. We did hook up at one point, but after she left all the emotions thinking about my baby’s mom hit me and I made myself feel even worse. How would she react if she knew I did this? I’ve talked about my feelings with this woman, and she told me she understands and that she is not mad that I still keep in consideration my baby’s mother.
She is a genuinely nice woman and when my beat friend and I went to bring my baby’s mkm some flowers and gift for her birthday, she showed up with some flowers too and sat there with us. I feel so lonely nowadays and I feel like I need some intimacy too, but at the same time I feel like this is a huge betrayal. How do I get myself back into dating without feeling this way?
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You ll be fine. Some of us are one and done people. You are not one.
You’re not cheating, you’re moving on with living.
You need to be a healthy person.
Your daughter needs a healthy father.
Your past love would want you to be healthy with living after her passing.
Did you seek therapy as if you didn’t you could benefit from it.
You’re not abandoning your passed girlfriend, she would not hold anything against you. She’d want her daughter to have a happy father who can laugh, smile, bring joy to the home. She’d want you to shower your home with so many happy memories to give the best childhood and life to your baby girl.
You need to remember that you need to live too. You are a person outside of fatherhood. You need support and someone to love you too. It is ok to feel for another, you can still remember your daughter mother on her passing date, mother day, birthday but you also need to learn to live again, to not leave her passing hold you back to feeling so much in this world and you can celebrate finding someone to bring into your lives.
This person has stood by and watch you in your dark moments. She listens to you. She gives you support, you are starting to feel something, yes it is scary to move forward but it can be rewarding not just for you but your daughter. Why not try, take each day as they come. Focus on 1 day at a time. Small little steps forward and go seek therapy for your grief.