I got flayed alive for this take because apparently I’m a dumbass who doesn’t understand hyperbole but in my opinion this phrase sucks because “always a man” implies “never a woman” and as a woman who was in an abusive relationship with a woman who knows people who were sexually abused by women I do not like that implication.
Im trying to see if I really am just a dipshit who doesn’t understand hyperbole or if other people find this phrase hurtful.
I’m not trying to create an echo chamber of everyone agreeing with me or rage bait, I really am unsure if I’m just not getting it because people really did tear me to shreds over this, I had to delete the post because I got like 200 hate comments.
Comments
I hate that phrase & would also hate it if gender flipped too
It just assumes all women are perfect angels & aren’t capable of abuse when both genders are
However I do think certain types of abuse are more commonly committed by men & others more by women but just by pure statistics
On a side note I also dislike the phrase “happy wife happy life” since to me in my mind it implies the husband’s happiness isn’t necessary
So me & my partner like to say “happy spouse happy house”
I never heard of that. But anyway, hyperboles are a bad way to argue anything since its not an accurate assessement by definition. If someone were to say that in my vicinity, I would quickly disregard everything this person says.
I was abused by both men and women physically and sexually (straight men and lesbian pedophiles). 😃 I don’t discriminate when I insult people. Lol
Is a father to a child?
I just gave up fighting in this society that demonizes men, most of the times I just continue my life and let people live in their bubble.
Only Sith speak in absolutes.
It’s just the internet bro.
Anybody with common sense understands that women can be just as dangerous as men and engage in much of the same activities.
People in general are shitty. Neither sex should be vilified or glorified.
Statistically, relationships with the highest rates of domestic violence and divorce are lesbian relationships and the lowest are gays.
Phrases including always, never, every are highly likely to be incorrect.
Child sexual predator comes to mind, ive never seen or known a female child sexual predator tho that doesnt mean they dont exist.
Its just todays society. But its not reflective of reality at all.
Some of the most horrific life destroying things I’ve ever witnessed one human do to another were done by women.
Man can definitely be shitheads but so can women.
Ive honestly not heard that second half before, because it is inherently false.
If anyone told me that phrase in a non-sarcastic/unironic way, I’d instantly know that they are not someone i want to be involved with.
I ask them if they blame all Muslims for 9/11 or 7/7, etc.
Not because i think i have a hope of convincing that person but to show to others the rank bigotry of that statement in a language they’re more likely to understand
I mean, I would straight up never talk to someone again if they were to say something like that.
It’s quick and catchy and perfect for 60-second videos or a sassy comeback to someone. And has no nuance at all. So it can be very frustrating to hear.
I believe women when they tell me about shitty experiences with men. But I’m also aware that women are capable of just as terrible things as any man. The uncomfortable reality is that it’s complicated. But that oftentimes crashes with someone’s world view.
A lot of the times, those women saying it have experienced trauma, so anything other than validation is seen as dismissive or an attack.
I treat it similarly to ‘man up’ or ‘a real/good man does eyz’ ie a bit silly.
There’s also group think and hive mind depending on where you go on the internet. Tribalism.
Only I deal in absolutes
Anyone else is just a buzzword parrot, that you should take no notice of because it shows a lack of critical thinking
Just replace man/men with immigrants or blacks and see how it sounds
Swap “men” for almost anything else and in most circles you’d be hanged, drawn, and quartered.
If you’re allowed to make fun of one group but not another, there’s a problem, and statements like “not all men, but always a man” aren’t going to do anything to help solve the issues driving people apart, it’ll only worsen them.
I hate the phrase because it’s just another form of generalisation. Which is always wrong unless it’s against men, apparently. Personally, I follow the school of “If you can swap [insert group of people here] with [a different group of people] and it becomes offensive, it was offensive the first time too. ”
If you swap men in that phrase with another group, is it still inoffensive? “Not all Jews, but somehow always a Jew”, “Not all Arican-Americans, but somehow always an African-American”, “Not all Belgians, but always a Belgian.” It’s important not to downplay the fact that us men are over represented in certain statistics, but hyperbolic and generalist statements like this are never accurate nor helpful to actual conversations around problems we face in our modern age.
“Not all black men, but always a black man”.
Yeah, it doesn’t pass the bigotry test for me. Thumbs down. No stars. Nil points. Do not pass go.
If it’s something that sounds bad if you flip it and they give you shit for it, then it’s something I just ignore. Reddit as a whole loves its double standards and if you return the same energy they act like you’re the one with the problem.
In my opinion, massive populist movements (of any political spectrum) end up oversimplifying complex issues. Of course, men are usually the perpetrators of (physical) abuse, but leaving women out of the question implies the conceptualization of women as “the good gender”.
It’s an infantile dehumanization of women typical of idealistic viewpoints. It reminds me of the “good Indian” stereotype that surged after the views towards Native Americans changed in the XX century. By implying that women cannot or are almost incapable of perpetrating abuse amounts to scraping off one of the most (although violent and unreputable) authentic characteristics of humanity. In doing so, by mistake, you’re saying that women are not that much of a person.
In the actual climate, I’d advise not to talk much about politics if it affects your stability. People won’t understand each other and will tackle complex issues like a football match between two sides.
I dislike it
That phrase is misandry. There’s no foul thing that a man can do that hasn’t also been done by a woman. There’s of course differences in the numbers and methods but women can be every bit as cruel and abusive as men.
I also hate “always a man” for the same reason you do. It denies the fact that women can also be abusers, and thus tells victims that their suffering doesn’t matter.