My sister (31F) is staying with me temporarily after leaving her husband. I (30M) have a small apartment but I let her move in because she had nowhere else to go and she’s six months pregnant. I wasn’t very pleased about this situation but she is my sis afterall.
The main issue has been food. I’m pretty disciplined about what I eat because I am in bulk stage and hitting the gym regularly. I portion things, label them and plan for the entire week. But every other day something’s gone. Makes me crazy.
She’ll drink all my expensive shakes, polish off meals I’ve prepped for work, eat snacks I’ve saved for post run, and even finish leftovers I was planning to turn into new meals. When I bring it up, she shrugs and says things like “Cravings hit hard” or “Hormones” or “You are being mean”.
I asked her to replace things she finishes or at least ask before taking something. Or hell, manage her own food for god’s sake. She refuses to do anything about it.
So last week I ordered a small mini fridge and set it up in my bedroom. It’s just big enough for my meal prep, snacks and drinks. I didn’t make a scene about it. I just quietly started putting all my stuff there.
She noticed two days later and got pissed. She said I was being “childish,” “dramatic” and “treating her like a thief.” I calmly told her I was tired of my groceries disappearing and that this was the easiest way to avoid fights.
Now she’s sulking and has told our parents after her failed marriage, her brother is also alienating her. And she is just a burden for everyone. My mom called and said I should “pregnancy isn’t easy” and especially for her situation.
I don’t think I’m being cruel. I’m still letting her live here rent-free, and I’ve even offered to order food or cook together, but I just want my food to be left alone. A part of me understands she is going through trouble. But, at my expense?
AITA?
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My sister (31F) is staying with me temporarily after leaving her husband. I (30M) have a small apartment but I let her move in because she had nowhere else to go and she’s six months pregnant. I wasn’t very pleased about this situation but she is my sis afterall.
The main issue has been food. I’m pretty disciplined about what I eat because I am in bulk stage and hitting the gym regularly. I portion things, label them and plan for the entire week. But every other day something’s gone. Makes me crazy.
She’ll drink all my expensive shakes, polish off meals I’ve prepped for work, eat snacks I’ve saved for post run, and even finish leftovers I was planning to turn into new meals. When I bring it up, she shrugs and says things like “Cravings hit hard” or “Hormones” or “You are being mean”.
I asked her to replace things she finishes or at least ask before taking something. Or hell, manage her own food for god’s sake. She refuses to do anything about it.
So last week I ordered a small mini fridge and set it up in my bedroom. It’s just big enough for my meal prep, snacks and drinks. I didn’t make a scene about it. I just quietly started putting all my stuff there.
She noticed two days later and got pissed. She said I was being “childish,” “dramatic” and “treating her like a thief.” I calmly told her I was tired of my groceries disappearing and that this was the easiest way to avoid fights.
Now she’s sulking and has told our parents after her failed marriage, her brother is also alienating her. And she is just a burden for everyone. My mom called and said I should “pregnancy isn’t easy” and especially for her situation.
I don’t think I’m being cruel. I’m still letting her live here rent-free, and I’ve even offered to order food or cook together, but I just want my food to be left alone. A part of me understands she is going through trouble. But, at my expense?
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> She is pregnant and i should be cutting her some slack. But, she is eating my food despite reprimanding her
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. She should be responsible for her own food. You didn’t put the baby in her, you are not responsible for feeding it.
NTA, you’ve asked nicely, it’s your food and you’re already doing her a favor. tell her you’re going to kick her out if she can’t get it together.
NTA. She may be pregnant, but she’s still a grown woman who can sort her own food out.
No. You just remedied the problem in the most logical way possible.
NAH.
Of course she’s in a bad situation, but that doesn’t give her free range to mess up your meal planning or training routine.
If your parents want to help, they can bring her groceries.
NTA
She should be at least getting her own groceries if she’s staying with you. Getting a mini fridge isn’t being childish or dramatic, it’s ensuring you still have food.
Nta, why doesn’t your mom take her in and feed her if she thinks it’s ok?
She may be going through a hard time but she is a whole entire adult. She should really figure out how to feed herself before her baby is born and she has that responsibility too.
NTA. It sounds like you’ve made every effort to be accommodating and she’s just not taking you up on it. I mean at the very least ask before you eat someone else’s food, that’s just common courtesy.
NTA
Keeping your own meal preps to yourself, in your own home is a reasonable boundary.
I’m sure she’s going through a lot, and feeding a pregnant woman is a whole different thing. Here hormones are likely also messing with her emotions. People fear pregnant women for a reason.
I’d say you ride it out and continue to be clear you’re willing to help where you can, but she is your sister, not your wife or child.
NTA. From watching my sister through her pregnancies, I have absolutely no doubt that pregnancy cravings are real and can be super intense. However, self control are respect are still a thing. My sister never once got into my snacks without asking first, no matter how good they seemed or how bad her craving was. I’m sure many women who have experienced pregnancy can attest to cravings being extreme, but I also think they would be able to recognize the disrespect your sister is showing by eating your foods with no regards to you.
NTA. She’s living there rent-free, she knows she is pregnant and hungry, and she should definitely have been sorting out her own groceries the entire time you have been housing her.
Where is she going to stay once the baby is born? You have got bigger problems than groceries, if she won’t even contribute to food costs. NTA
NTA but you will be to yourself if you don’t stand up for yourself here. she’s pregnant she’s not made of glass and she’s not stupid. she knows exactly what she is doing and she also knows that she’s taking advantage of you. i am not saying to kick her out- because i get it that’s your sister and she needs you- but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with her just fully being disrespectful.
i’d recommend have a sit down convo with her and your parents (since she decided to involve them may as well make sure they have all the info) where you lay out what you’re doing for her and what your expectations and boundaries are. it may seem silly and even like overreacting but this is your space that you have voluntarily decided to share- that doesn’t mean you have to burn yourself to keep her warm.
Well now we know why she got divorced
NTA
Sounds very rough and can only imagine she is going through hell BUT it should not be at (more of) your expense. You were actually very nice by letting her live there rent free and even getting the mini fridge and separating your food; rather than kicking her out.
Also.. you are treating her like a thief because she is one quite literally. If she makes more drama you’ll have to tell her either she stops complaining of you storing your food or she needs to leave; because she can’t just keep eating your food and not replace it or not even care.
And why are your parents not helping her if they have such opinions?
Let your mom take her in.
You posted this before… why again?
NTA. Bring your sister to the nearest train or bus station, car rental place, or airport, and leave her there. If she’s old enough to have a baby, she’s old enough to get herself to mommy’s house to be appropriately pampered.
I don’t care how pregnant you are, what your cravings are, you do NOT eat other people’s food. Full stop. Pregnancy and cravings are a bad excuse for no impulse control, mooching, and then pouting about it.
I’ve got 2 children and 2 grandchildren … their food comes first, no matter what my cravings are. Those kids eat first – even the 30s age kid because that’s still my kid and it’s someone else’s food.