I’m 19F, and I’ve been casually seeing this guy (23M) for about two months. We’ve hung out a few times, lots of late-night talks, some flirting, and honestly, pretty strong chemistry.
The other night, we were texting, and he said something like “you’re a lot… maybe too much to handle” with a winky face. I didn’t respond because it rubbed me the wrong way…I feel like he was trying to negg me or test how I’d react.
Since then, he’s sent me a couple of messages asking if I’m mad or if I “ghosted him already.” I haven’t replied because I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if that was just kind of disrespectful.
My best friend thinks I’m being dramatic and should just laugh it off, but part of me feels like if he thinks I’m “too much,” maybe he shouldn’t be around me at all.
AITAH for ignoring him after that comment?
Comments
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You sound dramatic and you did him a favour
damn he was right
I feel like knowing the context that lead to him saying that would be helpful, because I seriously doubt that was something said completely unprompted.
But I guess NTA for ignoring someone when you’ve been rubbed the wrong way
EDIT: YTA after more context. Bro literally just agreed with your flirty comment in an equally flirty manner and you entirely read it wrong.
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I agree, we need context!! He might have meant it in a NSFW way lol
Need more context but you sound overly dramatic.
Yeah, that’s fair. I’ll give a bit more context.
We were texting late at night, kind of teasing each other, and I was being a little playful and flirty. I told him he probably couldn’t handle me if things ever got serious (it was mostly joking). He laughed and said “You’re a lot… maybe too much to handle 😏.”
It wasn’t super mean, but something about the tone made me pause. It felt like he was low-key putting me down or testing my reaction. I think it hit a nerve because I’ve been in situations where guys say things like that to make me feel like I have to prove I’m worth handling.
Hope that helps explain why I didn’t reply right away.
Man flirts – woman takes it as insult and says nothing, does nothing other than ignore him and pout in solitude.
Sounds about right.
So what DO you want? Because let me guess, you want him to “fight for you” and come groveling back.
YTA and stop looking for insults around every corner. It will be all you find. That, and misery and isolation.
YTA
Absolutely sounds like he was dirty talking you with that winky face…and you took it wrong, went all drama queen about it, and proved your incorrect interpretation of what he said correct lmao
The winky face was an important tone indicator, and you ignored it.
It sounds like bad flirting, not a neg.
You took it wrong, but you’re teenager, so that’s fine. Teens are meant to be dramatic.
No, you’re not, but I think you should tell him how you feel. Men and women don’t think alike, so just tell him that what he said hurt your feelings, so you backed off a bit.
It sounds like he was just flirting back.
What? He’s flirting with you. He is saying he can’t handle you sexually. Complement
It sounds like he just responded to your joke.
Nah… you’re not overreacting. You’ve barely started seeing this guy, you can stop seeing him for any reason you like. Including you just lost interest or esp he’s showing you red flags. That is negging. You don’t have to accept it. I think you’re absolutely right in moving on. If someone wants to neg you when you should still be in the honeymoon stage then that won’t get better.
If someone thinks you’re too much, maybe they’re not enough.
Unless they were just attempting a witty comment……but, doesn’t sound like you know them well enough to know either way. But, anything can set a person off to ICK-land.
I’m reserving judgement for anyone.
YTA. Its not mature to write people off completely for one comment or one joke without first clarifying what they meant.
Always, always honor your gut instincts. Ignoring them leads to a lot of negative consequences. There is truth in jokes.
YTA
After reading comments, he literally just agreed with you(and possibly was even being self deprecating) and you ghosted him when he was clearly flirting
Sounds like you can’t take a joke
YTA. Deserved to lose him.
It sounds like you have some maturing to do, some learning more about yourself. Flirting and teasing can be fun but if you’re confused or it rubs you the wrong way, why not say something? Like “what do you mean”, perhaps? You got your feelings hurt? I saw nothing in his statement that was demeaning or minimizing you and he followed it up with a wink. Don’t take yourself so seriously and not every guy is the same, ok? Take each person as a new fresh start and leave the baggage behind you.
Ya, YTA, he did nothing but answer you in the same flirty way your own comment came across. You ghosted him, making him feel like he did something wrong when in fact, you are the one who did. You owe him an apology and explanation for your behavior.
Maybe NTA? If he’s making jokes like this at the start, he really means it. That was uncalled for. He’s immature.
But it also depends on what the conversation was prior to him saying that. You did not share that with us so we can’t make a true judgment.
with a winky face. he was flirting and not only did you ignore him, you came to reddit about it. i don’t think you’re ready for any kind of relationship
Yta
He was flirting with you.
You deserve the roasting you’re getting in these comments 🤣🤣
YTA, ghosting and playing mind games over a nothing comment like that, honestly just sounds like you did homie a favor and saved him some headaches lol
NTA that wouldnt rub me the right way either. youre better to run at the first red flag with men. trust your gut