I got drunk and said something horrible that I feel so guilty and ashamed about. I said it in a conversation with my mum (she was sober) and she said that it was completely out of character for me and I could see the shock on her face. The thing is that I remember saying it so I feel even worse. It’s been over a year since this happened and I still feel the guilt weighing heavy. How do you forgive yourself for things like this?
Edit: It wasn’t something that I said about my mum, it was something said in a conversation with her. I don’t want to post what I said but I guess it was said as sort of dark humour joke, but I realised when I was sober that it’s not funny at all. It was said about someone who I don’t even really know (other than in passing) so I can’t apologise as they wouldn’t know what I was apologising for as they wouldn’t even know that I’d said it. However, that doesn’t stop me feeling terrible about it still as I still know what I said! I also drink once in a blue moon so getting drunk is not a regular occurrence.
Comments
Talk to your mum.
Hi! Good evening!
This happens. This is one the main reasons to stay from alchohol.
What is the lesson which you have taken from that incident ?
How have you condoned for your actions ?
Have you been forgiven by your mother ?
What steps have you taken to avoid such an incident with anyone in future ?
How have you made up to your mom for that ?
Perhaps asking and answering such questions will help to ease the burden on your consiousness. Action can help to erase the guilt of another action.
Best wishes!
Was what you said true? Or something that you believe/think deep down?
The only thing you really can do is make a genuine apology and try not to drink to the point that you lose your filter in the future.
Been there, and it’s such a heavy feeling. The fact that you still care this much shows it’s not who you are. Be gentle with yourself growth comes from moments like these.
“How do you forgive yourself for things like this?”
You apologize and try to make up for it.
I have said a lot of things I deeply regretted while drunk back in the day. I felt worse than the people I said them to knew. Sometimes they were upset, after a while I guess they just expected it which I didn’t realize at the time. I would apologize, tell them I didn’t mean it, etc.
I don’t think I ever needed or felt like I needed to forgive myself, I needed them to forgive me. Even though I always regretted hurting someone I loved and never wanted to do it again, it continued to happen. The cycle would repeat.
Now, I can say that the reason this happened was things I held inside either because the person couldn’t be told they’d done something wrong, I couldn’t say what had hurt me, and just general symptoms of the lack of honest communication in the relationship whether it be from me, them, or both. Additionally there were things that I carried that had nothing to do with them but the emotion of those things would come out expressing my issue about whatever toward them.
At that time I USED alcohol, I didn’t have drinks. I used it to forget and not feel things that I carried with me. I did all the things I was supposed to do or knew to do at the time so I don’t know if I could’ve don’t things different or not, it’s hard to say. I had no support and by the time I did I didn’t let her support me because I was already carrying a lot.
I would say communicate as soon and as honestly as needed. Don’t be mean. Don’t drink to fix problems. Fix problems and then drink to celebrate if you want, but if you keep drinking to celebrate you’ll end up with problems again lol
So be careful and be nice to the people you love.