It was my(18) little sister(13)’s birthday. Our parents and her friends’ parents asked me and my girlfriend(17) who is one of the kids’ sister, to take them to the cinema. So we did.
After getting the tickets, I went to buy the drinks. Asked them what they all want. Two Fuze Teas, one slushie and one Coca Cola. Got around to the final kid who looked a bit sad. She said her mom doesn’t let her drink sugary drinks. Then she pointed at a shelf where there are small boxes of unsweetened almond milk, saying that those are okay. So I got one of those for her.
My girlfriend later said I shouldn’t have gotten the other kids drinks she wanted to try but wasn’t allowed to, and that it was insensitive.
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
It was my(18) little sister(13)’s birthday. Our parents and her friends’ parents asked me and my girlfriend(17) who is one of the kids’ sister, to take them to the cinema. So we did.
After getting the tickets, I went to buy the drinks. Asked them what they all want. Two Fuze Teas, one slushie and one Coca Cola. Got around to the final kid who looked a bit sad. She said her mom doesn’t let her drink sugary drinks. Then she pointed at a shelf where there are small boxes of unsweetened almond milk, saying that those are okay. So I got one of those for her.
My girlfriend later said I shouldn’t have gotten the other kids drinks she wanted to try but wasn’t allowed to, and that it was insensitive.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole since it was perhaps insensitive to get the other kids drinks she wanted to try but wasn’t allowed to.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
An asshole is a massive overstatement lol.
You just didn’t think about it. Now you know in the future.
NTA- the kid spoke up for herself, didn’t fall to peer pressure and did what she knows she’s been told to do. A conversation for that kid and her mum to sort out.
NTA – she had the choice to get whatever she wanted. She chose to follow her mom’s expectations.
NTA, one, she went last, how were you supposed to know? Two, going back on your offer to the other kids to get them drinks would’ve sucked and possibly made them all blame her. It’s definitely a bummer for her, and I feel for the kid, but the situation is beyond you.
NTA. You don’t know what health issues the young girl had. And 13 is old enough to speak up for herself.
Nta- you dont know why she’s not allowed to have those drinks. Maybe its the sugar, maybe she acts crazy on caffeine or maybe she has some allergy. You didnt know and its not fair to the other kids to limit their drink choice because one kid has strict parents. Now you know so next time maybe you could talk to the parents and see if they could make an exception or ask if there is a good drink yall could just sneak into the theater next time. (I sneak in drinks and snacks all the time!)
NAH. That’s hard to deal with, but if you had decided against getting the other drinks after learning this fact, you would have just built resentment in the other kids against her for ruining their enjoyment of their drinks.
I would’ve just talked to the girl a bit about how she’s actually doing the right thing by obeying her mom and that the sugary drinks really are bad for her and it’s best she is able to avoid them and that you’re proud of her for it. She deserved at least a verbal reward for it. I would’ve also gotten the same thing as her to make her not feel left out.
NTA she still got something so didn’t go without and okay she missed out on some sugar but her mum would’ve probably found out and might have been mad with you and that doesn’t seem that deep.
She could have just lied to you about it and had a sugary drink but obviously didn’t want to be dishonet
It’s not that deep really 🤷🏻♀️
NTA.
The worst thing you can do to a child’s social life is to make their limitations everyone else’s problem.
It’s one thing if it’s natural allergy, like you don’t give one kid peanuts at the other kids gonna die.
But you can absolutely guess who’s not going to be invited if their parents limit everyone else’s choices.
NAH.
You offered, which was the right thing to do.
The child whose parents don’t allow sugary drinks obeyed her parents, which was the right thing to do.
Everyone seemingly behaved exactly as they should have.
You absolutely should not prevent the other kids from having the drinks they want. All that would have done is made every other kid resent the one who is preventing them from drinking what they want. This would only isolate the last girl even more.
If the last girl really wants to try sugary drinks and is upset at not being allowed to have them, that is something between her and her parents that you don’t want to meddle with.
NTA. No harm, no foul here.
Well this is quite silly.
If you’d known in advance, you would have skipped the drinks most likely but you didn’t.
Nothing asshole about that
NTA with a bullet! It is disappointing but you don’t know why this dietary limit. You were great to respect it.
NTA. You gave her what she asked for, and causing a scene about nobody getting drinks would be way worse.
She’s 13. If her mom was just being dramatic about sugar, she would probably have just asked for a soda while away from home.
Since she didn’t, she probably understands why she shouldn’t have them. Pre-diabetic or other medical conditions exist in 13 year olds, even if she might not want her friends to know.
NTA and honestly that kid is awesome. She was sad of course, or possibly embarrassed, but she certainly didn’t sound like she expected special treatment from the group just because she couldn’t have something. That’s more than most adults these days. You don’t know her reasons, you have no idea if it’s just helicopter parenting or she has an issue with sugar. She handled it very maturely and you did good by sticking by her decision.
NTA – You did everything right here. Your girlfriend’s logic is flawed. She would rather have everyone be miserable instead of everyone getting what they usually get. Imagine what it would have been like to break the news to the kid who wanted the icee.
Kid: I want an Icee
Your GF: Here’s your almond milk.
Yeah, that’s not going to end well.
NTA, but GIVE A MEDAL AND A BIG HUG to the SMART kid who didn’t want to drink the crap you give the other kids!
On second thought, YTA fir poisoning the kids with that horrendous beverages which, btw, are FORBIDDEN in Europe.
Edit: before jumping and saying that Coca Cola is available in EU, take a good hard look at the ingredients list. Many of the ingredients used the USA are forbidden in Europe, one example is the high fructose corn syrup, leading cause of child obesity which, incidentally, in Europe is a tenth than in the USA.
NTA. How would you have known? And even if you did, you gave her an alternative that at least wasn’t water.
NAH
Yeah it sucks for that kid to not be able to join in. But punishing the other kids isn’t fair.
NTA. It sounds like you were respectful of the limitations of that family and without knowing why they have that restriction you made a wise call. What if it were a health related issue?
definitely NTA. the girl was probably sad because she didn’t get what she wanted while everyone else did. you did a nice thing and it’s not your fault that her parents won’t let her have anything besides almond milk.
Would I have slyly smiled and asked her if she wanted it anyway? Well yes. It’s ok that you didn’t. NTA.
Nta, you dont know the dietary limits and concerns.
For future; any time you are taking a group or any kids to do anything without their parents, get dietary restrictions before hand. That way you avoid the awkwardness. In addition, if their reasoning is “we dont want her hyper” ask for permission to allow her a small soda or slushie, that way she gets the joyful surprise of being allowed what the other kids have
NTA, but your girlfriend is stepping on the line…
Nta. As a parent, I explain to my kiddo that every house has different rules. You respected each families choices for their child. Your gf is reaching here.
you asked the kid what they wanted, and they answered.
That is the end of the story.
NTA of course
NTA. You accepted the girls choice without pressing her to get something else. If you had, YWBTA.
Do you know why the child couldn’t have sugar? They still had an option available which is great. That’s not always the case. My kiddo has a rare disease and can’t have sugar. He has had to drink water when everyone else is drinking soda many times. That’s life though and he wouldn’t expect his friends to pass up a sugary drink just because he can’t have it.
I was this kid. HUGE chance that I had the T1 diabetes gene so I was never allowed to have sugar drinks. Diet soda was the closest it came. Wasn’t allowed to eat very much candy, either.
It kinda doesn’t matter, from the perspective of having been that kid. Other kids were drinking sugary shit around me all the time and it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Your girlfriend is being a jerk though. No need to call the kid out about it or make it a bigger deal than it really is.
Nta. It’s not like you told her sugar or nothing, you got the almond milk for her.
It was your sister’s birthday, it would not have been fair to tell her water or almond milk. And if you changed your mind on the sodas, you would have had a riot and embarrassed the kid. Besides, if you said almond milk for everyone, I guarantee you that someone would have had a nut allergy.
What everyone else said about getting the restrictions before leaving next time. Maybe ask if the parents will let her have a cheat day for the party.
NAH
It’s fine to let kids have something that other kids can’t. In fact stopping everyone who’s allowed to have soda or whatever from having one or doing something because one kid can’t risks that one kid getting pushed out by the rest of the kids. That kid is used to not getting sugar, and it’s a bummer but there might be really good reasons why they can’t so all you can do is let them have the closest equivalent of what everyone else is having so they don’t feel super left out.
What’s insensitive is a parent sending their kid to a party and forbidding them to enjoy themselves like the other kids. Unless there are serious food allergies involved, in which case the kid wouldn’t be able to attend at all, let the kid be part of the group and enjoy a treat with friends. NTA but mom is.
NTA- The rest of the world is not going to adapt to her. What if she had an allergy? Everyone around her isn’t going to stop eating what they like just because she can’t have it. That’s the way life is. Things are disappointing. My parents were very strict. There were places I wasn’t allowed to go that other kids could. Was I disappointed, sure. Did other kids stop going? No. You learn that life has disappointments for everyone and you get over it.
NTA – Seems unfair to deny all the kids because of one parent’s non allergy restrictions.
Yes
NTA but it sucks for the child.
NTA. You kindly offered everyone the same, and she could have had it too, but chose otherwise.