Okay that title is a little click baity. It was their car that I have maintained, and paid the registration and insurance on for years. They have every right to give it away.
My mom doesn’t drive and my dad had his license taken away after a DUI. I live a couple of blocks away from them and I work from home. I don’t really need a car except for getting groceries and running my folks around.
My dad’s car was a Jeep Grand Cherokee that was only three years old when he lost his license. It was fully paid off so I just took over paying for insurance and registration. It was nice to have a car for errands and for running errands for my folks. And it is a much nicer car than I would have gotten for myself.
My brother was over a couple of months ago and he was pissier than usual about me getting a free car. He was hollering about how I’m the golden child and my parents give me everything. So my dad told me to give the car back so he could give it to my brother since it would be fair because I got to use it for free for four years.
Like I said it’s not my car and I really don’t need one.
My brother lives across town. A good 45 minutes away. I live five minutes away.
My mom called me on Friday a couple of weeks ago to remind me that she had a hearing aid appointment. I reminded here that I no longer had a car. She ended up taking a cab because my brother was at work. My dad called me to ask me to come over and talk. So I walked my dog Bruno over to see them. My dad said that I had four years to save up to buy my own car and he wanted to know when I was going to buy one.
I told him I don’t need a car. I’m happy getting Walmart to deliver my groceries because I’m not like my mom and insist on inspecting every stalk of celery before it goes in my cart. Both of us live on a good bus route that takes us downtown of we need to go to the doctor or anything like that. I said I wasn’t planning on buying a car.
He said he hoped that I’m not expecting him to buy me a car just to run errands for them. I said I DO NOT NEED A CAR. I work from home. My clients see me in my home. My salon is on the main floor of my house and I have a nice basement suite for me and Bruno. I order supplies that get delivered, I order groceries that get delivered, I ordered stuff from Amazon that gets delivered. I don’t need a car or the expense of a car.
I told him to get my brother to run them around since he has a car now. My dad had the decency to look embarrassed. He said that my brother took our mom for groceries once and acted like it was a huge imposition and made her cry. So they didn’t want to ask him for favors. I pointed out that they could just ask for the car back but that was also a non starter.
I said that I would not be getting a car but that if he wants I will split the cost of a car share membership. That way I can take a bus to the nearest car and use it for a few hours when they need a ride. He agreed but he thinks I should pay the whole thing. I reiterated that I do not need a car. And that if he keeps it up I won’t even split the cost with him.
He thinks I’m being ungrate and childish because I had an almost new car for free for four years. I just roll my eyes now.
EDIT
I changed a word because my father didn’t use it he just implied it. Also I stopped paying the insurance on the car which is still registered to my dad. The registration is paid for for the year already. Also I did use the car for personal stuff sometimes. Getting together with girlfriends and going on dates. I don’t like men knowing where I live before I get to know them.
Comments
NTA, you running them around and doing errands was payment for the use of the car, the fact your dad idiotically gave the car to your brother without thinking the repercussions his on him and only him
> I will split the cost of a car share membership.
NO!!! Why? This will obligate you to run errands for them again but this time it’ll be more hassle because you’d have to bus to and from the rental place then drive to them.
Your parents don’t want to bother your brother who has a car and can help them out much more efficiently, but won’t help them. Instead, they’d rather you jump through hoops because you’re more … i don’t want to say compliant, but yeah, you’re more of a doormat than your jerk brother. Hell, your dad thinks you need to cover the whole rental account! That’s how much he thinks you owe him, vs your brother who doesn’t have to lift a finger.
Look, tell your dad, he gave the car to bro, bro can run his errands for him. You shouldn’t have to come out of pocket just to be able to drive them around. If bro doesn’t want to do it, then they get the car back to you, dad pays for its insurance and maintenance, and you drive them around when you have time.
NTA
I am going to make an assumption that the OP is female which I think explains FORKING EVERYTHING in here, explanation being underlying and rampant sexism. If the OP is male then I will go with homophobia (whether or not OP is gay is unknown, but talking about girlfriends and men they date would all lead me to think if OP is not a hetero woman, they are a gay man).
They think the person nearby should assist the family AND pay money to do it. I think that’s unreasonable of them. I would bet an actual dime that the next year’s insurance and registration or whatever will NOT be paid by the brother even if he still has the car.
Being the sibling who is a f-up does not automatically mean the other siblings are a golden child.
You didn’t “use the car for free for four years;” you paid for insurance and registration (which you did not have to do), and on top of that, you acted as your parents’ personal, unpaid Uber. He played stupid games, letting your brother gaslight him; now he gets to enjoy his stupid prizes. NTA.
Don’t split the cost of a rideshare. These are the consequences of his actions: Getting his license revoked, looking a gift horse in the mouth (you), giving the car away, and still somehow expecting to have a say over the use of it. His entitlement is astounding.
INFO: who actually owns the car did they transfer the title?
Nta get the car back and teach your mom how to drive.
NTA, they gave away the car giving them transport and are insisting you buy a new one you don’t need. Too bad, they gave it away, it was their action. You’re being far more generous than I would be.
NTA sounds like you are handling everything just perfectly!
NTA! Why would it be your responsibility to get them a car share membership? And how are you the ungrateful one when your brother made a stink about not getting the car AND complained about giving them a ride? And why did he assume you’d be saving to get a car just because you didn’t buy the one you’d been using? This whole thing makes no sense. It sucks that your parents are in that situation, but it also sounds like they put themselves in that situation.
Dad is conveniently hard of hearing. Op does not need a car.
NTA
You are not required to buy a car to chauffeur your parents around.
They can sign up for an Uber account.
Didn’t scroll through all the comments, to see if it came up but if Dad lost his license for more than 4 years, this isn’t his first DUI.
Had he learned the lesson after the first or second DUI, he would not have been facing a 3rd(maybe 4th DUI.
Op is NTA
NTA and I think you should reconsider the idea of splitting a car share with your parents. They have already shown a willingness to disregard your needs and take advantage of you. Cut your financial ties to them and let them sort out their own errands and transportation needs.
Doesn’t anyone understand the word NO anymore? You were very clear and he still argued. He has another child…who has the car.
NTA! As far as your dad goes let the punishment fit the crime. Honestly let him figure out how he will get around.
I wonder, why bro is not asking OP to continue paying insurance? Waiting for registration renewal, maybe then will ask. Unless bro already got daddy dear to pay. Seems like daddy FAFO. Quiet nice son was expected to bend over. And now they’re pissed that obedient son doesn’t want to dance to their tunes.
OP, nta. There’s always an Uber/taxi as transportation option if they don’t want to use public. You seem to be OK with those options for yourself.
Sounds like your dad made a bad mistake and is trying to make it your problem.
Why is it impossible for him to get the car back from your brother? Did he transfer ownership? Another bad mistake, that.
You don’t need a car, your parents need one. Sounds like your dad should buy another one. The previous deal, you paid for upkeep of the car he owned worked pretty well for you both before he allowed your brother to fuck it up.
NTA
You are NOT the asshole. A “free car” with having to run your parents on errands is not a “free car”. It’s a contract. If I give you my car to use and you drive me around whenever I need it since I lost my driver’s license due to a DUI that was 100% my fault, then you doing the driving around is payment enough.
Your brothers a bit of a jerk and your parents fed into it. They should have just laid out that they didn’t give you a car, you just use their car because you help them out so much. It’s what my dad would have done.
If having a car/driving are so important to your dad, perhaps he shouldn’t drive while drunk. Maybe he should think about that.
NTA- I live where I don’t need a car, and I totally get this. I use a car share/uber as needed. But I don’t need a car. If he wants your help, he needs to contribute in some way.
Your parents made their decision – now they must pay the price for that. YNTA.
Part of me would be upset that your brother is being so selfish part of me would be giving them a ride whenever they need Uber. And part of me is like why is this your problem. Shalom you’re loved 💔
Not for nothing, as far as you know your brother has not insured this car. It is still registered and titled to Dad. If brother gets in an accident- your father will be sued. He is liable. If he wants to give the car away- give the title and have it registered in the name of the owner.
Dad has really man-ed himself into a corner
NTA. You get taken advantage of because you are nice.