Am I (29M) being taken advantage of by my (28F) girlfriend?

I love my girlfriend but I feel like I’m being taken advantage of to a degree. We’re living together for the first time for a limited time in a new city. I work a high-stress job 9-10 hours a day and she works a low-stress remote job requiring maybe 20 hours a week.

I do 90% of the cooking and cleaning and pay for almost everything given that I make significantly more. I don’t mind paying for things and I enjoy cooking but I get a bit annoyed when I come home to a super messy apartment when she’s had 4-5 hours more free time than I’ve had and yet has made the place messier instead of cleaning. I’ve mentioned it a few times to no real avail. Whatever, I can live with it and it doesn’t take too long to fix things up.

What really has me reconsidering things is what happened last week. She went to the beach while I was at work, which I think is a great use of free time in a new city. But when I got home and texted her to ask what her plan was, she said she was eating dinner and was heading home soon. I said “oh.” She asked what that meant and I said I would have liked food too. She got super defensive and acted like I said something crazy. I said that I always ask her if she wants something when I’m getting food and that it would have been nice for her to offer to get me something. For context, we eat dinner together pretty much every night.

She ended up getting me something but came home crying. She said she was just having her own day and enjoying food at the beach and that I ruined her day by making her feel guilty for not offering to get me something. I said it’s not a big deal but it hurt my feelings that she didn’t think of me enough to ask if I wanted anything. She said that I was being crazy and that she can’t empathize with me at all because I’m a grown man and can figure out something to eat if I’m hungry and that I shouldn’t have said anything because it’s not a big deal and all it did was ruin her day. I asked if she would think it’s weird if I stopped and got myself dinner on the way home from work without saying anything and she said no. I find that hard to believe but I’m not petty enough to actually test it. I always ask if she wants something.

I’m not really looking for validation because I know what I was asking from her was not crazy. I’m more wondering how big of a red flag this is because since this has happened I’ve been more acutely aware of instances where she doesn’t think of me in these everyday situations which I consider just being part of being in a relationship. Am I cooked?

Tl;dr I feel like I do the heavy lifting in the relationship and my girlfriend doesn’t think of me enough to try to even things out. Am I being taken advantage of?