Today 14 July, I (31m) helped my mom (61f) prepare for my sister (34f) and her SO (34m) visiting from Tokyo while my dad (61m) is away. They stay at my mom’s place when they visit, so I helped her clean the house because she’s messy and a pack rat. After everything was done, she went shopping and got food because my sister requested high quality things she can’t get in Tokyo like granola, blueberries, peanut butter, etc… All good.
She then proceeded to make a chicken mushroom onion rice dish that could feed a family of 8. My sister and her SO are pescatarian so they aren’t going to eat it, and I’m not going to either because she knows I don’t like mushrooms that much and it’s a mushroom forward dish. It’s also just… not good: the rice is bland, the chicken is overcooked, etc… And to top it off, my mom doesn’t eat that much food in general, so it’s not like she was meal prepping for herself.
We are having a party on 16 July so some other family members can see my sister, but we already established before she made this dish that for the party we’re getting pizzas and making salad.
Can anyone help me understand why my mother would make a dish, that no one asked for/ is going to eat, after cleaning the entire kitchen? I don’t understand what’s going on in her head. I would understand if she made something that was sentimental or something that everybody would enjoy, and I would also understand if she made a smaller amount, but it’s 8 chicken thighs, 2 cups of rice, etc…
TL;DR Why does my mom make tons of food that no one asked for, no one wants, and no one will eat that much of, including her? It’s a waste of everything: time, money, resources. And to be clear, the dish is not traditional, significant, or meaningful to our family; it’s most likely going to be thrown away.
Comments
Your mom is operating on autopilot. Child comes home= must feed child ALL THE FOOD. The problem is that she’s making the things that feel comfortable to her to make. Will your mom get mad if your sister doesn’t eat the food? Will this put a significant dent in her budget? If no and no, it’s whatever. My mom buys me socks for Christmas every year even though I have enough socks (from her always buying me socks). Parents are weird.
If you want to, print out some recipes for dishes your sister will get jazzed about and offer to make them with your mom, if she’d be into that. If that would be a sure way to end up in a fight with your mom, don’t.