In short, me and her have been friends for a long time. We’ve grown close, no flirting no nun just friendship through highs and lows. Now she’s got a new guy she’s been seeing for two years without me knowing. Then she says we should reduce our talking or she should just cut me off because of her new “man”. I told her she should cut me off and make sure it’s permanent because she made her choice. Instead of trying to make me and the guy become friends she jumped into talking about cutting me off. Therefore I told her to do it. And she’s mad talking about “I can’t cut you off permanently” like come on now. It’s 2025 we dealing with a lot already.
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In short, me and her have been friends for a long time. We’ve grown close, no flirting no nun just friendship through highs and lows. Now she’s got a new guy she’s been seeing for two years without me knowing. Then she says we should reduce our talking or she should just cut me off because of her new “man”. I told her she should cut me off and make sure it’s permanent because she made her choice. Instead of trying to make me and the guy become friends she jumped into talking about cutting me off. Therefore I told her to do it. And she’s mad talking about “I can’t cut you off permanently” like come on now. It’s 2025 we dealing with a lot already.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> A) I told her to cut me off permanently, to move on since I’m disposable.
B)I think that action might make me an asshole because most people would’ve been understanding, and maybe chose to reduce communication and wait for the new man to be comfortable enough to let us resume our communication. I don’t know if that makes sense but yea
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Seems like a lot of information is missing here. But like you said it’s 2025, normalize ending friendship or going no contact if it’s toxic or one sided or grown apart
NTA – but something happened here behind the scenes that we are not seeing. If she’s been with him and has not tried to make you friends, but instead just made that statement to you, I would go with yeah, we were not friends to begin with for you to jump to cutting it off (temporarily ?) She does not get to turn you off and then on again as a friend whenever she wants.
I would feel like the friendship must be one-sided already, if the person I had described as my best friend turned out to have been secretly in a serious relationship for two years without telling me.
Something smells weird here.
NTA. At least with the information from the post. I can’t imagine hiding my relationship from my BEST FRIEND for TWO YEARS. Like. It doesn’t seem like that close of a friendship at this point and I totally understand why you would be upset about that. She is the one who brought up cutting contact so I don’t understand why she would be upset with you suggesting to do just that
So you are a guy and she is a girl.
You are her safety net. You are in friendzone even if you don’t notice it. She doesn’t want her bf to get jealous but wants you to wait just in case she needs you in the future.
She needs you but you don’t worth much to her as a human being. She needs you but doesn’t value you.
Cut her off and never contact again because she also already thinks her relationship will end which means it will eventually. Don’t let her crawl back when it does.
She ain’t your best friend or even your friend at all. Shalom you’re loved 💔