I stupidly started dating my co-worker. We’ve been dating 3 months and everything is working out great except for how he acts with the two women in the front office. I knew that he is outgoing but lately the girls talk about him constantly. He’s always out front talking to them, asking them personal questions, asking for snacks, talking about his workouts, and makes it very clear that he’s single. He says he does it to hide our relationship as I told him I don’t want to tell anyone just yet. He can hide our relationship without making it seem like he’s single. He talks to them more than he talks to me. When he arrives in the morning he just sits out there and talks to them for like 10 minutes. He used to talk to me. Every time I go out there one of the girls has something to say about how he’s on the hunt for a girlfriend or how much time he spends talking to them. One of the girls likes him I can tell.
He seems to flirt with them too by throwing stuff at them, jokingly asking if they want to fight, pounding on their door to scare them. Meanwhile he never speaks to me at work anymore.
I’m 44 so feeling jealous over this is driving me crazy and I want it to stop now. I’ve tried to bring it up to him but he just gets pissed off and makes me seem like I’m overreacting.
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its still early and this is the way he’s acting. he’s making u feel these things already. can u imagine what happens down the line when ur even more invested
The easy solution here is don’t date your coworker.
🚩🚩🚩
This man doesn’t respect your feeling.
people will scream communicate but if he doesnt have the sense to not do this by himself – wonder what else he will do in the future.
You’re not overreacting. His behavior is baffling, at a minimum but totally disrespectful. There is zero reason for him to flirt with the girls at work, while completely ignoring you. He could pretend to them that he started seeing someone outside the office, for instance. Just break it off with him before you get in too deep with this one.
The main red flag behavior that I see is the fact that he gets pissed off at you for bringing it up. It’s difficult to have a good relationship with someone when you can’t have reasonable discussions about things that bother you.
Since we don’t have the full picture, it is entirely possible that you are the kind of person who gets jealous easily. But that still means that he is probably not a good match for you. Since he doesn’t talk to you at work anymore, it seems like it would be easy to just not be as available for a while until you can taper the whole thing off.
He seems like the annoying co-worker nobody likes who thinks he’s funny
>He seems to flirt with them too by throwing stuff at them, jokingly asking if they want to fight, pounding on their door to scare them.
This is flirting? If my coworker did this to me, we’d have some issues. He’s 38, and sounds like a child. I’d probably want to hide that I’m dating him, too.
All that said, when you first started dating, and decided to hide it, did you discuss what that would look like? If he used to spend some time talking with you at your desk, and you want that, ask for it. Be prepared, though, that others can see longing looks and sweet smiles.
And telling people he’s on the hunt for a girlfriend? Yeah, that would need to stop ASAP. Someone will fix him up on a date and then what?
He asked one of them if they wanted to wrestle, yes he’s absolutely flirting.
The only thing we discussed was not telling people right away. We were that’s it just no pda at work. We were normal friends at work before this. Maybe he’s uncomfortable and I get that but why spend so much time with them? They literally feed him. It’s gotten to the point he tells them more information about his life than he does me.
You’re a 44 year old woman and you’re calling the other women around you “females”…why? You’re either super unaware or just very insecure. Yeah the guy’s chatty, dump his ass and then look inwards.
I’m genuinely puzzled though. Doesn’t flaunting his single status with your coworkers kind of scream ‘available’? What am I missing here?
You’re 44 years old and you haven’t learned not to date your coworkers? Babe we learned this lesson in our early twenties… 🚩🚩🚩
Nothing you describe makes it sounds like he’s making it sound like he’s single. You can be jokey and fun with coworkers of the opposite gender without that being inherently shady
Ew. This type of attention seeking behavior is such a huge turn off for me. He’s at work. He’s clearly trying to manipulate your emotions by acting like this in front of you when he did not behave that way before you were dating. This “relationship” will end up being far more trouble than it is peace and as a woman in her 40’s I know for a fact you don’t need that nonsense. If you want to see a clown perform buy a ticket to the circus, don’t take the circus home with you.
never abandon your needs for someone else. why do you want to put up with it instead? break up while you’re not in too deep and keep it moving