Positive resolution!
Original post here. Tl;dr is that my aunt recently died, left her jewelry to her nieces, my male cousin was upset that his daughters wouldn’t benefit.
And because there were some confusion about who everyone was: Two cousins (siblings), C (male) and N (female). Three siblings: I didn’t give them letters but let’s call them E (sister), D (brother), and T (brother). C, N, and E all have kids. Me, D, and T don’t.
So the update. The six of us got together over the 4th. I was able to disburse the last of the proceeds from selling the art, rugs, antiques, etc that none of us wanted. That ended up being a few thousand dollars each, not life-changing money for any of us but nice to have. I will probably use it to go on a solo trip in my aunt’s honor. Once I accrue enough vacation now that I’m working full-time again.
I had decided based on your comments that I would offer any of my nieces, existing and future (if D and T end up having kids) that they could “shop” from my inherited jewelry for their weddings. Before I could even present that solution, C was super apologetic about the way he had acted. He was feeling guilty that he hadn’t been able to spend more time with our aunt before she died (small kids at home, work obligations, etc) and jealous that I had had more flexibility to travel with her for those months, and that made him lash out. Turns out, his wife had essentially read him the riot act when he had complained to her that their daughters weren’t included, reminded him that their daughters have her whole side of the family, reminded him that jewelry is traditionally passed down female lines, the whole bit. He was quite embarrassed by how childish he had acted. But I did present that solution, and both N and E thought it was such a good idea that they said the same, when the next generation of girls gets married, that they can choose from their inheritances, too.
So all is well, thank you all for your support and kind words. I am not going to go NC with any of my sibs or cousins. I still miss my aunt, work is not terribly exciting but it’s a paycheck and it’s nice to see that my surgical skills didn’t slip irreparably.
Comments
Awe I’m glad it’s a happy ending!
I didn’t read your first post but my condolences for your aunt 💜
NTA…Thanks for the update.
Yay for a wife with common sense and not guilty!
Your cousin has a good wife.
This is such a heartwarming update! Your aunt would be very proud of you, and including the nieces when they get married is a perfect way to handle it.
I’m sorry for your loss. 🥲
The doctor with the international licence gets to slip back into surgery. How fitting.
One note: find a way to include daughters that don’t get married. Nobody should be excluded because they didn’t make a certain life choice.
The one change you may consider is to set an age say 25 that if they are not married they can do the same choosing. Not everyone gets married.
What an uplifting end to the story!!
Thank you for posting.
And I’m very sorry for your loss.
We give each female a choice of items from our grandmothers costume jewelry for their wedding day – costume is all she had but a set of fake pearls that are over 100 years old now is still hopefully meaningful
That’s a good resolution op! Inheritance is strange isn’t it – my mum had a brother who inherited a lot of their fathers possession (my lovely Grandi) as it was mum, and therefor her children, only got token items (I have a stool, my brother has his pipe). My uncle sadly passed away nearly ten years ago so now his wife has most of my grandfathers remaining possessions. She’s generous enough to get them out regularly but it’s hard for my mum that her father’s precious things are not with his living child. And it’s my aunt who gets to be generous with them, which hurts mum – for example, aunty gave me a watch of my grandfathers for my wedding, mum would have loved to have been the giver even though we’re grateful for the gift. Ultimately though those things belong to uncle and as is right uncles things now belong to aunty….its good of you to be as generous as my aunty with your inheritance – I’m sure the kids will appreciate it come the time (like I did!)