I was with a 31M who’s never been in a serious relationship before. He only dated maybe 2 other girls before me and it only lasted like less than 3 months.
TLDR: we started dating, I (25F) at the time we started dating was not looking for anything serious, more casual – i did voice that out maybe a month in. I find out later that he wanted to potentially be with me, however he did not voice that out in the start. Eventually he tried to end it but was unsure so we had a couple long talks and ended up mutually agreeing to keep it casual till I relocate – we were exclusive; given he is inexperienced I would say he tried his best to show up as a partner in that “relationship” but I feel I couldn’t really expect so much as we were not officially together. Nonetheless the relationship itself was more fun than not, I really enjoyed our time together and it was healthy compared to my past relationship – I felt very comfortable with him and at ease whenever i’m near him or whenever we talked.
Relocation time came obviously, so I left – we agreed to be friends because he said he wanted to still be friends with me. More than 3 weeks passed and I get nothing from him, but I give it grace cause I know he does not really owe me anything – I also know him for how he is obviously so I considered those as well, ex: probably not hitting me up because he wants some space to really feel my absence.
Obviously i’m bothered by all this, but I don’t cave – Im sad yes but i’m trying to handle this better than how I would’ve in my past “break ups” – so I sit in silence with my thoughts which is worse for me, I feel I am usually the type to really let my feelings out but I am trying to accept things for how they are.
SOOOO to get to the point – I had to deal with a serious emergency that only he knows about because I have talked to him and only him about this before – of course I hit him up because I was really going through it – he answers and I know he would, I know he cares like I know he’s not gonna feel like i’m an inconvenience but I feel defeated in a way… like I’m not supposed to seek comfort in him anymore because he’s not my person – he says it’s okay of course because “that’s what friends are for” I get that but he was once more than that so it’s different..
BASICALLY – I wanna be honest with him and tell him how I feel but I know the answer I’ll get is not the answer i’ll want but i’m the type of person to let my feelings out. I don’t know what to do????