Advice needed(deeply regret saying yes)
Ugh need some insight
Well not really dating but long story short, yesterday I got a friend request out of the blue from a girl I hooked up with back when we were like 16..We both are 32 turning 33.
We just exchanged simple hey, been forever blahblah how have you been. (8:30pm)
She starts off, “Im okay, could be a million times better”, “how have you been”. (10:17pm)
“I’m good, just working lots and glad you’re doing okay and how so?” (10:40pm)
(12:52 am)
“Me and my ex just broke up and he’s in jail atm”
My expression 😳 in rl
Idk what do you even say to that? (Pretty obvious what she wants)
My reply (1:15am)
“Shitt, I’m sorry to hear that sounds rough”
Her reply (3:11 am)
“Yeah are you free tm? Wanna hangout”
My reply( I regret it already) She just sounds like trouble and I’m content right now and not interested in anything like a quick rebound.
Plus I’m just trying to sort my own life out and really don’t need someone like her right now.
But I’m a people pleaser and hate feeling like I’m rejecting her or something like FOMO. (Fear of missing out)
My dumb reply (10:52 am)
Yeah I’m free, until 8pm and tm..what do you got in mind? “(shot myself in the foot already)”
It’s 12:15 pm and no answer from her yet but I feel like a total dick now saying yes I’m available.
I don’t wanna hang out, so what should I say or do in this situation? Have you been in anything similar to this?
What is a good response without being “sorry I got a family thing, I’m not really interested and it seems like you got alot going on but it was good to hear from you”
I’ll feel like the not interested and seems like you got alot going on is just straight dick move after saying yes.
I’m stressing hard 😫
TL;DR: said yes to a past hookup and she just broke up with her bf who’s in jail and she seems just on the wild side now. How should I get out of this without being a total up front dick?
Comments
Be honest, tell her you’ve been thinking about it and it seems she needs some support during her difficult time but you’re not sure you’re the one to do it for her.
You could also ask what she’s looking for from you right now? (Other than wanting to hangout). If her answer doesn’t align with your life plans right now, say that.
Chances are you’ll end up continuing to say yes, investing in her via time and money, and might develop feelings from the constant proximity / sex that results.
Also why was he put in jail???
P.S. Please take care of your sexual health.