Okay so my aunt (F45) is the queen of “Oh my god I totally forgot” but somehow never forgets to ask for more money. Last month she begged me (F26) for $300 cause her fridge broke and she “couldn’t afford groceries.” I sent it even though I knew damn well how this would go.
Fast forward to now she just posted pics from her weekend trip to the beach. Fancy dinners new shades the whole thing. So I texted her “Hey glad u had fun! When u gonna pay me back for the fridge thing”
Cue the dramatic pause. Then “OMG sweetie I totally forgot! Things been crazy I’ll get u soon!” But here’s the thing she’s liked three of my IG posts since then and still ain’t sent a dime.
So I finally snapped and replied “Weird how u remember vacation pics but forget debts exist.” Now she’s telling the whole family I’m “rude” and “petty” and my mom says I should’ve “let it go” cause “family helps family.”
But like nah? AITA for not pretending anymore? Or should I just keep acting blind while she plays dumb
(PS: She just texted saying she’ll “get to me when she can” but then asked if I could “spot her” $100 for groceries. I left her on read.)
Comments
YTA for loaning money to someone that you knew would act like this.
>I sent it even though I knew damn well how this would go.
Yop.
That money’s gone now. Stop lending money to your aunt.
YTA not for wantin ur money back, but for how u handled it. A snarky public jab wasn’t necessary. You could’ve kept it direct amd respectful. Family or not, clear communication works better than sarcasm
I bet if you owed her $300 she’d remember down to the hour when you were supposed to send it. Why would you loan someone like that money?
ESH
YTA for making your beef with your aunt public.
Aunt is AH for being a sponge.
Stop loaning people money.
Show up on pay day with your hand out? Post her debts publicly as a response to her posts about her vacations and such. Let everybody me know she is having a good time while she owes you money. Use peer pressure to shame her. You are not the only one she has or is doing this to. Make it public and you will get your money and a bunch of flack but many will secretly be cheering you on bc they don’t have the spine to do the same.
NTA,You gave her $300 for groceries and not for a damn beach vacation you just stopped being her personal ATM.
The only mistake you’ve made was letting it go on this long—should’ve cut her off the first time she forgot.
Family did help family and it seems to be you’re the only one that sticks to that. So, you should, but nobody else should. Next time…sorry, not gonna do it.
Definitely would not be lending any more money. If she complains again about being rude, mention in front of witnesses that you were nice about reminding her the first dozen times, several months and she still didn’t repay you.
NTA. Hopefully you have finally learned the lesson not to lend money to someone you know damn well will never pay it back. “When she can” in your aunt’s book means “never and keep the tab open.”
ESH. Stop lending money to a flake.
NTA.
Continue to call her out and don’t give her another dime.
Nta. “Family helps family but not when that family is a sponge and does not pay debts.”
nta. don’t loan out money to people. even family sadly. she wants to ask for more money remind her EVERYTIME she asks, she still owes you money. hey can I borrow…??? hey can you pay back???? make sure to notate the debt borrowed date/amount add that little info every chance you get. if you keep reminding her of her debt when she asks for money, and telling her no, eventually she’ll stop bc she doesn’t want to be reminded of something she won’t pay back! 😂
Ha ha ha ha ha
“Family helps family”.
Come on, come up with some new cliches at least for these fake rage bait stories for heavens sake.
NTA. But never give her another cent. She’s repeatedly shown you who she is & how little respect she has for you. Like, she can’t even be bothered to come up with different excuses, she expects you all to fund her life whilst she blatantly lies to your faces. She never forget. ‘Sorry, due to a certain family member constantly lying that they’d pay me back, but never doing it, I now have a hard rule of not lending or giving money to people who refuse to pay it back. Thanks for teaching me that even family can be ungrateful moochers. Don’t ask me for money again, the answer will be no.”
I hate irresponsible people. Of course she has money for vacations but not to pay her debts.
I would comment on each and every social media posts about her vacation, etc., something like, “Glad you had a great time Auntie. I hope you didn’t use the money you begged me for for a new refrigerator to fund your vacation. And I hope you’ll be paying me back soon, at least before you take another trip, eat out at nice restaurants, buy yourself new clothes, etc.” Maybe public shaming will make her cough up what she owes. To be nice and for family harmony (mostly for your mom) tell her in the future if she’s in a bind you will consider loaning her money but you will never ever give her a dime if she still owes you from the last request. So in order to keep you helping out, she ALWAYS has to pay you back and until she does, the answer will always be NO.
How is every one of these BS posts. Mom says family helps family.
AI needs some new material
Never a lender or borrower be…
Updateme!
Start messaging her for ‘emergency’ money omg my car broke down I need an emergency $400 to get it fixed to get to work.
I fell ripped my outfit I need an emergency $50 for a new work skirt.
Start asking her and if she refuses tell all your family how she’s living it up whilst you’re suffering.
Keep doing it. She won’t ask you for money if she’s avoiding you.
NTA…although I definitely would have been because I would have
Included screenshots of her lame ass reasons for why she is begging for money as well as her excuses for not paying it back 💁🏼♀️
Tell her you’ll lend her $100 after she pays you the $300 + $100 I forgot fee.
Wow. Why am I surprised it’s an Aunt mooching?! If it was a nephew hitting up the Aunt for $$$ I wouldn’t blink an eye… but an Aunt….
$300 lesson. Cheap if you learn from it. Just simply close the atm. She already feels entitled to your money. Simply no without any explanation is best because it would get twisted. She’ll just be left with whining that you won’t bankroll her, which is hard to justify. Write off the past and enjoy the show
The Bank of OP should be permanently Closed to Auntie.
I’d forward the message to the ppl who say family should help family because it is obviously their turn.
NTA. I’ve learned that people love saying they’ll pay you back but not actually doing it. I was out at a bar with some friends, a buddy of mine and his girlfriend left without paying their tab (honest mistake, we usually have a drink and then play darts, we were regulars at the bar so they knew we didn’t need to be chased down). I handled it, was maybe $30 and I mentioned it to the friend just as a bit of a “hey man you totally forgot” moment, he asked how much it was and I told him not to worry, he insisted that he was going to pay me back, so I told him the amount.
He never paid me back or even mentioned it again.
Idk this maybe a cultural thing. I dont know what ethnicity you’re family is, but we would NEVER ask eachother for money. Matter fact we would have to be forced to accept it. Because this right here, spotting $ for basic human life and then they out partying creates resentment and anger.
Others are involved and taking sides. New rule for you, no more handouts. Everyone pays for their own lives.
NTA : you will be if you continue to fund her lifestyle
If your mom thinks you’re rude and petty, then direct the freeloading aunt to her every fucking time from now on.
And why are you, in your 20s, funding your 45 year-old aunt’s lifestyle ?
Ask you mom for 300 and promise you will pay back . Then you keep telling you will pay back when aunt does and family help family.
Just keep saying Family help family if she says no.
Reply with a laughing emoji and a reminder- Ok, for now you can give me only $200 and use the other $100 for groceries, then give it later😇
Tell mom there’s a cruise you wanna take but don’t have the Money so when is she gonna pony up that family help and pay for it
Family helps family fake post alert
Nta,
‘Mom if you want to be a free atm for her you do you, but I want my money back’,
FaMiLy is a funny Word when people always use this as an excuse to use you
People have no shame and will borrow money “for bills” while going to blow money on vices or vacations.
Been there and currently there myself with family.
Don’t send any money ever
YTA. Don’t lend money to family unless you’re willing to never see the money or the family again.
so you lent her $300 and you thought you could tell her how to spend it lol….the old rule goes if you lend money to family never plan on getting it back. Now I commend you on calling her out because what that has done is make it so she will never ask you again. good luck on getting re-paid i truly hope you do
NTA and tell your mom she can pay you back because she needs to help family!
Tell her you ain’t ever lending her a dime again until she pays you back. And if by chance she does pay you back, don’t ever lend her a dime again.
Consider it a $300 asshole removal charge.
NTA, but let it go. And let it be known, in no uncertain terms, that you will never lend her another fucking dime. Ever again. And if she ever thinks about asking, tell her to lose your number.
NTA
My standby is that I don’t loan more money until the previous loan is repaid. I only extend 1 loan at a time.
When I’m feeling petty, I’ll mention “Sorry uncle Ken, I gave aunt Joan $500 in March. I don’t have money to lend until that loan is repaid.”
Word will get around to aunt Joan very quick in my family.
Get yor $300,and tell her the loan bank is closed. Don’t enable her any longer.
NTA, any time that she asks for money tell her “due to the fact I have not been repaid the answer is no. I am not comfortable lending you more money while you owe me money.”
Now you know, it cost you 300$ to know to never loan money to her again.
The way I see these things you paid $300 to keep this kind of person out of your life. Sounds like you got off cheap.
Do not give this person any more money
From now on, every time she asks you for money, tell her you don’t have it and then ask her for the exact same amount.
“OP, can I borrow $100?”
“No, sorry Auntie, I don’t have it. I actually also need $100. Can you help me out since we’re family?”
Every time.
You should thank her for teaching you several very important life lessons for such a low price.
You can only do that, though, if you learn those lessons.
How that forget $300 and next time she ask just walk away don’t even bother to say anything , just ignore her
NTA.
NTA – but, my God, how often this is in every post I have had an aggrievance with “family helps family.” They don’t. Only a select few do, and the rest latch on and take advantage of that kindness. Don’t listen to them. You did right. But I would advise, anyone, to not loan out money to family because it is a good chance you’ll never get it back.
NTA – shes a full grown adult manipulating her family over money. Pathetic as fuck