We’ve been together for over 2 years, living in separate houses. It isn’t normal for me to turn up unannounced, but she’d had a few tough weeks with house chains falling through and it wasn’t normal to hear from her all day / get a good night text so thought it couldn’t hurt to check in on her.
I drove around 20 minutes to her house @ 10.30pm at night, knocked on the door / rang multiple times and got no answer. She said her phone was on DND, and she didn’t answer the door because was scared it was a random person.
I believed all this and have just got on with things, but then noticed she has downloaded the videos from ring and deleted them from her ipad.
The videos clearly show it’s me at the door, and she manually turned the alarm on as it doesn’t go on automatically with the ring floodlight.
After I left after 30 minutes of waiting around, she rang and went mental calling me a stalker. I totally understand if this was early in the relationship it’s odd, but to someone in a 2 year relationship and engaged to be married?
I’ve never had reason to question anything in the relationship, but now can’t think of a good reason as to why she’d lie about it apart from someone else being there?
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Eh this is a weird relationship.. I wouldn’t want it. I dunno man, maybe just ask her about why she lied?
Had to be this person but I am.
She had another man in there. I’d start popping up more often.
Yeah dude…
Its pretty weird of you to show up to her place at 1030 at night, banging on the door, ringing it multiple times, expecting her to be ready for you.
Engaged or not. Its weird to show up unannounced like this, especially if there is no heads up.
Just wondering where your head is at for the why you do it?
Do you do it because you want to catch her in the middle of something?
Most people would give a heads up about this sort of thing. Unless you live together, then there no need to warn when you are coming over.
But when its the other persons place, weird to just “drop in” and expect her to open the door like she was expecting you. Just basic decency to confirm “Can I stop by” before heading over. Especially when its late and they’re likely already done their bed time routine, getting ready to sleep.
Something about this story sounds off. Either she was hiding something from you. Or you’re way over the top and she’s hiding from you. Gives off intrusive and controlling vibes to show up unannounced late at night like this and banging on doors.
Both of you sound sketchy af.
I can understand not wanting someone to show up unannounced, even a fiancé. Sometimes when things are going wrong you just need a moment to yourself. What is wrong is her lying about knowing you’re there and then going off at you. The proper adult response to this is “hey, i appreciate you coming over but i just need sometime to myself rn, just can’t handle being around people atm.”. So worst case scenario, she had someone in the house and that explains the lying and overreaction. Best case scenario, she’s reacting very immaturely. I’m not sure how ring cameras work but you’re sure she downloaded them while you were there and not after you had left?
Do you have a ess to the ring app? It really does sound like she had someone else there.
Though, I am her age and a textbook introvert. If I had a tough week and it was late at night.. I really really would want to be left alone to recover from the bad week. If my partner was at the door I would opt to have an awkward conversation instead, but I could see why she would just hide from it, too.
Is this the kind of person you want to be married to? I mean this is BEYOND strange.
If my partner was banging the door down trying to ‘catch me in the act’ just because I didn’t text them back after a stressful day, they’d be my ex. You two don’t sound ready for marriage.
She’s deleting ring camera footage for a reason bro. Plus the calling you a stalker. Someone was there
What most would upset me is it’s like she waited for you to leave to in front of someone- say you look like a stalker. And the ring turning alarm on, part. I’d ask her face to face looking dead in the eye- why those 2 things occurred
You both sound odd.
I wonder if she had a guy over…
Something similar happened to me about 23yrs ago, and I called off the relationship then, and moved ahead. She probably had someone in the house. Most normal people should be happy to have their partner visit, especially if you are engaged. RUN!
Look man, the signs are obvious. Someone was there and she didn’t want you to know. Good luck and honestly I would move on from this relationship.
When your partner calls you a stalker there is nothing left. I’d guess she had someone over and didn’t want you to know. Move on.
You already know! Not sure why you’re posting this!
You guys are engaged and she got this sketched out over you coming over unannounced? I think she probably had someone there.
Are you baiting us with this? All signs are that someone else was there and it’s quite obvious. Question is: what have you done since the incident?
She didn’t answer the door because she knew it was you and she didn’t want you to find the other guy in her house.
I don’t see why every comment says it’s weird you just showed up. You hadn’t heard from her and was worried, i would that you not showing up would be weird. I understand needing a minute to yourself, but after 2 years being together, you can’t take 5 seconds to shoot a text saying so? I am curious if she did have company or not though.
Eeesh.
That’s, uh… dude.
That’s not good.
Someone else was there.
I’m guessing they were in her bed.
Your timing was bad but calling you a stalker? That would be enough for me right there….
Perhaps give a couple of weeks to herself…
I think its time to start referring to her as ex-fiance
Im curious, im Not one of those “oh shes definitely cheating” lads from reddit but how in the world are you Not seeing that she’s definitely cheating in you?
I mean…She’s Not letting you in, deleting the proof that you we’re there, calling you a Stalker…
unless you are in fact a Stalker and she doesnt know you guys are “engaged”
You know the answer. She had someone there. It’s obvious.
> but she’d had a few tough weeks with house chains falling through
What are “house chains”?
Bro, she had someone over. She didn’t answer because she told the guy she didn’t know you, or made it seem like youre just a friend and waited for you to leave. Then called you a stalker in front of the other guy to make her look good for him.
If it was me, I would do more investigating just to be sure. Turn up again, look for signs of someone else. Then dump her. I would want to know for sure, but even without this step, im 95% sure she is cheating.
Who’s gonna tell him??
She’s cheating.
You said yourself that itnot normal for you to turn up unannounced and that she has had a few tough weeks, so maybe she just wanted and needed some time to herself? She didn’t need you to think that it ‘wouldn’t hurt to check in on her’ and rock up at nearly 11pm, phoned constantly and hung around until well after 1130 and so on and so forth, because she hadn’t called you or text you goodnight on one day! You said you believed all this but you clearly didn’t because you checked her iPad etc and you realise that she is right about you after all! Why couldn’t you just leave it until the next morning? She is right about stalker thing and in fact it’s creepier that after 2 years you couldn’t have just left it alone until the next day.