I 19M had to break up with my girlfriend 21F of 4 years due to something I found out. We’ve been in a long distance relationship for the entire period and recently found out that she was being distant and didn’t think anything of it. A week later, I was speaking to her friend about a surprise I was planning for her when I found out she was out clubbing with two girls and a guy who she’d told me she had a “situationship” before we got together. I never heard this from her even though she tells me what she’s upto everyday. I asked her about this and she proceeded to get defensive and yell at me to spying on her even though I just wanted to know why she didn’t tell me this. I suspected something happened based on how she was acting and broke up with her and blocked her on all platforms. She was the girl I envisioned my future with now im devastated with what I have to do. I got a sms message from her asking to talk but I just can’t get myself to even see her. Im breaking down everyday just thinking about this. I don’t think ill ever able to move on. I’ve loved her more than anyone else but I my friends tell me I love what me and she were before not currently and that this will never go back to where it was. How will this ever go back to being how it was?
tl;dr: I (19M) broke up with my girlfriend (21F) of 4 years after she secretly went clubbing with a guy she had a past with. She got defensive when I asked about it. I ended things, but I’m heartbroken, and even though she wants to talk, I can’t face her. I loved her deeply and now feel completely lost.