I never usually come on reddit to talk about my feelings but I am genuinely at the point where I have no idea what to do with myself. I feel like my whole life is falling apart in front of me and there’s nothing I can do but watch.
It started about a year ago when I had no idea what I wanted to do at university, I was already resitting the year because my mum had breast cancer and I needed to take care of her. Now that I know I want to move out and what I want to do, it’s already too late because I can’t go to the unis my parents would let me move out for like London because it’s way too unlikely to get in through cleaning (the only offer I have is my hometown) and I’ve just kinda accepted defeat.
l am never usually the type to ask for help but I am 19 years old and I feel so so insignificant in everyone’s lives. I’ve been done so dirty countless times this year by people I thought would never do me like that. I am writing this now after my best friend has cut me off telling me that I had apparently spoken badly about her, she won’t tell me what I “said” or told her, just that she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I should add, I don’t really have many friends, I’ve barely left my house this summer and my only friend is my mum, who I think is also starting to get sick of me. This just adds to the reason of why I want to leave so badly.
I haven’t really struggled with my mental health since her diagnosis but now I feel like I’m in a slum that I can’t really get out of. I feel like I’m stuck, no friends and inevitably no chance at an escape to another city through clearing, it kinda feels like a sense of impending doom but just constant. I just want to be put out of my misery. I am so tired. It’s so embarrassing too, big 19 and I am crying on reddit because I can’t make friends and for once in my life I don’t have a solution. I feel like a loser.
If anyone has any advice that would be nice, although I can’t imagine my situation is fixable at all. Thank you for reading.
Comments
It’s okay to feel lost and overwhelmed your feelings are valid. Try to reach out to someone you trust or a counselor, even small steps help. You’re not alone, and things can get better. I’m here if you need to talk.
I felt just like you when I was 19. Hang in there, you’re going to look back on this years from now and be so proud about how far you’ve come and will want to hug 19 year old you. I know that doesn’t sound very helpful in this present moment, but trust that things will get better over time as you do little things to challenge yourself and your current reality day by day. You haven’t even started your life yet.
I’m 19 too and going through an insane and hard time in my life. All I will say is reach out for help, talk to someone. It helps TREMENDOUSLY. If it weren’t for my therapist I have no idea how much worse my mental health would’ve been. At the same time, I promise you, this isn’t the end of the world. It’s also not the end of your life. Being 19 is confusing and hard on its own. With hardships added on top of it it feels worse. Just take things one day at a time, find yourself, and give yourself grace. You got this, I believe in you.
I feel you, don’t get stress out, relax. do you have any other family members to take care mum if you move out? anyone you can talk about? everything will be get better with time.