I hate my ex-best friend. We were friends for about two years, and it all started after she ditched her old friends (the first red flag, tbh). She’s younger than me by a year, skinnier, and more social than me. she was the type of girl to whine about how fat she was every time i was around knowing damn well I was struggling with my own weight.
She’d always complain how she was so “poor” and couldn’t afford things and had the nerve to ask me for money multiple times or hint that I should do things for her always putting me in the position where I had to give. But being her best friend i understood her and i did give in.
Never once did she invite me to her place, even though I asked so many times. Yet she was at my house all the time, eating, sleeping, living off my hospitality. I lent her clothes and jewelry..stuff I never saw again. Ever….:/
She was really two faced but would never admit to it if i ever brang anything up.She would talk HORRIBLY or gossip about people but would hang out with them the very next day and top it off with “i had to “ or “we were working together” especially people who had done me wrong in the past. WHICH SHE KNEW ABOUT!
when school started again she started to hang out with other “popular” people and started to be more on their side, she’d post about me on her main story every time we had a disagreement saying how i was such a bad friend and wait for someone to ask her about it for an opportunity to talk bad about me.
The final straw came in December. She told me the Christmas gift budget was €30, but when it came time to exchange, she barely spent €10 on me while I went all out for her. I called her cheap, and she lost it. she started telling me exactly what she thought of me and cut me off like I was some random stranger. (because she knew she had found other new friends)
The next day she broke into my locker at school, left the gift bag i gave her with rubbish in it, and left the locker wide open. She didn’t just end things she made it a mission to make me look bad and it’s been like that since then.She went around convincing everyone in our year that I was a bitch and a “bad person” I didn’t even get a chance to speak up because, yeah I’m kinda shy, and no one even asked me for my side.
What really fucks with me now is that I loathe her. She’s out there living her best life (from what i can tell) while I’m stuck dealing with all the shit she put me through. It’s honestly infuriating. I feel this jealousy in my bones, and it’s so goddamn unfair. When I see her or hear anyone talk about her, I get this horrible, tight feeling in my chest, and I genuinely go dizzy. I’ve blocked her on every social platform but sometimes i still catch myself unblocking her and seeing what she’s up to which always ends up by me getting upset lmfao.
Now that i think ab it , it seems like i was a temporary friend for her until she found other people and it’s genuinely driving me insane. I hate her so much dude. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Comments
No matter how upset and torqued you get about someone or their actions, all the hatred and ugliness in the world won’t change someone who is not in your life, but it will certainly taint yours. You need to take a good look at why you are so invested in going out of your way to hate on someone
That’s really rough. You deserve better focus on healing and moving on.
Holding on to hate is like drinking poison hoping it will kill the other person.
Look to your own life and live it well. Easy to say, it takes practice to do, but it’s worth it.
Her life only looks good from the outside. The thing is, people like this act this way towards everyone who gets close to them. She will screw others over eventually too. You are on the better side of the fence for losing her as a friend. It might not seem that way right now, but things do get better over time. It’s okay to be upset over how she treated you. At least you’re acknowledging how angry it makes you. The goal should be to get to a place where you don’t care as much. The two best ways to do that are to understand your best qualities and personal beauty and to just give this time to play out. It will get better and the people who are worth being in your life will see you for who actually are, not what someone else says about you
I get that you are angry at her, but look at the situation for what it is, a fake person has [dramatically] exited your life. You have been and remained sincere and you can hold your head up knowing you treated her like a friend. Often people like that are filled to the brim with insecurity and it’s only after years that they realise how poorly they treated others (if they are lucky enough to heal). Just keep that in the back of your mind and remember that because you are sincere, the people who like you for you will always find you. So don’t worry 🙂
When someone has screwed you over, it is easy to feel that loathing. I suspect that your loathing is on steroids because deep down, you knew she wasn’t a good person, and you stuck with her anyway. Part of you loathing her is you loathing yourself that let her get away with crap against others.
This post resonates with me because a former group of “friends” of one of my teens, all of whom bounced between fakely nice and cruel, went after my kid with vicious rumors (lies) in their game to ruin people. That’s what mean girls do. They make a game out of hurting people, and sadly, there are many suckups who believe the lies or don’t believe them but kiss up anyway. It is hard to be on the receiving end of vicious bullying that gets parents involved in the cruelty (and some parents are truly as dumb as a box of rocks when it comes to their kids). My kid had three good friends stick by her, thankfully. One, however, has gone through some serious mental issues after getting dumped before prom by a graduating senior who used her for sex. She continued to throw herself at him, and then she went on a Tinder spree. After my kid told her that having sex with strangers wasn’t going to fix her broken heart, the gal got angry and decided to make nice with the bullies who made my kids’ past year hell. The gal has apparently gone out of her way to tell the bullies how funny and pretty they are. It is hard to respect someone who butt sucks for popularity, but she unfortunately isn’t atypical. Many people don’t have a moral compass, which is disappointing.
You can spend the next month or year being angry and letting that anger consume your time and energy. The problem with that approach is that your anger is not going to win you any popularity points, and such anger isn’t going to make you a better person. You being chronically anger let’s the b-witch win. Mean girls do things for “power,” and making you angry and hurt is one form of their power.
This hopefully doesn’t sound cliche, but you are at your most powerful when you aren’t affected by the presence of the mean girls. When they can lob things in your direction, and you are like “whatever.” That’s power for you.
You don’t say how long you’ve been holding onto this anger, but if I were in your shoes, I would give yourself a deadline to hate internally on the person. Like say to yourself, “I’m going to spend the next hour or two getting out all of my anger about [name of BFF] and her sucky friends.” Get all of that venom out. Speak it to yourself or write it on a piece of paper that no one else has access to and burn it. Or talk it out with a therapist or counselor. Then focus on you and your inner peace. All of that negative energy you have? Flip it to good. Think about the things that you do well or traits that make you special. Is it your honesty? Is it that you are great at math, basketball, or sewing? Do some deep breathing exercise to get rid of the negative energy and breathe in positivity. Think about the things you love or the ideals you cherish. There is a bigger world out there than school. What are you going to do in it? You can use your energy for something good. Maybe volunteer at a pet shelter or help make sandwiches for the homeless. Get an internship to jump start a future career. Take all of that blow torch energy and use it for good – focusing on good will benefit you and your community. It won’t change your ex-BFF, but you can’t change her. She will be part of your past as you look toward a better future.
It’ll go away, she’s not living her best life. If she was she wouldn’t treat people like that. Your best move here is to act unbothered and live YOUR best life.
I agree with the posts earlier than me and have upvoted each one.
Op, your ex best friend was not a friend at all. She was a leach and makes no effort to be a nice person. You will run across many of these in life. Take what you have learned and tuck it away,,, consider it tuition to the School of Hard Knocks.
Now for that anger! You are carrying a very heavy load, feeling angry every day, all day and probably at night too. She isn’t carrying that same load, I promise.
The way around this is called forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you make friends with her again. It doesn’t mean that you forget how she treated you. In fact you shouldn’t forget. It means that you acknowledge that she is who she is, there is nothing that you can do about it. You would not be forgiving her sake, you are still holding her accountable, but rather you are forgiving her for your sake. It means that you refuse to carry that weight any more. It means that you refuse to allow her to live rent free in your brain. Yes Op, your ex friend is a leach and not my a very nice person. Please let go of that and she will receive her just do. This isn’t easy to do but you can get it done. Best of luck
SOURCE: spent 10 years of my life with this kind of anger.
I’m not gonna tell you to just get over it because that’s not how it works. When you hate someone so much to the point it affects your life like this, you are giving them power. It sounds cliché; but it’s the truth. She is living “rent free” in your mind.
The best revenge IS leveling up. Learning from the experience. Finding better friends, taking care of yourself and your goals. Who cares if she has a “good life”? I know many people that have “good lives” but they are very unhappy with themselves and have deep insecurities. I don’t know a single person that only ever goes through good phases in life. Everybody gets hit with a curveball here and there. It’s impossible to be 100% happy 100% of the time. And this very much applies to her.
Practice centering yourself in your thoughts and daily life. Decenter her. Avoid people who constantly talk about her. The truth always comes out in the end in some way. You know your truth. Find peace with that. These weirdos at your school are not the entire world. And one day they’ll mean nothing but a spec in your memory
“She’d always complain how she was so “poor” and couldn’t afford things and had the nerve to ask me for money multiple times or hint that I should do things for her always putting me in the position where I had to give. But being her best friend i understood her and i did give in.”
I think the lesson to learn here is that you need to have better boundaries. You weren’t even a temporary friend. This girl was never your friend at all. She was taking advantage of you the entire time and using the label of “friend” to get you to do what she wanted.
Stop unblocking her. Don’t think about her. If she comes up in conversation, just say, “I’m not interested in hearing about her, can we change the subject?”
Going forward, establish better boundaries with your friends. Some of them will get mad, but that’s ok because that shows you they were also using you.