A couple of days ago I (41m) was hosting a cookout in my backyard when my gf’s (35f) brother (37m) showed up. I’ve met him before and he always seemed cool, but as it being July in Southern Oregon and hotAF, he took his shirt off and jumped in the pool, the problem wasn’t any of that, it was his Tattoos…
On his back is a massive Aryan Eagle holding a Swastika with the words Blut Und Ehre crowning it and SS lightning bolts trailing down his ribs. My initial thoughts were ” Fuck Nazis!” And “Fuck This!”. So I yelled ” Get the fuck out of my pool, and get the fuck out of my house!” Then I dropped my grill tongs, jumped into the pool and dragged him out by his shoulder. I made sure to not be too rough with him but I wasn’t gentle either. Im 5’8, 200 lbs and a former military officer with extensive hand to hand training
Now my girlfriend is telling me that I was wrong for ruining the vibe, and that I should have shown her brother a little more respect than just dragging his nazi ass out of my pool and kicking him out over something that’s ” in his past”. The way I see it is If its in his past he’s had ample time to get those tattoos covered up. He recently got out of prison, and while I have my own issues with the American prison industrial complex, I have no sympathy for nazis and Im not going to apologize for kicking out a nszi, but I am wondering if i was wrong for how I did it, I didn’t even give him the chance to gather his shit, I basically started yelling ” Awww Fuck Naw!” And physically forced him out of my house. So AITA for how I treated him, and on a separate note… if I’m not, should I break up with her for sympathizing with a Nazi, even if it is her brother?
Update: I talked to my family and friends, who were firmly in the “dump her ass” category. Ive broken it off. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who will invalidate my entire existence by siding with a nazi cunt
Comments
You’re not the asshole for kicking a Nazi out of your house – your home, your rules, especially when it comes to hateful symbols. Could you have handled it with less force? Maybe. But honestly, most people would say you did what a decent person should.
As for your girlfriend… that’s a bigger issue. If she’s defending that, you might want to rethink the relationship. That’s not just “family loyalty” – that’s tolerating hate.
Fake and reported
“my girlfriend is telling me that I was wrong for ruining the vibe”
Yeah, dude, there was a little sun, a little BBQ, a little swimming, a little Aryan Nation, and you ruined it! Hope this isn’t fake because this is a great story!
NTA and it sounds like you handled it the best way possible; harshly but not violently. If it’s in his past he wouldn’t be so keen to show it off. He could easily have talked to you first to let you know the situation and ask if it’d be ok for him to go shirtless being a private residence or if you could lend him something to cover it. Or even ask his sister to talk to you for him before he came.
Swim/athletic shirts are in every store these days and not so uncommon as to be suspicious if you wear one. Less easy to find but there are also bandages specifically for covering tattoos. There are plenty of artists who cover hate/gang tattoos free and laser clinics who offer discounts and it’s well known among artists and people in those groups. If he wants to keep it for some reason with no problem showing it off, it’s a bad reason. And your gf is either incredibly naive or a sympathizer if she didn’t foresee an issue.
I hope you talk with them and update us
That’s my biggest fear right now; it’s that she’s either too naive to see why this is wrong, or that she’s actually okay with it. I’m, ethnically, a white-passing Mexican Jew. ( for those reading this who don’t know, the diaspora went everywhere, even Mexico). And I refuse to entertain people who hate me and my family.
Was dude a nazi before prison? Or did he just adjust to his environment in prison to avoid physical abuse? This is worth knowing.
She would be wise to stay away from THE ARYAN BROTHERHOOD…….
NTA. Sure you could have handled it better but you didn’t. My ex and I kinda handled a similar situation in a like way when my son started hanging out with some of them types, and he was renting the other unit of our duplex. My son didn’t share the beliefs and they weren’t hard core but I knew who they were and some things they had done around our small town. My ex got a buddy of his that had been a part of the Aryan community once, and they just went in and hauled them out and told them never return. My son protested but too bad, so sad, we don’t deal with that crap.
NTA. I’m retired military, too and I would have acted the same way.
Lose the GF. If she’s ok with that kind of crap she’s gots ta go.
How about next time just tell him to keep his shirt on?
How about next time just tell him to keep his shirt on?
I think the first step should’ve just been asking/telling him to leave. I understand your reaction though.
NTA. That is awful and I agree you don’t want to be associated with a family who support murderers.
He’s proud of that ink. Otherwise, he would never take his shirt off, no matter how hot it is. And his sister’s either lying to herself or she’s stupid. However, I’m thinking she knows what her brother is and just doesn’t care.
FUCK THAT NAZI
NTA. Too many people look the other way. Your girlfriend is not her brother, of course, but if she’s defending his Nazi ass then yeah, she’s gotta go.
You know very well. You’re not the ass. The minute you saw those tattoos it was literally eye pollution for every person there and a huge insult. If anyone there happened to be of German descent or Jewish faith, it is so sad that there are people who still do things like that. I have no problem with tattoos but you know what he could have found a way to cover it up if he really wanted to and if he did want to cover it up and not let people see it he shouldn’t have taken his shirt off. He could have cooled off with his shirt on a lot of people’s swim of the shirt on. He’s proud of it and he was showing it off and I am amazed. You were as restrained as you were and quite honestly being that the girlfriend sister of this piece of trash wants to defend him. Yeah absolutely. She needs to be right out the door with him. Anything done defending that piece of crap is in support of what those tattoos show and I wouldn’t have tolerated it for a heartbeat
Period.
He took his shirt off on purpose, not just because he was swimming.
NTA he made his choices, he can face the consequences of those choices. This is one. Does your gf know that if there is one Nazi at the table, and nine people sitting with it don’t say anything, that there are ten Nazis sitting at the table?
My man. You are SO MUCH NTA. More people should be like you
Fuck that, fuck him, and fuck her too. Nta, no graciousness for nazis.
The only benefit of a doubt i can say. Maybe thats how he survived in jail. If he actually believes that stuff the so nta.
He did it deliberately. If its in the past already he shld not have taken his shirt off or jump on the pool.
Good you broken up with her and thank you for your service.
At least you found out about him before he became you brother in law. Zero tolerance towards Nazis should be normal
YTA
From what you said he did nothing wrong while at your house. Your first step should’ve been asking him to cover up his tattoos. If he had refused then ask him to leave and escalate if he refuses. The way you handled this does make you an AH.
Remember that he is still her brother. If you want a future with this woman then you will have to learn to be civil with him because he will always be present at her family gatherings. You have shown that you are not capable of being civil.
Not only were you not the AH, you may have helped someone else there. If he was ashamed of his past and couldn’t afford to cover them, he should have behaved like the shamed and kept them covered.
Exactly.
Can I ask how you guys determine whether these stories are real or not. Like this one screams liberal wet dream to me but curious why it seems legit to you
When I saw Southern Oregon that told me all I needed to know
YTA for not immediately breaking up with a Nazi
Good for you. Fuck Nazis, and Nazi sympathizers.