Worried about low libido

r/

I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend for a little over two years. Early on in the relationship, he told me that he has a low libido and isn’t as into sex as most men, which I actually find to be true. In fact, he was worried that he wouldn’t have enough “fire” for me, since I really liked having sex… Despite that, in the beginning things were very 🔥 — his ex didn’t like to have sex, so he sort of “discovered sex” with me. Back then we didn’t live together, but whenever he came over, we’d have sex.

Around a year into the relationship we moved in together, started having sex less often but still with a decent frequency, about 3 times a week on average. I remember I still wanted it more. Now we go weeks without having sex… and the worst part is, I don’t even miss it much. He really does have a considerably low libido, but even so, he manages to miss it more than I do and brings it up more often… I don’t understand what’s going on. I feel like I have no attraction to anyone, and I was never like this.

My last relationship only lasted a few months for other reasons, but while it lasted, it was pure fire. Even with my current boyfriend, it was like that in the beginning. I used to look at other people and feel attracted, people would catch my eye (I’m bi), but now it’s very rare… I don’t know what’s happening. I’m not on any birth control (when I was, I did feel the difference in my libido, it was way lower)…

Has anyone been through this? What I can do to start wanting it more often?

TL;DR: I (25F) used to like having sex a lot and would feel attracted to other people, now I barely miss it…

Comments

  1. kl281 Avatar

    Honestly, if you aren’t depressed or anxious (clinically not just you thinking you are) then I would get your estrogen levels checked out. Same thing for him and his testosterone. That being said, people just grow up and don’t care about sex as much. It happens, but not as much as you are describing so I would look into health related issues. Also, have you started to have a much more stressful life or have you gained a lot of weight or lost a lot of weight recently? Those could play a role as well. Sorry I can’t be of more help haha.