We got engaged and bought our first home this year. It has been a beautiful, but simultaneously stressful year. There have been a few unexpected financial surprises since moving into our first home, which has created a lot of added stress for the both of us. I think the root of the problem is how unhappy he is within his career. It has truly started seeping into our personal lives and gotten to the point where I feel miserable too. Today our dishwasher broke and I think this was his final straw. He was getting upset saying he couldn’t wait for us to sell this house and then I said “well where would we go, what would we do?” To which he replied, “I’ll hang myself in the basement.” He then proceeded to go on about killing himself. In the past he has talked about suicide but never with a plan and never like this. It just feels different because he’s been constantly depressed for months now. He refuses to go to therapy and I just don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to talk to his mom and let her know what’s going on, but I don’t know if that would just upset him more and betray his trust in me. I am running out of anything to give at this point. I am usually an optimistic, light and very happy person but I feel like his depression is killing me too. I hate to see the man I love so much in pain. Any advice is greatly appreciated
My Fiancé is suicidal and I don’t know what to do
r/Advice
Comments
First off, sorry you’re going through this. It’s a very difficult position to be in.
This is a helpful resource from 988 on ways to help someone other than yourself. https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/
If you’re in the US, you can also call/text 988, even about someone else. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7/365.
Aw man that is so hard. I think having you in his life helps him so much, but it does put pressure on you. Are you guys able to get away and do something fun? Even if it’s just a day, maybe bonding over a fun memory will help. Or maybe it will end you both emoting and getting things off your chest.
Are you in the US? He needs to go to the ER. This is a 911 emergency just like a heart attack.
He needs to be assessed for suicidal risk by a mental health professional. You can go to the ER or call a behavioral health hospital in your area to see if they can do an immediate assessment.