I am a 17 year old male with a girlfriend who is also 17 who I have been dating for about 6 months. He parents have historically liked me and had a bunch of trust in us. To preface, I was fully clothed and she had a bra and underwear on and when he walked in I was kissing her stomach. I was told to immediately leave and so I did. I need some help on how to navigate this difficult situation, and thought i could get it here. We do not have sex nor do we plan to anytime soon, Thank you for any help.
GF Dad walked in On us messing around
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You were in a compromising position and you left as he asked and probably good on you as he probably wanted to tear you in two. I would suggest only talk to her on the phone for a few days to let things calm down and then depending on the parents and gf maybe have a sit down conversation and explain you are not planning things to move further. It is a tough time for parents too!!!
Best to give him some space in my opinion. Maybe apologize if you can. Even if you did nothing wrong it still upset him and best not to make it worse. You and your girlfriend are both old enough to understand and make decisions and y’all might want to bring that up. Just communicate with him. he might explain some boundaries he wants, just be respectful you didn’t do anything bad.
What does your girlfriend say about this? I’m sure her parents have spoken to her about this, what have they said? I think I would start there.
I never was in a situation where I was caught but I HAVE walked in on my child, which is just as bad. I was mortified and I know they both were too. I took her home and just told him that I was being respectful of him and that I felt I deserved the same from him. His dad put a lock on his door and maybe that sounds counterintuitive but it needed to be understood that respect goes both ways, I honestly never wished for him to feel like he had no sense of security, that’s not the goal of a parent. I actually never had a conversation with his girlfriend about anything, I dealt straight with my son, she was embarrassed enough and I knew that. It never happened again.
So, what I’m saying is just that the first conversation is going to need to be between your girlfriend and her folks. Just as my son’s girlfriend never had a conversation with me, you may not need to do so with hers, just start with what transpires between them, you know? Then go from there. If they decide that they want to discuss it, I think what you’ve said here is probably what they are going to want to hear, but I’d wait before volunteering anything because believe me, they have their own feelings about this. They may be trying to sort out what it is they do feel.
This feels like a right of passage. I was the gf in the situation. My dad walked out, waited a few mins, then yelled for my bf to come out and fix his computer. They both pretended it never happened.
You disrespected her father in his own house. Gonna be real hard to go back on that. Good luck.
You and your girlfriend did nothing wrong. You do not owe her father an explanation or an apology. It is for her to work out with her parents, and you should stay out of it. He’s very upset with her and it may take time for them to be able to talk, but that’s ok.
Oh yeah I’ve been there u ganna be looked as the dude that just messing around with his daughter and nothing else he probably
Will hate you for as long as your around but his daughter probably will keep u around for a bit till u both move on or get more serious then he will get over it
Just let it pass. They’ll let it go eventually. A lot of us have been there. You don’t need to talk to him about it, regardless, that’s a discussion for your GF and them. You’re both 17, you’re going to act like 17 year olds.
The reality is the that if she ends up pregnant her parents are the ones that will have to deal with the consequences. What are your intentions. Have you bought condoms. You are too immature to have sex if you are unwilling to buy your own condoms. What are your plans if she becomes pregnant? Do you want to be married before having children? Diapers are over $1,000 per year. Depending on where you live daycare is $700 – $2,500 per month. What are your plans for your life? These are the things you need to think of before even having sex because accidents happen.
You have to handle this very carefully and for starters you should offer your sincere apologies to her parents for overstepping their boundaries and in their home. Hopefully they will forgive you and you will be able to continue your relationship with their daughter.
broooo. we were all there once. you gotta look him in the eye when you eventually see him again and you get the talk. eye contact, firm handshake, try to keep some self-respect about you, but remember to not challenge him in his own house. you’ll be more careful next time, that’s for fuckin’ sure.
You’re a fool. Never get busted. It’s over.
Yeah I’m going to say, this is normal for her dad to get upset. My dad did, when I had a pregnancy scare, when I was 17, from my ex. Thankfully I wasn’t. We were together for about a 1 year and half. It’ll blow over. I feel you’ve got very much respect for your girlfriend and her parents. I’m sure her dad will be ok and he’s totally protective over his daughter. Completely normal. You’re doing the right thing, about talking with her dad later on. That’s being very respectful.
Ask to talk to him man to man. Apologize for what happened under his roof. Tell him things got carried away far beyond what began innocently enough. Then tell him what you’ve told us. You haven’t and don’t plan on taking it to the next level anytime in the foreseeable future. Hopefully he’ll be rational and maybe get her prepared for the eventuality of avoiding negative consequences should/when she does take it there with or without you. Life’s pretty predictable on this. If he’s supportive and understanding you could be in for a long wait. If he clamps down, he’s setting himself up to be thoroughly disappointed in her very soon. I chose to be supportive of my daughter who I single parented and things went a lot smoother. I’m the one she turns to now for everything. But I’m getting way off topic. Just do what I said at the beginning of this and I’m pulling for you. You sound like a decent guy. Good luck.
The important thing to understand here is that this is ultimately an issue between her and her parents. The best thing you can do is to do absolutely nothing. As a 17 year old dating another 17 year old, you do not need to apologize for being physical with your girlfriend, period. You do not need to clarify your intentions as others have suggested. Her parents will get over it. They are very likely more angry with their daughter than they are with you.
If you feel like you simply must say something, limit it to just saying that you respect them and would never hurt their daughter.