So I (33M) have a wife (32F) who is a big fan of Coldplay. It’s literally on her bucket list to go to a concert of theirs. Well, her birthday is coming up and her brother offered to take her to an upcoming concert in Miami that Coldplay is putting on with their current tour. He said all we had to do was buy her plane ticket and he would handle the rest. Concert ticket, hotel stay and most of the food (she would buy anything extra she wanted which we were both fine with). However, as time went on and we tried to find out when to buy the plane ticket, he kept coming up with more and more excuses as to why he couldn’t get everything handled and planned. Eventually, we realized he was just too proud to admit he couldn’t actually afford the trip which not only bummed my wife out because she was lied to but also, and more importantly, because she wasn’t going to see the show she wanted to see. I even helped participate in surprising her with the trip by giving her an early birthday gift that was a T-Shirt I ordered that had lyrics from her favorite Coldplay song on it. Here’s where I may be the asshole: I found a VOD of a livestream of the full show from this same tour that happened about a month ago and I was going to surprise her on her birthday by not only having the house deep cleaned for her birthday but also taking the kids and basically making sure she didn’t have to do anything at all for the entire day. Then, once I got the kids in bed, I would present her with a pair of (admittedly homemade) tickets to a “concert” in our living room where I would play her the concert she didn’t get to see. I ran it by a friend of mine and he told me that may make her more bummed because it’s a reminder of what she missed out on. So WIBTA if I did this?
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So I (33M) have a wife (32F) who is a big fan of Coldplay. It’s literally on her bucket list to go to a concert of theirs. Well, her birthday is coming up and her brother offered to take her to an upcoming concert in Miami that Coldplay is putting on with their current tour. He said all we had to do was buy her plane ticket and he would handle the rest. Concert ticket, hotel stay and most of the food (she would buy anything extra she wanted which we were both fine with). However, as time went on and we tried to find out when to buy the plane ticket, he kept coming up with more and more excuses as to why he couldn’t get everything handled and planned. Eventually, we realized he was just too proud to admit he couldn’t actually afford the trip which not only bummed my wife out because she was lied to but also, and more importantly, because she wasn’t going to see the show she wanted to see. I even helped participate in surprising her with the trip by giving her an early birthday gift that was a T-Shirt I ordered that had lyrics from her favorite Coldplay song on it. Here’s where I may be the asshole: I found a VOD of a livestream of the full show from this same tour that happened about a month ago and I was going to surprise her on her birthday by not only having the house deep cleaned for her birthday but also taking the kids and basically making sure she didn’t have to do anything at all for the entire day. Then, once I got the kids in bed, I would present her with a pair of (admittedly homemade) tickets to a “concert” in our living room where I would play her the concert she didn’t get to see. I ran it by a friend of mine and he told me that may make her more bummed because it’s a reminder of what she missed out on. So WIBTA if I did this?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action: playing a concert for my wife that she didn’t get to attend. Why it might make me the asshole: I don’t know if sure would be more upset about not being able to go if I did this.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I think it’s a nice gesture and it’s the thought that counts. I’d consider this a nice birthday present even if I didn’t get to go. It’s a possibility it would bum her out but I think she understands you can’t make everything happen that was originally planned. You would NBTA
You would not be the asshole. This is thoughtful and caring and sweet. We don’t know your wife. She might be bummed, or she might see it as an act of love.
I think it’s a sweet gesture. NTA
NTA, but if you can then go BIGGER! Do you have a yard? Get a huge sheet and rent a projector so you can run the concert on a big screen for her, just the 2 of you with “front row tickets”. It would be a ridiculously sweet date night!
Ummm… NO!? Your friend is stupid. Do it. DOOO ITTT. Omfg. That’s so thoughtful, she’s going to feel so appreciated that she won’t even care she’s not there in person.
YWNBTA. This sounds like an incredibly sweet thing to do. If my husband did something like this for me I would love it.
If I was her and I couldnt go, I think this would be a sweet thing for my man to do to try and make me feel better. It won’t be the same obviously but if it was me it would make me feel better just having someone care so much and try for me.
To me this sounds like a super thoughtful gift that shows you care about your wife’s interests and making the magic happen for her, even if it is homemade. The deep cleaning the house is also a nice touch!
Absolutely NTA. This is sweet and loving, and very creative! This would make my month if my SO did this. AND i recognize that every woman is different. She’s your wife. You know her best. If you think she’ll love it, do it!
i think this is really sweet and i hope she would thoroughly enjoy the effort you are putting in for her. i could see how this may bring up those feelings of disappointment and may even make her a bit sad but at the end of the day you are trying to right a wrong and thats all anyone can ask for. overall i think it all depends on her general attitude. maybe throw in a nice bottle of wine or a joint so everyone is nice and relaxed!
YWNBTA that’s really sweet! make sure the tickets are clearly homemade haha
i think just be prepared for the chance she might be bummed and not want to watch it and have a backup movie or something planned just in case! but my guess is she’ll love it!
NTA!!! I would cry so hard if I was her. I would be grateful to you for taking the time to think about planning something like this. This is very sweet. Get her her favorite meal/drink/snacks and she’ll never forget it. My goodness! So freaking adorable 🥰
Honestly? Fucking legendary
NO WAY! This sounds very thoughtful and wonderful. Your friends don’t seem to have any emotional intelligence.
YWNBTA, this is adorbs.
NTA! That is awesome and so thoughtful! One of these days she will see them live, but having you and the concert in front of her will be awesome.
SWOOOOOOOON
she will absolutely melt and will never forget it, you have to do it
I say NTA but honestly, ask her how she would feel about. You don’t have to give details, but you can kind of poke around to see how she feels about streams versus live. Or worst case, ask one of her best friends to get a feel for it. But I don’t think it would make you an a-hole. And any emotions she has over the situation, while valid, should be directed at the brother.
NTA added touch would be to have “security” ID her and give her a wristband (equally homemade) and don’t forget a tall boy canned beverage to complete the experience!
Honestly, I think it’s super sweet and thoughtful of you!!
YWNBTA that’s honestly genius and thoughtful!
You’re good. Better than I have ever come up with. The worst first marriage ever and combat related issues left me unemotional. So just remember some of us can’t feel love like you do.
This is sooo sweet!! Go for it!!!
I think this is sweet af
No, this is amazing! DO IT!!
NTA. I think that’s a lovely gift idea. Very thoughtful. Hopefully your wife appreciates it.
That’s amazing. Do that.
Edit: NTA
This really depends on the person, and only you know your wife. I can see this being very sweet and romantic, but I know people who would only see this as a reminder of not being able to actually go.
That’s so sweet. The whole thing is well thought out, and honestly I’d be really touched. If you can’t take her to a Coldplay concert then this is a really nice plan to help ease that disappointment. Personally, having the whole house deep cleaned is a dream in my world so maybe I’m biased but, NTA.