BF M/27 and I F/28 have been living together and dating for the past 3 years.
Never had any real problems , he doesn’t put his hands on me or cheat on me and we’re generally happy.
When we first got together he used to not only post a shout-out on his main page for me for birthdays, Valentine’s, and holidays ECT. But he would also be sure to gas me up if I posted a selfie or what have you.. I enjoyed being loved this way and he suddenly stopped.
He stopped commenting on my pictures ,and hasn’t made a post about me for mother’s day or my birthday or anything of the like since 2022. This didn’t really start to bother me much until recently-ish.
I’m kind of what you would call “chronically online” and my boyfriend is kind of not. He doesn’t post much,period. Not that he isn’t scrolling and interacting all day ,with the rest of us .. But he doesn’t post much at all. Maybe 3 posts a month on average.
I know this sounds trivial and stupid ,and I agree to an extent, if I’m being honest .
Basically we’re kind of in a rut.. we don’t argue .. we don’t do much of anything really. When we’re not both working, he’s spending most of the day on his video game and I’m just next him scrolling and chatting every so often.
He tells me loves me in person.. he tells me how pretty I am in person, but it pretty much ends there .
I’m the primary breadwinner in the household and most if not all of his money goes to me and bills so he never has anything to give on valentines and birthdays and Christmas. This isnt a bother to me. I’m not materialistic. My love language is acts of service and words of admiration. He knows this. .
This past year so far we’ve celebrated both our birthdays and had Valentine’s day.
For his birthday I made a big post about him on Facebook with handpicked photos from our whole relationship and a video college I made with our song playing. I made him a big gushy post and wished him happy birthday.. he liked the post and that was it.
Our birthdays are a week apart and on my birthday , not only did he not arrange anything special or get me a gift, but he didn’t even give me a Facebook post.
On mother’s Day my ex dropped off a care package and my BOYFRIEND didn’t even do anything.
I told him last mother’s day that I would have been happy with a Facebook post and so I thought he would at least do that. . but nothing.
On Valentine’s Day I still had no cute post , but I made one for him and surprised him at work with candy and a flower.
He used to draw for me and make me bracelets.. he no longer does that.
I make TikTok videos for fun and I can always see when he veiws them. I told him if he was going to creep my profile he can at least engage in my content and so now he does. But that’s it.
A few months back he made a birthday post for his dad and then recently has been obsessed with making AI selfies with chatgpt.
He keeps posting these albums of him as different characters and cartoons etc. which is cool and all but how about a little attention for me? I never brought it up..
Until today because I posted a TikTok of me dancing and I was wearing shorts. I saw he watched it but didn’t like it so I messaged him jokingly something along the lines of “what you don’t think I’m hot?’ and he got upset and said that it wasn’t “for him”.
I deleted the video out of respect but I just couldn’t contain myself from going off. I asked him why he never feels the need to claim me online.. that it hurts me. I told him it feels like he’s not proud to be with me and that it’s the small things that means a lot to me.
He went on a tangent about how ” teenager ” of an issue this is and how he doesn’t understand why the way he’s loving me isnt enough.
He kept trying to swing it like I wasn’t appreciative of what he has to offer and how he ” didn’t know I was just miserable this whole time”
I got really upset because I didn’t think it was right for him to react like that because come on.. what girl doesn’t just want their boyfriend to gas them up.. what boyfriend doesn’t wanna gas up their girlfriend all the time
It caused a huge argument because now he thinks I’m just unappreciative of everything he does for me (which if we’re being honest I can’t think of a whole lot) and how he just tries his best to make me happy and it’s never enough. This just really wasn’t how I was expecting the conversation to go when I brought it up and now I’m feeling like maybe we’re just no longer compatible, because what the heck
TL;DR :
BF doesn’t do anything with passion in the relationship, I (GF) would be happy with something as small as a Facebook post but BF thinks it’s dumb to care about
Comments
Darl. You are 27. If you don’t like it. Leave.