I (30M) just got back from a big family beach trip that was kind of a reunion meets vacation. My wife (31F) and I were staying in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Nothing fancy, just a regular queen bed and a door that closed.
My younger brother (26M) and his wife (24F) had just gotten married two weeks before the trip. It wasn’t their honeymoon since they have one planned later but everyone was treating this trip like a big deal for them anyway.
The house had a mix of sleeping arrangements. Some people got beds, others had couches or air mattresses. Since this trip had been planned before my brother even got engaged nothing was changed after their wedding. He and his wife ended up in the downstairs den on an air mattress. Not ideal but that’s what was left. They also never mentioned wanting a room beforehand.
On the second night around 10:30 PM my brother knocked on our door and asked if my wife and I could switch with them for the night so they could sleep in a real bed. I laughed at first because I thought he was joking. He wasn’t.
I told him no. My wife and I weren’t about to give up our bed and crash on a squeaky air mattress just because he didn’t think ahead. He got annoyed and said I was being selfish. He argued that it wasn’t a big deal since we’re already married.
I said exactly. We’re already married. We’re not trying to prove anything on someone else’s mattress.
He stormed off. The next morning my mom pulled me aside and told me I should have just let them have the room for the night and that I embarrassed them in front of everyone. My wife thinks the whole thing is ridiculous and said she wouldn’t have moved even if the Pope asked.
Now things are weird. My brother is barely speaking to me and my mom’s still kind of cold. I feel like I was totally reasonable but the vibe has been off ever since.
AITA?
Comments
He can switch rooms with mom
NTA. They embarrassed themselves by asking. Any reassigning of rooms should have been discussed before the trip and agreed to. I am assuming they knew they would be on an air mattress. I am also assuming there may have been a difference in payment for who got what.
Would it have been a nice gesture for them to have a room and bed as newlyweds? Yes, but it wasn’t just on you to volunteer or give up your space with your wife.
I’m with OPs wife! Even the bloody Pope couldn’t move me!
Who the fuck wants to go back to their vacation bed the following night to then have avoid some other women’s wet patches or the brother in laws cock cheese smears. Bork!
NTA
Nta. He needs more imagination. Ive never needed a comfy bed to get it in. At 24, its everywhere except the bed! Itd not like they were chaste before marriage. Hardly a big deal.
I feel like I’ve seen this story before. NTA though
I feel like I’ve seen this story before. NTA though
NTA. His options here are “ask mom if she’s willing to sleep on the air mattress” or “go get a hotel room.”
I’m not sure why he’s “embarrassed” because these sleeping arrangements were probably known a year ago, and if he wanted a bedroom, then conversations should have been had to see if it would be possible to move to another vacation home with more bedrooms or to negotiate a deal with someone.
Your mom inserted herself into helping her spoiled little boy get a premium location to have sex, and she doesn’t consider that embarrassing? And now she’s… pouting?
Wishing a slow air leak on your brother and a great night’s sleep to your wife.
NTA.
NTA, but I’ve also had to do the air mattress arrangements, and can sympathize.
I’m incredibly grateful that for our family reunion last year I wasn’t expected to try to do that. Some of the younger (single) adults and older teens had to do that, and I know it wasn’t fun for them. They were awesome sports about it, though, and it meant the world to my mom to have all her kids and grandkids there.
NTA. I notice your mom didn’t volunteer her bed, so it wasn’t all that important to her
Your brother is entitled, and your mother is enabling.
People get married every day. Your brother knew what the terms of the trip were because it was all set up before he got married.
If he didn’t like it, he could’ve found his own accommodations. And… Like you say, this isn’t his fucking honeymoon… Literally.
That is coming up, and he can just enjoy the reunion.
And like other people are telling you, if Mom was so concerned, she can get her ass out of her own bed and give it to him. What a bunch of bullshit.
Oh please! I guess he could ask, but he can’t possibly expect you to say yes. He certainly shouldn’t get angry.
Your mom can give up her room.
He came to you the second night, YTA imho… What kinda AH did this to his brother?? I wouldn’t do it to friends.
NTA. It doesn’t matter that they just got married, the sleeping plans were made, end of story.
NTA. Your mom clearly has a fav kid, how much you help with mom’s expenses? Stop all that and tell her since she picked his side, he can pay all her expenses 🤷🏻♀️ this is a doormat treatment
NTA.
Since it’s no big deal, I’m sure mom won’t mind giving up her bed for the night.
He knew the circumstances going in. If he wanted to change his circumstances, he should have planned ahead.
Was everyone out in the hall at 10:30 when you politely told him he couldn’t have a boink on your bed? I’d guess not, so how was he embarrassed in front of everyone?
NTA-the trip was planned and arrangements made before your brother got married. So what if he got married? Does that make him special and entitled because of it? He was out fine to ask you to trade with him and your Mother was out of line to play favorites.
NTA and handled it perfectly.
I too would have assumed he was joking at first🤣he said its not that big a deal… then whys he getting so pissy about it?
And mum chirping in? Cool she can swap with them then
NTA
How is he embarrassed in front of everyone? Was there a congregation of every single member of the family in Front of your bedroom?
You embarrassed him in front of everyone???? Was everyone in the hall at 10:30 PM at night? Even if you were willing – who would want to do that at 10:30 PM?
Ask your mom how she knew you said no, or that he even asked…. if it was that your brother told her, then you can reply, he embarrassed himself, Mom. And maybe he shouldn’t be married if he (a) can’t take no for an answer and (b) has to run to tattle to Mommy that big brother wouldn’t let him have sex on brother and his wife’s bed.
NTA
He knocked on your door after everyone had gone to bed. He was trying to kick you out of bed. Weirdo. The time to ask this is during the day so that if people agree, they can move their stuff.
If your mother wants them to have a bed she can swap with them.
NTA, he wanted to move so they could have sex being disturbed or on an uncomfortable air mattress, why your mother is getting involved in her son being an idiot that can’t think with the brain above his shoulders I don’t know.
Them being newlyweds doesn’t matter at all, him saying ‘you’re already married’ would have prompted me to say ‘so are you’ as I closed the door in his face.
He should have booked elsewhere if they wanted privacy.
why doesnt mommy give them her bed?
forcing your wife to hang out with your crappy family is already an imposition; now she’s supposed to get outta bed at 1030 and sleep on an air mattress.
You two should have left the next morning. Then mommy can be with her beloved favorite son. The disrespect to your wife is gross. Never go on family trips like this again.
NTA – so why couldn’t mom give up her bed?
Also, I don’t get what being married had to do with anything?
Least you know who the golden child is, remind your mom about this when she needs someone to look after her in the future.
This was posted a few weeks ago!!
He asked at 10.30pm? My answer would have been no too!
NTA
So he wanted his older brother and wife wanted to switch rooms, middle of the night because he wants to fck in a comfier bed? Your mom not even feeling down to raise that?
Cool story ChatGPT
‘my ridiculous twat of a brother, and interfering – but not offering her own bed, obvs – mother aren’t talking to me anymore..’
I mean, don’t threaten me with a good time…
NTA.
NTA
If they want a bed they should have thought ahead or here’s a idea GET A HOTEL ROOM for themselves!!!
But it’s ridiculous and entitled to think somone else is going to voluntarily sleep on a air mattress instead of a bed they PAID for because someone else didn’t plan ahead.
Also it’s almost hilarious that brother’s argument is he’s married , when one of his first actions was to run to mommy like he’s a toddler , that didn’t get a lollipop.
Well that’s an indirect way of saying you wanna bone 😂 leaves nothing to the imagination
I would quit the habit of family vacations in one house, where not everybody (at least adults) get a room . I would go nuts.
NTA – I would have not given up my bed. But I get why your brother wanted it.
I honestly would have thrown my brother a bone if he would have asked me ahead of time for one night, but knocking on your door t 10:30 is absurd.
All I’m thinking about are the nasty sheets. Was their plan to switch back with y’all
This is exactly what kneepads are for 🤷🏻♀️ guess they didn’t plan ahead in a few ways lol
Nice try, bro. Pass. NTA
How many times are you going to post this?
F#ck them. NTA they are acting entitled and vindictave. Go out away from them and stay away for a long time. Maybe they will worry about you.
They couldn’t book a hotel room?
Soft YTA. I would have given the newly weds the bed, honeymoon or not
Identical question has been asked before.
I’m glad you and your wife seem to be reasonable
The younger people get the lesser digs, that’s the way it always works in my family! NTA
Everyone has an opinion but also didn’t swap beds with them. Your brothers an idiot 🤣 10:30pm at night. My words nah piss off🤣
Tell him to grow up and stop being fucken cry baby lol. How was he embarrassed in front of everyone? He embarrassed himself. It was for a weekend. Surely they could stand it or if not then get a hotel room etc… none of which are your problem
Why repost this? I’ve seen this story already.
And to prove that he’s immature, when he didn’t get the answer he wanted, he went running to mommy to complain. Tell him that now is the time to grow up. NTA.
NTA. This is the equivalent of ‘can I have sex in your bed?’ and the answer is always ‘Ew, no’. But if mom wants to help them get frisky, she can go sleep on the air mattress with your dad.
And let’s be real, they could just go do it outside or in a car if they just have to but no one is accommodating that. It was inappropriate for him to even ask.
Am I hallucinating, or have I read this story before, like weeks ago? It’s way too familiar.
Sounds like mom wants to give up her bed.
Now you know who the favorite child is. NTA
You could have moved and not been a prick for a night
Read this post couple of weeks ago, pretty much word for word!
NTA, so no one else offered the newly-weds their beds but they think it’s ok to criticise you, they can either put up or shut up
Would he have washed the sheets and remade the bed for you the next day? I doubt it.
Imo the “embarrassment” is his, because he publicly demanded other people arrange things so he could smash with his “new” wife. That seems pretty desperate to me.
Why are his needs more important than yours?
Your brother is a punk ass
NTA and why would you think otherwise ?
You didn’t embarrass him in front of anybody. He’s the (supposedly) grown-bleep married man who went running to Mommy because “Joey won’t let me make funsies in his bed!”
He can trade with Mommy and Daddy next time. (Pass that on to your dad…I bet he’ll be THRILLED.)
How was it in front of everyone if he asked quietly late at night? Anyway, if mom felt so strongly, she could give up her bed.
I see your mom didn’t give up her spot so why should you?
It does make me smile sometimes when grown adults go off crying to mommy when they don’t get their own way. Doesn’t make any difference if he just got married or not. Surely he can manage for a short while on a blow up mattress. He’s got years of being in his own bed with his wife. NTA
Yep you’re an asshole. He’s your brother, you have no more rights than him. What makes it so that he can sleep on an air mattress but you can’t?
NTA. Your brother planned poorly and now gaslights you (I don’t get the point of why you being already married means that you should sleep on a couch). He should grow up and learn to bear consequences for his weaknesses.