“Men will do anything but go to therapy.” What are some things you did instead of going to therapy?
“Men will do anything but go to therapy.” What are some things you did instead of going to therapy?
r/AskMen
“Men will do anything but go to therapy.” What are some things you did instead of going to therapy?
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Ruin my life
I’m on reddit, am I not? xD
Bought a sweet car. Few things make me smile more than the sound of an American V8.
I actually did go to therapy lol
Not let anyone reframe stoicism as weakness.
Dialed in my diet, refocused on lifting heavy things, relaxing in the sauna, walking to audiobooks, make several different playlists of uplifting songs. I’ve deleted reddit of my phones so now I’m just on when work is really slow.
Started an account on Reddit to talk through mental health issues and other incredibly heavy topics, because doing it in public (even anonymously) means feel accountable to be more fair and accurate than I would be journalling, which would just be written screeds of self loathing and hatred. It seems to help other people somewhat too, which is nice. It’s not perfect, but it’s free and accessible, while therapy is neither.
Started meditation which helped me start to identified and worked through my issues and also to help me accept what parts of me are not actually an issue that need to be worked on.
Prayer, drugs, cuddles.
Workout, eat right, socialize with good people, remove myself from toxic social media, disconnect from subreddits that focus on the negatives in life, go on trips to see family and friends, and spend more time doing the things I love.
And the biggest help in my life was removing alcohol and marijuana for prolonged periods of time (during depressive stretches in my life) and doing 2 strategically timed heroic doses of mushrooms that were planned and carried out in a positive mindset.
Masturbate.
Smoke, dink, wank.
Gym
I tried writing an essay about how therapy excludes men as a demographic and this should change. I was told I’m not allowed to write an essay about men by my female professor LOL ….. ya, it’s a big mystery.
Got a job after over a year of unemployment. Turns out, having income and being able to support yourself goes a long way in not making you feel like a worthless piece of shit.
Juggling Club worked for me. Mostly.
Went to therapy, which did nothing for me. Typically I would go for walks and work thru my issues.
Looked up just how helpful therapy was, then just drank beer with my friends instead, moaning on about my problems, and saved a shitton of time and money.
Become a work-aholic. Burn out. End up severely depressed. Go to therapy. Get better. Improve my relationship with my kids. Become more proud of the man I am.
Broke up with my girlfriend.
Oh look, my problems went away.
I went to therapy for several months and it helped so much that I’m off depression meds.
Went to the gym, got a personal trainer, lost body fat, gained muscle, got myself a PhD, got a higher paying job, a better apartment, got onto a healthier diet.
Ya know, all the things that actually fixed my problems and improved my life instead of just yapping about it in therapy ….
Brutal honesty
Drank beer, play games, eat edibles 👍
Got a gym membership
I just bury shit deep. Keep moving forward. There’s been times I know I should talk things through, but I didn’t, I just use the anger, the insecurity and the pain as a driving force.
You can’t make me believe there’s a therapist in the world who wants to listen to my back catalogue of issues. In my mind I’m wasting someone’s time, and someone needs that therapist more than me. Even if that’s not true, it’s how my mind works.
This isn’t advice, but I’m not going to pretend it hasn’t worked for me.
Therapy isn’t really a think where I live, unless you have a clinical diagnosis. Even then … good luck getting an appointment with a qualified person.
Things I do: –
It’s called musical metallurgical therapy, it involves mainly heavy metal in my ears and iron and steel being lifted. Sometimes it’s classical and involves lead and copper moving at high velocity.
I got a job at a doggy daycare.
Amateur radio, shooting range, martial arts, scuba diving, wood working, metal working, setting up fireworks exhibitions, weather spotting, and photography. At least those are the things I’ve taken classes or gotten certified in.
Thinking deeply why I was feeling what I was feeling, thinking what make me feel what I felt, and then how to fix my situation.
Gym therapy.
Actually realized I needed help so I went to therapy and it helped
A good massage is better than a therapist … followed by cold beer and a baseball or football game. Works like a charm to re-center one’s self.
God that’s such a stupid attitude guys. If I had never looked for help, I would’ve never met my shrink who made me aware that my employer was provably liable for compensation. Unless… America without insurance. In which case ignore the above
Motocross/enduro riding. Adrenaline and intense physical exercise. Also, golf.
Left the reason I needed therapy for in the first place. Some people will tell you to go to therapy but they are often the wrong in your life.
It’s amazing the almost DIVINE belief in therapy these days. How many people come out of therapy cured ? I think it’s a tiny fraction to be almost worthless.
I went to therapy for three sessions.
After the second session, my therapist recommended I go on antidepressants.
During the third, he was aggressively pushing me to do so. I never went back, and never attended therapy again. Never went on antidepressants. That was seven years ago, and I’m in a much better place. Perhaps one of the best decisions I ever made was not listening to my therapist and medicating myself.
People have told me I probably just had a bad therapist, but I’m pretty sure therapist usefulness is wildly overstated for about 95% of people.
Washed my hair. Mowed my lawn. I went to therapy several times. Female therapist have no clue what the male condition is or what its like. The male therapist I went to became my buddy and we started playing golf together. It was good therapy.
Did some shrooms
I wrote
That’s about the only thing that ever helped me anyway
And
I went to the gym
I went to therapy. I had one great experience, and a few terrible experiences. It’s hit or miss.
Honestly, I’d rather ride a motorcycle. The zen-meditative-state you go into while riding really is therapeutic.
Lift
hiking
Gym + hiking and camping.
I do recommend therapy though. I have gotten value and wisdom from therapy. I am more in a maintenance of my mental health phase at the moment everything is good.
Therapy. Easy.
I had/have severe trauma over circumcision being done to be, I fully restored my foreskin before talking to a therapist about it, foreskin restoration is great and recommend it…. but it didn’t fix the mental pain. Currently seeing a therapist to finally address the trauma
Ate about 300 Tylenol and spent 4 weeks in hospital?!
Bought a bow, arrows, and a target and got back into archery.
Build model kits of robots.
Ride my bikes stupid long distances. Cycling is expensive af but still cheaper than therapy.
The gym is the best form of “therapy” by a huge margin.
Done therapy, helped me to identify and resolve the issues that I have. These days, I go fishing – whether spinning or droning, rain or shine, being outdoors is peaceful and brought me back.
Stopped drinking, began working on myself…. going to the gym, eating right, actually sleeping, learned self hypnosis, and microdosed the shit out of some shrooms. Ended up getting a great job, great wife, but still dont have any friends
I put my gun in my mouth so I can taste the steel, then scroll through askfeminists and askwomen to remind myself of who benefits off it and put it away until the urge hits again
Decades of alcohol abuse. Guess what: alcohol doesn’t fix anything.
Dated a therapist. Do not recommend. I got better tho.
I hit the gym
I went to therapy.
A therapist from Europe I was chatting with offered it to me for free when I was behaving very…distraught after my ex wife left. She offered 8 sessions.
That was the beginning of my “journey” if you will. I had tried therapy before that and it sucked. But with this random therapist…I was introduced to schema therapy.
I haven’t been able to stop since. With each month that goes by I learn more about myself, and understand more. I’m the person I spend the most time with, so why wouldn’t I enjoy that?
Anyway, if you’re considering therapy, I recommend you look into therapy that’s backed by psychological studies. Much more effective than the regular “let’s just talk about your feelings” crap.
Learned how to play a completely new/different instrument.
Like completely different. Absolutely cheaper than therapy and will pay dividends anyway.
Ketamine. Exercise. Time. Psilocybin mushrooms. Lots of time sitting and thinking. All worked way better than therapy. Good for the people that it’s helpful for but I don’t think everyone needs to go to therapy and I’m kinda tired of hearing that.
The only thing therapy has ever been useful for me was strategies for managing ADHD.
I drank alcohol and abused drugs, I cheated and destroyed my marriage, I was a semi absent parent, I neglected my mental and physical health and had suicidal thoughts and ideations.
Then one day I hit fuck it and went back to therapy and started taking it seriously. I’m sober, but now I’m divorced, I’m a much better father, my mental health is vastly improved, my physical health is improved besides my physical disabilities I can’t change on my own and the suicidal thoughts never really go away but I no longer dwell on them.
Give therapy a real shot.
Started learning art, transferred that over to pyrography, and recently started blacksmithing.
The blacksmithing is new. I’m still figuring it out
I am one of the few men who spent $200 a week for two years for someone dressed like my mom to ask unhelpful questions that went nowhere.
So yeah… not sure why men are catching shit for being fiscally sound this week.
Went to therapy
A hobby.
Went for walks, tried to get back into a hobby i’ve left.
Realized i was terrible, became more depressed.
Joined a band. Got a schedule going, gave me something to look forward to. Got good enough to play shows which helped release a lot of endorphins.
Showed up ahhhhaaa! Reverse Psychology.
Learn to rewire your thought patterns. It’s not easy and takes time. Don’t hang around toxic people or always look for problems or dwell on things you hate. Enjoy the moment. Keep things in perspective. Keep challenging yourself for the better. Like small incremental gains in fitness levels, money, playing an instrument, consuming less alcohol, try talking to random people and see what happens , or whatever you want
I went to therapy once a week for 8 years. Approx 400+ hours. Completely changed my life.
I’ve tried going to therapy on and off for decades. I know there are some good therapists, but I haven’t met one yet. I’ve found talking to old, wise men over a few drinks at the bar far more eye opening.
Torture my body in this amazing place called “the gym” 5-6 days a week.
Took 4.5 oz of shrooms. Had a conversation with myself, a serpent made of plants and death.
Edit: punctuation
Firstly, tried to unalive myself by driving into a semi. My car blew a tire and I crashed into a median instead. No injuries to me somehow.
Wife called a therapist, since I was at home as I stopped going to work and everything, who came and visited me a few times. Started walking/running again. Video games.
Was raised by a family that preached needing mental help as being bad and weak and that was my mindset. Now I’m not afraid to show emotion and advocate anyone to get help.
After a year of therapy, I stopped seeing progress in our sessions. I talked to a psychologist instead and was proscribed adhd medication. Suddenly my problems are manageable, my social life has never been better, and I’m down 30 pounds.
Watch movies, play video games, hang out with friends, take trips with my brother, write stories, listen to music. Anything that relaxes me and results in me having a good time.
Listen to other people’s therapy suggestions and skills and try them for myself.
Solved the problem causing the life stress at the time. I find that approach works wonders for me.
Got over it. Moved on
Alcohol. Porn. Avoiding anything that has the potential to add to my stress. Withdrew from family and friends.
It worked a little, but wasn’t sustainable.
Strippers and Escorts.
So much better
5g of magic mushrooms.
Go to the gym , drink.
Women who actually need therapy resist the f-ck out of it, the data is flawed cuz a lot of people just go to therapy for validation or medication.
Did therapy. Currently also doing college at 41 and working and hustling.
Playing hockey solves pretty much everything. Exercise, violence, comradery. Surrounded by other men working their shit out just the same.
Take mushrooms
Following a break up- got in shape with running and swimming – for me natural endorphins were better than SSRIs
DRINK!!
Had to quit porn cold-turkey. And yk what, I thought it’ll make me even hornier (“since seeking out the pleasure is reset”), but it actually made me uninterested in porn altogether. Like when I sometimes get hit with sex scenes from movies, it does not turn me on nearly as much as it used to. It’s like a veil of innocence has been put on my head. But this doesn’t mean I became innocent though – I can still understand some dirty jokes, I still know what genitalia looks like 😅, and I’m not naive.
Granted, the process at the first few weeks were the worst, the withdrawal is almost too controlling.. but I had to commit, I said to myself if the placebo effect were to be true.. this is the chance! like wdym my hands randomly opened a porn tab?, I should ’totally’ have total control over my limbs here 😤.. And so, history was made. Kinda dramatic there but yeah.
Self talk and rationalize everything I was feeling / dealing with hard logic.
I communicated with my wife. Worked out pretty good.
I went to therapy but acid, mushrooms, and ketamine did more for me than any professional
I bought groceries and paid my mortgage.
Read. (The Body Keeps The Score in particular). Torture myself with difficult thoughts while working a repetitive job (the busy body helps), with the knowledge that I’m working towards something positive in the end and I will get better.
Also this
Presently, I’m being poor instead of going to therapy.
Oh I did go to therapy.
But first, I practiced mindfulness and a certain form of meditation that brings up bad memories.
Then, a few drugs, notably my first LSD trip.
Only then did I go to therapy. Which went very well and fast, as I had already discovered on my own what went wrong in my head, I just needed help finding answers and solutions.
Depression gone, haven’t touched drugs since, still meditate. Face all new mental challenges directly and head on. 10/10 would recommend therapy.
Embarrassed to say this but paid a life coach i found on reddit back during pandemic.
I went to therapy and the therapist said
“You are manipulating people by saying you want to kill yourself”
So now I just STFU.
Go on aimless drives
Visit a very quiet place.
Read books, try to write in my journal, spend time alone with my thoughts, listen to lots of podcasts about therapy and mental health, assess my situation. Eat better, stopped drinking and drugs, started going to bed earlier and doing stretches and exercises in the mornings before work. I am a work in progress.
I cant afford therapy, but theres tons of therapists that put out free material via podcasts, as well as buying books, I’ve learned quite a lot through them in the past few years.
I went to therapy. Therapist literally told me that the physical and sexual abuse I was being subjected to was my fault. I was sixteen. Obviously I was in a real rush to go back.
“Men will do anything but go to therapy.” Women will do anything but honestly wonder why.
I go to therapy. My therapist is sex positive. Certified intimacy coach. Has experience coaching high performing men. She also has quickly pegged how I think.
Journaling, working out every day, talked to ChatGPT as if it was my therapist, hung out with more people more often.
I just went to therapy. What’s the big deal?
Sopranos bingewatching.
Got a dog and lived in the woods for 10 years
I used introspection and came to the answers I needed by myself then I applied the effort to change. Therapy doesn’t even do the latter. I’ve known so many people who go to therapy and yet never apply anything they’ve learned in there to their life. They do not improve. It’s just an expensive voice diary.
Hobby. This is the only thing I want to do for the last ~5 months. This is the only normal communication with people. This is the only thing that relieves stress and gives a feeling of accomplishment and significance.
Quit smoking and started working out.
I wasn’t any nicer a person but I probably bought myself more time on earth.
After a very stressful period at work, and my son being suicidal, I tried to get therapy. Preventive.
I was rejected twice.
So, I figured it out on my own.
Spent years wallowing in misery and fantasizing about the day I would actually have the balls to finally pull the trigger. Going to therapy and finding a therapist who actually worked for me was a game changer
Live Laugh Lexapro
Built a fighting robot
Was rejected from therapy (got recently diagnosed with autism and could have really needed the help) by the local therapist because, and I quote “You are verbal, you don’t need help”.
What I am doing instead: got a job in one of my special interest areas. So far it is working great as therapy replacement. I don’t care that my employer probably exploits my willingness to do a lot of unpaid overtime, because this is therapy to me and now I am no longer suicidal.
Another thing I picked up is cutting myself sometimes, it is great against the numbness. It makes me feel something and is the closest thing I can get to how human touch/hugs probably feels like. Sadly human touch is extremely important too me but completely unattainable. But with proper medical knowledge and sterile supplies, it is actually pretty safe and therapeutic, at least to me. (Don’t do this
at home, please.)So these are my two therapy replacements (out of necessity), and so far they are working pretty well for me.
Jiu Jitsu. Something about practicing killing each other makes you put other parts of your life into a different perspective.
I tried therapy, but the strategies and methods felt very feminine to me and it didn’t resonate. I gave a few different therapists a go, but now I just talk to my friends and do work with my hands while I process. It’s nice
I usually sleep late on my day off, and when I go on vacation, I like to go somewhere calm again so I can sleep a little extra and relax. There is one exception. My parents have a small house on a little lake in Northern Pennsylvania. When I visit, I will get up 20 minutes before the sun. Take a 5-minute shower. Row to the middle of the lake and rest until the sun is in my eyes. That is my therapy. No one calls for me or disrupts me peace. I don’t have any obligations. I can manage to shut down my thoughts. I haven’t gotten there in far too long. I miss it. It’s maybe a 45-minute experience.
The cool morning air. The quiet that is so quiet you can almost hear it. Fresh air and a little splash of the canoe rocking on the water. It is peace.
I went to therapy. Men go to therapy. Stop the bleeping stigma.
Lotta drugs.
What has managed my current mental health is a lot of me time and good sleep.
I went to therapy.
I feel that “Men will do anything but go therapy” quote is usually coming from man haters
Drink
Bomb Iran. Invade Ukraine.
I’ve been in therapy since I was in the 4th grade…
Well. I did go to therapy. And I also started going to the gym. And telling my wife when I feel things. I also read books on ADHD and marital conflict styles. I also wanted to be a therapist for a while so. I read those kinds if books too. Therapy is awesome. But so is just chatting to good friends. I have three what’s app audio message friendships with people in other countries. I used to walk my
Dog and process life. Multiples times I’d be stopping my dog from
Eating shit off the ground and just weeping out loud about something I hadn’t realised.
Talk to friends.
Lift heavy shit.
Sleep good.
Read books.
drove to maine, drank 2 liters of vodka and 1000mg of ambien and stumbled through the snowy forest till i collapsed.
and i thought life was too hard without the medical debt lmao
it got easier with therapy.
I was rushed to the hospital and the doctors saved my life.
Better than therapy, Mushrooms. You can go to therapy for a few years to figure yourself out or you can spend 8 hours on Mushrooms .
Went to the range every weekend. Made some great friends.
Edit: I just want to add that I have gone to therapy multiple times with tons of different therapists. Every single one was terrible. The women don’t know what kinds of issues men have, and the men are all rich assholes who have never had a real problem in their life. Making good friends, working out, and eating better saved me a lot of money that I would have blown on pointless yapping sessions with a professional circle jerker.
Listening to music.
Got out or away with some really good friends.
Drugs. Way too many drugs. And booze. Clean and sober now
Joined the army.
I’m tired of people pathologizing normal parts of life. I don’t do things in lieu of therapy because I don’t need to go to therapy.
Taking care of your mental health does not typically require a therapist. If you are struggling to take care of your mental health that’s when you go to therapy. I get the impression that people who have trouble with emotional regulation or something else that requires therapy have trouble understanding that it isn’t normal.
On the other hand, I went to therapy for a while and saw more personal improvement after I stopped going.
Spend more time outdoors. Do lots of physical work
Just move one dude, theres no secret
Go to the gym, split wood, forge, run, and do medical dirt.
Started a band, wrote songs about how life sucks and that’s about it. Getting an outlet to express myself through has been a weight lifted in so many ways. Additionally, as the music is quite fast and aggressive, it’s also a great way to blow off some steam.
Drugs mostly
So do you guys remember in Lord of the Rings when that Theoden dude was lost to despair and the whole kingdom was trying to snap him out of it and he was just super depressed and no one could figure it out so they asked Gandalf cause he was the wisest dude they knew. “Gandalf,” they asked, “Saurons armies approacheth, the high seat shall fall to fire, and our once great King has fallen to the pits of dispair! How do we get that dawg back in him?”
Gandalf is all like “hold my beer” and just goes over to the king and asks “Hey, brother. You wanna check out this field I found? Prolly has some cool sticks or something, idk.” So Theoden looks out at the field, and it is, in fact, pretty cool. So he’s like, “Damn, you were right, Gandalf. What are we gonna do?”
“Much.” Gandalf states simply.
“Ohh and by the way, you gotta stop listening to fucking Wormtongue. He’s been listening to tate podcasts and then regurgitating it to you. It’s brainrot, dude. It’s not healthy, and you’re scaring off all the hoes. His name is Wormtomgue for fucks sake.”
Anyway, my point is that traditional “sit down and talk it out” therapy isn’t for everyone, we need more men in the field,and actionable goals instead of affirmations are more likely to help the majority of men.
Drinking an obscene amount of alcohol for the better part of two decades. It didn’t work too well, I’ll tell you that.