Want to meet more social groups, so they say have hobbies. But it’s hard to just go down to a bowling alley and bowl alone and muscle your way into some group of people without an invitation.
Guys, how do you find new social hobbies as an adult if you don’t know anyone who already does that thing?
r/AskMen
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You try everything you think could be fun at least once. If something was fun then you go a couple more times to see if it sticks. Focus on the activity more than the people because you can really miss out on some great new hobbies by relying on other people to be the source of the entertainment.
I like Facebook groups to scout things out. There are 100s. I’m in the Goth community so if I’m traveling somewhere or trying to check out a town I can send a message out and make some friends. Just look for a niche that interests you. Gaming, bowling, hiking, music, books, etc.
Why is that hard? Go to the bowling alley, show up regularly and just bowl. You’ll start to see the same people. Sometime when you’re there just ask if you could join them for a game sometime.
If you know the hobby – Bowling, volleyball, softball, etc. Just look on reddit, local facebook groups, or meetup app. Search those hobbies and find a group that meets relative to your skill level.
If you don’t know the hobby, look at various reddit threads, watch tiktoks, etc of various hobbies, find one that might interest you and go do the hobby for a month or two and see if you enjoy it.
Lots of trial and error, lots of rejection, etc. But you’ll learn to be okay with that which is a skill in itself.
Not sure why this was downvoted. But oh well.
You actually CAN join groups of people doing things. I might be better at that than average because I don’t mind going out alone to bars, riding my motorcycle, mountain bike, disc golf…all of it and I always meet new people.
People are way more approachable in general than you might think, ESPECIALLY if there’s a shared interest. You just have to put yourself in situations and try things and talk to people. If they don’t talk back or are dicks, who cares? Keep rolling. You are the only one holding you back!
Meetup
Join a martial arts gym
Join a league. You can always sign up as a free agent and they’ll put you on a team that needs people. Try to meet people on other teams as well. At the end of the season you can try to make your own team of people you become friends with or they may invite you to join their team if they have an opening.
I just signed up for adult sports leagues in my area as a free agent. Eventually you make new friends and have a group to play with. Was with one softball team for 8 years before moving again, and then subsequently did the same thing in the new area I moved to.
r/prisonhooch
great community online, great community in person. homebrewing was one of the coolest things i did and I met loads of people through it. give it a go.
I worked second shift for many years but always wanted to play co-ed volleyball at our local YMCA. When I finally switched to first shift I went to the Y and asked about playing. Most of the teams stuck together, some of them for more than 20 years. But they took the names of anybody asking without a team and we became (a terrible!) pickup team. We rarely won, but we had fun and met lots of people.
You don’t always have to already be on a team, go ask at the bowling alley, or pickleball court, about joining in without knowing anybody.
Clubs. I’d ask the bowling alley if they have a club evening when more dedicated players play. Turn up to these, be a nice guy, I’m sure you’ll make friends with time. Same applies to majority of activities.
> it’s hard to go down to a bowling alley and bowl alone
it is, however, extraordinarily easy to go to down to a bowling alley on “learn to bowl” day – which is absolutely, 100%, something they have.
Go to a game store and check out stuff like D&D, Warhammer, and Battletech if your wallet can handle it. Odds are the store will have a dedicated game night that you can check out, maybe try a demo or two.
Go to a private gym. CrossFit / Powerlifting gyms are where you’ll find community
This is where we have to remember what it was like as little kids walking up and asking “can I play too?”
Yeah it’s hard. But people at play are generally friendly and happy to meet new interested people.
Facebook groups. I started riding an adventure bike a few years ago so I found the local FB groups and went to couple of coordinated rides. Boom, new friends.
I’ve done the same with pretty much any hobby over the last 15 years or so.
My entire social circle collapsed. Friends I had known for 20 yrs just fell off. So I started doing the things I liked doing alone.Gaming..riding bikes…home improvement stuff..etc..soon a new batch of friends just kinda started to form. Now we build bicycles that we rescue from the dump and give away to the little kids in the area that don’t have one…Lesson of the day..Do the things your passionate about and you will attract all the friends you will need.
Find a local club or FB group of people who do that hobby. Visit and see what you think of it. Most people/clubs will be happy to introduce you to their hobby!
Rec team sports. Beer league hockey if you like beer!
You go and try it out and talk to other people who are doing the same thing. You aren’t muscling your way into a group of people by saying hi to the people bowling next to you. They can either respond or ignore you. But you will find most people will respond positively. Most people want others to be involved in their hobbies so they are willing to help people that are genuinely interested in them.
Show up a few times. They will notice you. Just watch and hang out. Eventually, come up and chat and ask if there is an opportunity to participate (this is easier after they have noticed you a few times). Most are very chilled about it and will let you know.
Adults sports leagues. You’ll be plopped onto a team. The teams are usually friendly. Boom friends.
Honestly? Local groups are helpful. Ie. You’re town/city’s Facebook page(I know) or reddit.
Ive used the local subreddit of my town, or even towns I’m visiting for finding projects to do, to find people who have information on X hobby or cultural norms etc.
It’s super useful, but bigger towns/cities will be more difficult.
Lastly, if your hobby is at a place of business ie. Indoor climbing, you can always call that facility and ask their staff what kind of events are going on for beginners etc.
I like martial arts. So I do martial arts.
I train goju ryu and bjj. So much fun. You’ll find some real real badasses with hearts of gold in martial arts.
Pay attention to anything you see on the internet that looks fun.
I (44m) never thought I would do this. But i picked up golf. I was a hard-core fisherman. But fishing became a cash black hole. Spending near 500 for trips to the coast and catching one or two or sometimes nothing has become a drain on my soul.
Then one day I swung a golf club sent that ball to the stratosphere and I felt good about it. So I bought some used clubs and been swinging early mornings on the weekends while the family is still asleep. I’ve been meeting some very interesting people of all ages and its fun seeing my self improve every weekend. 12 bucks for a bucket of balls on the driving range is good by me..
I do still fish but I’ve toned it way down its no longer my life like it was before.
Rock climbing gyms and martial arts gyms seem to welcome people with open arms compared to other hobbies in my experience. I think partly it’s because these are hobbies most of these people started solo and would happily continue to do with or without friends which isn’t true of all hobbies, it could be the shared passion and physical challenge, plus the almost mandatory resting time in between training being inherently social. Things like a board game cafe, people tend to stick to their group and it can be hard to break into one unless you are going to a social event specifically.
I set up a free book library box in my front yard that the neighborhood donates to. Often just sit outside and carve little comfort birds or read. Bring a couple extra blocks of basswood and knives to teach young teens and just BS with other dads. You’d be surprised how many people stop to make small talk and are just as lonely as you are. Don’t forget the dog treats for the furry ones.
Other ways I’ve met people include golfing, archery, and just take classes at local craft shops.
I bought, built and painted a warhammer army, learned the basics and joined a local tournament. After that I knew some people and how to attend weekly game nights
If I was looking for one, I would probably be asking on here like you.
Look for groups on meetup.com. There are 2 bowling groups near me.
i would find co-workers and go out with them. or go to a store that i want to start as a hobby and ask them cashier/ other customers. as for a bowling alley, make a friendly bet say a round of drinks. shows you’re friendly and a good sport if you lose. and if you win respect.
Turn up to something you are interested in and join.
Where I’m from people have been starting to enjoy the outdoors more – specifically running, hiking, and camping. There are a couple of groups on social media that post about upcoming events and many of them indicate these activities as beginner friendly. I message the organizer / group page and ask a few things and see if it’s something that I would enjoy and I just sign up / ask what I need to bring or expect.