I (F17) was asked by my boyfriend (M16) if instead of going with me to prom, he could go with his girl best friend. They have been friends since middle school and I have never had an issue with her seeing she is nice and all plus when we started dating she had a boyfriend. A few weeks ago they broke up and my boyfriend thinks it is the right thing to do since she no longer has a date that he could go with her to cheer her up and is requesting that I can go with my friends instead. The reason I have such an issue with this is because this is my first and last prom seeing it is my last year of school and i did not go last year because I was very sick. My boyfriend and his girl best friend are in the grade below me and will both get to go to prom next year. I wouldn’t have an issue with going with friends but all of my close friends all have dates already and even if they didn’t it would hurt knowing he was ditching me for another girl. I know his heart is probably in the right place but I explained why I didn’t want this to him. He said that he is doing it mainly because of the breakup but also because they have been friends longer than we have been dating and it would be very special for them. For reference they have been friends for around 4/5 years whilst him and I have been together for nearly a year. If he doesn’t go with me then I do not have anyone to go with hence I probably would have to miss out on prom. AITA?
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I (F17) was asked by my boyfriend (M16) if instead of going with me to prom, he could go with his girl best friend. They have been friends since middle school and I have never had an issue with her seeing she is nice and all plus when we started dating she had a boyfriend. A few weeks ago they broke up and my boyfriend thinks it is the right thing to do since she no longer has a date that he could go with her to cheer her up and is requesting that I can go with my friends instead. The reason I have such an issue with this is because this is my first and last prom seeing it is my last year of school and i did not go last year because I was very sick. My boyfriend and his girl best friend are in the grade below me and will both get to go to prom next year. I wouldn’t have an issue with going with friends but all of my close friends all have dates already and even if they didn’t it would hurt knowing he was ditching me for another girl. I know his heart is probably in the right place but I explained why I didn’t want this to him. He said that he is doing it mainly because of the breakup but also because they have been friends longer than we have been dating and it would be very special for them. For reference they have been friends for around 4/5 years whilst him and I have been together for nearly a year. If he doesn’t go with me then I do not have anyone to go with hence I probably would have to miss out on prom. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I do not want my boyfriend to go to prom with his girl best friend. This might make me the asshole because I am being unfair as she has just gone through a break up and I know his heart is in the right place.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Info: Why can’t they go together next year?
I would suggest you go together as a couple but you extend a please tag along with us to the friend. After all it is a party where people should interact with others and not stick to their date for the entire night.
NTA. Tell him this is your last chance and you couldn’t go last year due to illness. Proms are for dates, not friends and this is a once in a lifetime event for you. If he still insists on going with her… hate to say it but it’s basically saying she matters more to him. However, I would suggest trying to find her a date instead.
NTA. He’s definitely cheating with her.
When you started dating, she had a boyfriend. Now she doesn’t. Seems like he sees this as his shot. NTA.
WHAT THE FUCK HELL NO
NTA. So his solution for her being dateless(and friendless apparently) is to make you dateless instead?
You should go ahead and make him single too. He’s an AH.
You’re NTA
>I know his heart is probably in the right place
No, it isn’t. You might as well cut line and let him go chase his friend now that she’s available.
Why can’t he take you both? I took two girls to my senior prom. It was a blast.
I’d personally dump him over this. Him asking this is clearly prioritising the girl best friend over you, his girlfriend. It’s pretty much undeniable. The question is whether you can accept this, and if you want to. You can try and say no, but he can’t un-ask the question. I think you deserve a guy who’ll put you first. NTA
Maybe the three of you could go together. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. You can have fun together.
Even the fact he is suggesting it let’s you know you are NOT his priority, she is… you should simply walk away pal, if he isn’t already trying to cheat, he will be… any guy will tell you this, if they have a partner, the partners needs ALWAYS have priority over everyone else (other than emergencies/medical etc) if she is his priority, then she is his partner, regardless of how he tries to explain it.. walk away, get some good looking guy to go to prom with and be happy… but don’t interact with him, or her, at the prom.. just move on…
> he thinks it is the right thing to do since she no longer has a date that he could go with her to cheer her up
So he wants to leave you without a date, and bummed out, instead? That’s fucked up, girl. Tell him to have fun with his new girlfriend, cause that’s what she is.
Honestly you should breakup immediately and then see if you can get a last minute date to prom and go as a group with your friends. This boy doesn’t prioritize you and it will just be more issues and heartache after you graduate. Go to college or whatever you are doing next single and don’t waste your time and energy on guys who don’t care to make special events special for YOU. Nta
NTA. But unfortunately your boyfriend is probably in love with his girl best friend. His actions say “I care more about my girl best friend than my actual gf”, “I would rather go on a date with my girl best friend than my gf”.
His heart isn’t in the right place.
Sounds like he wants to date her and sees this as his chance to be her hero. He doesn’t care about your feelings. I’d rethink this relationship
NTA. It’s your last dance and you want to go with your significant other. I get that he wants to be a good friend, but a good friend would maybe save her a dance if she chooses to go, not dump his girlfriend and take his girl best friend instead.
If he sees you two being together after you go off to college then I’m not quite sure why he wouldn’t make you a priority? Do you think he may have feelings for her? Not to put anything in your head but you are going off to college and she is now single.. seems a little odd.
If he is insistent on taking her and your feelings are not being considered, I’d say cut your losses now and enjoy your night with people who will make this dance a fond memory to look back on instead of one full of anguish.
NTA. You are his partner. You should be top priority
Its okay for him to have friends and you seem to have been reasonable so far. But to put his friend over you is non negotiable imo
When he had a chance, he didn’t choose you…what does that say about how he feels?
Are you sure you’re his girlfriend? Because it doesn’t seem like it
NTA, but I would break up with him.
He’s made it clear who his priority is and it’s not you.
When your best friend has been dumped, you show up with tissues, ice cream, and favorite movies to trash talk their ex. Not take them to prom OVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND, WTF.
NTA – Maybe I was just lucky with good friends at that age, any female friends I had would’ve slapped me stupid for suggesting I went with anyone other than my GF.
NTA. But you already told him you didn’t want this and it seems he’s doing it anyway. I think he doesn’t care how you feel. This relationship might have run its course.
Also, why are you having prom now? Or are you just planning ahead? If so, you have plenty of time to find someone to go to prom with.
Wow this really sux for you I’m sure your really upset and you have every right to be have you talked to the gal pal about it to see what she thinks about him not taking you? I’d say boys are dumb and insensitive but he’s clearly thinking about her feelings. I can understand If he asked you if she could tag along with you but to just ask to go with her seems strange I hate to say it but if hes not riding on the back of your horse then you need to leave him in the dust I feel so sorry for you.