Every weekend my family does game night and it’s honestly one of the few things we all look forward to. My little brother is 10 and super competitive. The thing is he only really enjoys playing if he’s winning.
Last weekend we played Mario Kart and I didn’t go easy on him. I lapped him twice and took first in every race. He started crying around the third round and stormed off saying I was “being mean on purpose.” My parents told me I could’ve let him win once or twice “just to keep the peace” but I said no. I think it’s better he learns how to lose now instead of growing up thinking he should always get his way.
Now my parents are annoyed with me and game night is “on pause” until further notice. I wasn’t trying to be cruel I just don’t think babying him is helpful.
So… AITAH for not throwing a race or two to spare his feelings?
Comments
What age is he? NTA anyway just curious lol
Just because they want to make him a participation trophy kid doesn’t mean you have to… they are doing this kid a great injustice. His friends aren’t going to cut him slack just because he’s a crybaby… they will start to ditch him and your parents will be at fault. Show them these comments
OP brother is 10. How old are you?
Edited to add
**NTAH
At 10, it is reasonable for him to learn to be a gracious loser. NTA.
NTA just be a gracious winner to keep it fun!
I grew up in a family of board and card gamers in the 70s and 80s. Never let kids win. They need to learn to play better to win. They need to learn how to lose. Life is a series of losses with an occasional tie. Also, apparently you’re supposed to smoke and drink heavily with kids at the card table.
Never don’t quit! NTA
NTA he is 10 not 3. It will only get worse as he gets older. The entitlement that he should win at everything will be crushed over time, or he will turn into a bully believing he deserves everything handed to him. Your parents are the AH.
NTA. He’s 10 not 5.
He’s gotta learn sometime.
no expect to play with adults if you are going to act like a baby
nta
NTA. Make him earn his wins. It’s too bad Mommy and Daddy don’t see that.
NTA. I grew up with a sister who would only participate if she knew she was likely to win, and it’s caused her lifelong issues. We’re in our 50s now and while she is objectively smarter than me, my willingness to fail means I’m now a top 5% earner and she’s working a minimum wage job.
Failure isn’t something to be afraid of or avoid, and avoiding any chance of failure stunts growth.
No. NTA. And I agree with you completely.
NTA
“You are his parents. If now is not the time to teach him how to lose gracefully, when is it the time? When he’s 15? 20?”
Either you and everybody in comments are TAH, or none of us are haha. Lil one has to learn an important life lesson – if you want to become better, then you have to face the loss. NTA at all to me
NTA
I have a ten year old and I smash her to smithereens 😂
This means at school she is the best at Blinds, Connect 4 and other games as she learns from me, and has started beating me legitimately
Learning to lose gracefully is a valuable life lesson. It may also make him buckle down and practice.
NTA. If he’s super competitive at age 10, he needs to know how to lose with grace in addition to sharpening his skills.
Beat him mercilessly and relentlessly. But then coach him on one player so he beat the bots and get better. If your parents and brother don’t like that, well life is going to be tough on him.
IMO it is highly situation dependent. IF he is humble with his winning, is putting a lot of effort in and just cannot win, I feel like it is okay to let him win sometimes whilst making it clear (but not harshly) that he was left to win. HOWEVER, and this is likely the case, if he is a little smug prick after winning and is unbearable otherwise, then teach him a lesson.
All these boomer answers from Gen z’s. 😂 Shalom you’re loved 💔
NTA my dad used to destroy me in video games and I absolutely loved it 😂
NTA. Kid shouldn’t be happy with a win anyone gives him out of pity and you should tell him that. It matters when you really earn it. If you let him think he’s good, he’ll never actually get good.
A 10 year old needs to accept that he won’t win everything.
I never let my son win at videogames. He’s 11 now and an absolute killer at mario kart and smash. He makes me so damn proud when he smokes his cousins or hell my grown ass friends even. Letting them win just kills the competitive fire
NTA show your parents this thread, just because he is their “baby boy” doesn’t mean the world will view him as that. If they don’t start actually parenting him, everyone will think he is an entitled, spoiled little AH. No-one will want to play with him, there is no “for the sake of peace”, its actually teaching him about life. Punishing you, by pausing game’s night, is childish and short sighted. They are showing you clearly, that he is the golden child that you are always going to come 2nd unless you bend to the 10 year olds will.
No, the kid needs to get good.
Edit: NTA
He needs to learn that losing is part of life. The only way to not lose is to get better at something. Your parents are going to stunt his growth and self initiative.
The kids whose parents let them win at everything grow up to be Karens because they were never taught that everything is given to them if they throw a big enough tantrum.
NTA, the lesson your parents are sending your little brother that they will stop activities for him if he isn’t getting his way. He is being coddled, either way, by their canceling game nights. Maybe you should discuss this with them? How is cancelling game night teaching your little brother anything but if it is hard he can stop and your parents will let him. They are setting him up to be an underachiever, a quitter when it is hard, when he doesn’t win . . .
Nope you are absolutely right!
NTA but I usually throw at least one game with people under 13.
NTA. Because when he finally does beat you, he’ll know he actually beat you himself!
You’re doing a better job parenting him and preparing him for life than his parents are…
NTA as a kid it sucks when you loose to an adult or a bigger kid/teenager. However that feeling of accomplishment and pride you get when you finally win against that adult or big kid is amazing. How is he supposed to get better at board games or Mario kart if everyone just lets him win? What happens when he takes his bad Mario kart skills to his friends? Instead he should ask you to teach him how to do better at Mario Kart! Then he can beat his friends when he plays against them!
Your parents are depriving your brother of that sense of pride from finally winning and the chance to build up his game skills. Plus he needs to learn how to loose gracefully (a much needed life skill.) They should also only choose games where there are no winners or losers if they are so worried about making sure little brother never looses (& that is on them as parents to set the agenda for family game night.)
NTA. Good life lesson for the kid to learn. Life isn’t fair and you’re not always going to win or get your way. It teaches good coping skills and how to lose like a winner.
Assuming you weren’t gloating and intentionally making him feel bad, then NTA.
As you said, he has to learn that he can’t always win.
NTA oldest of 5 kids and we played that and Mario party or games like Monopoly growing up. There was no mercy for anyone eventually turns into a bloodbath of everyone trying to screw each other over or when you were guaranteed to lose you teamed up to at least pull down the lead. Either way we were having fun and if you can’t enjoy even the loss setting him up for a rough time when its something far more serious down the road.
My son is an award-winning game designer. He told me once that he was glad I never let him win since that spurred him to become a better gamer. Then he fell in love with games.
NTA
Your little brother sounds like someone who’s going to have his ass beat by life if he continues to behave in this manner. Your parents are doing him absolutely zero favors by telling you to let him win keep the peace. I’m a firm believer that we earn our wins in life, they aren’t just handed to us.
The sooner your brother learns that nothing in life is going to be handed to him, the better off he’ll be.
NTA
We always let my youngest brother win games. Now, as an adult, he still changes rules and makes up excuses why he should get an advantage. We weren’t doing him any favors by letting him win. NTA.
NTA.
My dad taught me to play chess, and backgammon. I lost… a lot. But he never made me feel bad about it. We’d discuss why I lost, what strategies were best. I got better, but I learned to enjoy the games, and I got to spend quality time with my dad. Winning was a bonus at that point.
NTA – there is a time to learn to lose. It made me remember playing games with my uncles. I would get so mad, not because I lost, but because they would cheat (yes to irritate me). They wouldn’t want to move the correct amount of spaces on the board or try to get “extra” money, or whatever.
NTA.
I stopped being better then my cousin at Mario cart when he was about 12. We’re 20 and 29 now. I managed to not only beat him the other day, but get 1st place. That was a sweet victory, made all the losses over the years better.
I am of the mind that you can’t let kids win, they have to learn to take the losses and enjoy the victories when they happen.
If he were 6, yeah give him one but he’s 10. He also needs to learn how to graciously lose since he is very competitive. I think most people know “that guy” who’s very competitive and they rarely have a positive feeling towards him. Your parents need to talk to him about that. It will also make him learn to think more strategically so it helps him in many ways.
Oh fuck no you don’t go easy on people in Mario Kart. That shit has to be earned. As it was for my father, and his father before him.
Oh fuck no you don’t go easy on people in Mario Kart. That shit has to be earned. As it was for my father, and his father before him.
NTA tell your parents to actually parent their son instead of enabling him. He’s old enough to know that he can’t always get his way and tantrums are for babies and toddlers. He’s going to be a right ah when he becomes an adult if this behavior isn’t stopped now.
nothing good comes from letting people win…
Parents are not interested in justice.… they are interested in QUIET.
NTA.
NTA
He needs to learn how to lose. I know adults in their 70’s that have issues with losing, and other friends we no longer do game nights with due to sore losers.
NTA. Kids need to learn, I was like that too at that age and I’m glad that my relatives nipped it in the bud.
Not the asshole.
Children having to learn that the world won’t “let them win” should be a requirement.
Learning that they don’t get to throw a tantrum every time they don’t get their way is necessary to development of a “not garbage personality”; sorry for the use of very technical terms here.
NTA for winning but if you always not only beat but decimate him then he won’t want to play with you anymore. If that’s what you want then keep it up but if you want to actually play with him then you can’t always win. Lots of other people are telling you to never let anyone win but the reality is that most people will give up if they never are able to win
NTA….this is a nasty world, very competitive–depending–in the workplace, school, or whatever. He need to learn at an early age that work or play, nothing is given–it’s earned. Any little offset and he stormed off, means he’s got plenty to learn–I did earlier in life. Giving him easy wins will give him the swollen ego of entitlement and to cry everytime things get hard.
So, you turned the game night that everyone in your family looks forward to in a ”life school” for your ten years old brother? Yeah, you are such a great human being. Just wow.
NTA but it’s hard when the older sibling always wins. Next time you play ask him how he wants it to go – does he want you to go easy on him, play medium or play as hard as you can? That way he can have fun but it’s not that he beat you (or vice versa) but that you guys had fun at a casual level instead of a super-competitive match.
You lapped him 2-3 times what are you supposed to do sit on your phone while he tries to make it around the course? That would have made me mad as a kid because at that point you aren’t even playing with me your just there. When I was his age I remember NFS hot pursute 2 was a go to for me and my dad to play sure he would take it easy on me time to time but for the most part we were going hard. The sense of accomplishment when I would beat him was great but even that brought a new lesson of being a humble winner. Your NTA we all have to learn how to take a loss with dignity no matter the age along with how to be kind when we win so other well still want to play again.
Why is your family playing games of skill on family game night? Why are they pairing someone with skill against a younger opponent without skill? That was poor planning.
You were not an asshole for winning. You were an asshole for lapping him and playing multiple rounds — in other words, rubbing his nose in it.
Yes, he needs to learn to lose gracefully.
Your parents need to learn a better strategy for family game night, one where everyone has a chance to win and have fun. Even the little kids.
What he’s learning now is that family game night SUCKS. I say that as someone who isn’t good at games and refuses to participate in group game nights because they’re not fun for me AT ALL. Why would I want to play knowing I’m going to lose ALL THE TIME? It isn’t fun, and that’s supposed to be the point.