This is a cross post from AITA*
I’m not going to add to many personal details just in case there’s family on reddit..
It has been almost a year since this situation occurred and I can’t help but think ITAH because it’s still causing problems in the family. Almost a year ago my sister got married, she’s the baby in the family and the first sibling to get married. Her wedding date was one week before I was due with my baby. This pregnancy was not planned and I was on birth control so it came as a shock.
Even though it was so close to my due date I was planning on going (also for context we live in 2 different states about a 2 hour plane ride or 12 hour car ride) I wanted to be there for her special day. Fast forward to the middle of my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, preclampsia as well as the fact my placenta was not fully attached to the uterus walls around the edges( I forgot the specific diagnosis for this)
I let my family know that unfortunately I was unable to attend due to being a high risk pregnancy and didn’t think anything of it, that it would be forgiven I wasn’t attending due to this situation. I ended up needed to be induced due to these complications a few days before the wedding. When I had let my family know I had the baby everyone congratulated me, except my sister.
I chalked it up to her getting everything ready for her big day and didn’t think twice about it. Fast forward to the wedding day, I texted my sister congratulating her and telling her how proud I was of her. That I wished her the best in her marriage and I was sorry I couldn’t be there. No response, again I chalked it up to her being busy. Until I saw her Snapchat where she was posting videos of herself and the bridesmaids getting ready. I was hurt.
I talked to my mom about the situation and she made the excuse of ” well she was getting ready for her wedding, she was busy”. So she was to busy to send a text back to me but not to post stories to her Snapchat as the day progressed? My parents are always making excuses about her behavior because she’s the baby. It’s still an issue to this day I didn’t attend the wedding and I’ve been thinking about cutting my family off because of how I’ve been treated over something I had no control over.
Also for context, I have been told by multiple family members ” You could have planned better” or ” you shouldn’t expect her to congratulate you on the baby when you didn’t come to her wedding” they don’t seem to understand how severe my complications with this pregnancy were. AITA?
Edit: We had a great relationship beforehand, we would talk or text constantly and would make sure to be the first ones to tell each other happy birthday etc. She never congratulated me on the baby and refused to acknowledge anything I send of the baby. When I still constantly try to reach out to see how she’s doing. When I was talking to our mother, she let it slip how my sister was upset I wasn’t there.
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Backup of the post’s body: This is a cross post from AITA*
I’m not going to add to many personal details just in case there’s family on reddit..
It has been almost a year since this situation occurred and I can’t help but think ITAH because it’s still causing problems in the family. Almost a year ago my sister got married, she’s the baby in the family and the first sibling to get married. Her wedding date was one week before I was due with my baby. This pregnancy was not planned and I was on birth control so it came as a shock.
Even though it was so close to my due date I was planning on going (also for context we live in 2 different states about a 2 hour plane ride or 12 hour car ride) I wanted to be there for her special day. Fast forward to the middle of my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, preclampsia as well as the fact my placenta was not fully attached to the uterus walls around the edges( I forgot the specific diagnosis for this)
I let my family know that unfortunately I was unable to attend due to being a high risk pregnancy and didn’t think anything of it, that it would be forgiven I wasn’t attending due to this situation. I ended up needed to be induced due to these complications a few days before the wedding. When I had let my family know I had the baby everyone congratulated me, except my sister.
I chalked it up to her getting everything ready for her big day and didn’t think twice about it. Fast forward to the wedding day, I texted my sister congratulating her and telling her how proud I was of her. That I wished her the best in her marriage and I was sorry I couldn’t be there. No response, again I chalked it up to her being busy. Until I saw her Snapchat where she was posting videos of herself and the bridesmaids getting ready. I was hurt.
I talked to my mom about the situation and she made the excuse of ” well she was getting ready for her wedding, she was busy”. So she was to busy to send a text back to me but not to post stories to her Snapchat as the day progressed? My parents are always making excuses about her behavior because she’s the baby. It’s still an issue to this day I didn’t attend the wedding and I’ve been thinking about cutting my family off because of how I’ve been treated over something I had no control over.
Also for context, I have been told by multiple family members ” You could have planned better” or ” you shouldn’t expect her to congratulate you on the baby when you didn’t come to her wedding” they don’t seem to understand how severe my complications with this pregnancy were. AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
NTA for not attending the wedding, but definitely the AH for thinking that your sister should be focused on you and your feelings on her wedding day. You’re being childish.
Your family are the AH. “You should’ve planned better”?? How do they suppose you should’ve done that? Sowed your vagina shut so the baby wouldn’t come out? Told your glucose and blood pressure to relax? Makes total sense /s I would cut them off or at the very least just not attempt to engage with them. Very despicable behavior to treat someone that way over a situation completely out of your hands, especially family. What grinds my gears even more was the fact your pregnancy was so high risk, your life was essentially on the line and they could’ve lost a daughter, and a sister and all they care about is you not risking your life and your child’s life to attend a wedding… I’m so mad for you
Not enough info
What makes you think it was or is an issue? Has your sister said anything?
Did your sister ever got back to you or congratulated you on your baby? Have you guys that all ever since?
You have a healthy child – that is what is important – not if your sister was miffed and didn’t respond to your text. People need to let this stuff go and stop holding grudges for years.