Has an ex ever reached out to you with an apology, years after the relationship ended? If so, how did that go?
Has an ex ever reached out to you with an apology, years after the relationship ended? If so, how did that go?
r/AskMen
Has an ex ever reached out to you with an apology, years after the relationship ended? If so, how did that go?
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Ex’s are ex’s for a reason
It wasn’t years, but it was months after we broke up.
She sent a string of text messages where she apologized for how things ended, said how much I had been on her mind lately, and just wanted things to be all good between us.
We talked on the phone about an hour later. It was a good chat.
We haven’t spoken since but it was good to have things cordial between us and no bad vibes.
It was a fake apology she and claimed she wanted my cat. I’m thinking things didn’t work out with her new boyfriend and she was hoping to get back together with me but switched over to the cat excuse when I made it clear there was nothing between us.
He showed his face at a fundraiser I did in memory of my daughter. I assume it was some sort of apology but that’s as far as it goes.
Once. It was a girl from high school; but we weren’t ex’s for anything particularly bad. Just wasn’t a great mix and she had lots of family problems happen.
We video chatted for 20-30 minutes about 10 years after that. She was living with her boyfriend and kid across the province. She seemed sad. I think she wanted to potentially reconcile and maybe meet up, but I told her I had moved on.
Yes. Twice.
First one. We were very young and she treated me like a plaything.
About 15 years later she found me online and reached out to me to apologize. She said that looking back she felt a deep shame about “being the villain in someone’s story”
She said she was young and stupid and sorry about what she did.
It honestly stunned me. And it helped a lot with me moving forward and releasing that trauma which I coincidentally was actively seeing a therapist about.
I forgave her. We are still good friends to this day. And I have enormous respect for her now. She was young and stupid and not thinking about consequences when she hurt me. And she had the courage to right that wrong.
The second was an ex who struggled with alcohol. When we broke up her life kind of fell apart from drinking. She reached out to me and apologized for everything she had done. And hinted at getting back together. I told her I appreciated that, and that I hoped she got help for her addiction. I told her to go to an AA meeting (she had quit drinking before through AA).
That’s the last we ever spoke.
Yes. Also, my high school crush who declined my invite to prom reached out to tell me she should have said Yes. My boss at my first full-time job—who fired me after asking for a raise—reached out to tell me it was his biggest professional blunder and offered me a promotion and 20% above the raise I had asked for. Another prior boss—super hot and married with kids—reached out to tell me she’d have given it all up for a night with me. Oh, and my gym crush walked over right after I finished a set of 50 consecutive pull-ups and told me she’s always had eyes for me.
And then I woke up.
9 times outta 10 its for them to release some of the guilt they’ve felt over the years. It’s almost always self-serving, even if it’s a positive. When this has happened I’ve said something along the lines of “I’m happy you’re making some positive changes and appreciate the gesture but I’m in a good place and don’t think we should revisit what has happened in the past.” to which they almost never respond anyway because they got that monkey off their back.
My ex reached out to me after we broke up (like 2-3 months after). She stated that she was sorry because her long time friends died and she finally understood what it was like to have someone close die.
The reason we broke up because I wasn’t acting like myself after my Mom passed. I guess people gotta learn themselves.
I honestly was cool at that point but we’ve moved on.
Yes…and It was more hurtful than helpful.
Growth happens. I am on good terms with two ex’s. First one was messy and involved kids, it took us both nearly a decade to realize we weren’t enemies. We stayed civil for the kids, but were not on good terms. In recent years, we have both made apologies and have had some friendly chats. We are different people than we were 15 years ago, both having grown and matured, and I would now consider us friends.
Second one ended on good terms, and she apologized for it despite none being needed. Her goals and needs had changed and she had felt that she was holding me back from being happy. I disagreed at the time, but 5 years later I know she was more aware of my needs than I was (yay depression and ADHD).
Will either of those relationships ever rekindle? Highly unlikely. What they want in a relationship and what I want or can offer are very different things. Does not mean we cannot be friends, hang out or help each other out from time to time. Maturity and forgiveness can be powerful in all areas of life.
Yes, probably three years after talking last. She said she was really sorry for how she’d treated me, that I was a good person and she was a piece of shit with a ton of issues, she went into those issues a little bit but said that they weren’t an excuse, and that she wanted to meet up in person but would totally understand if I didn’t want to.
We met up in person a week or two later and had a nice, uneventful lunch. Over the next several months she wormed her way back into my life, told me she loved me, and asked to start hooking up again. I reminded her she had a boyfriend, and she said that she wasn’t ready to break up with him, and so I told her I wasn’t interested in being an accessory to cheating. Then she started spreading false rumors about me and generally made my life hell much in the same way that she had years earlier.
Scorpion and the frog.
Then she eventually ended up cheating on her boyfriend with a much older married man whose wife she worked with, it came out, and she quickly moved away in shame.
She would need to acknowledge that she was an abusive person in order to do that, so no.
Years after my divorce, my ex-wife reached out with an apology. I told her I accepted it gladly but I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive her fully. It cleared the air and it was much easier to talk to her afterwards whenever I need to.
Had a fiancée cheat on me about 10 years ago. She reached out about 4 years ago and we talked briefly.
I held on to my hate of her for so long that I forgave her more for my benefit than hers.
I don’t know why she reached out but I’m glad I was able to put it behind me. We never talked again.
Yes. It went well; she was heartfelt. She told me because of her circumstances (dire) she essentially took a better deal. I appreciated the honesty. Also, I can’t really argue with her because she is living a great life.
That was the one apology I’ve received, and I hold her in high regard because of it. Accountability and closure are very meaningful to me as they are so rare.
She took ownership for a lot of the things she did. It felt genuine and I appreciated it. At the same time, it didn’t take away the years of pain I endured due to her decisions. I think a lot of folks struggle thinking of long term consequences and they don’t understand you can’t take back the things you did or said.
reached out? yes, and told me how good she was doing now with her new family and all, saying I was toxic and all… so that was a great time!
…pretty weird, just leave me alone, we grew apart, we were teenagers.
Yeah my ex fiancee did. We actually made up and were friends until she moved to a different state. Still friends, but just less contact.
How did what go? The apology? How apologies usually go. No reason to reject such an apology. Also no reason to stay in contact.
Years – no, months – yes.
Multiple times.
I acknowledged their apology and then we just continued separate ways.
She called me years later. I was in my 20s, about to get married. I had dated this girl when I was 16.
It pretty much was the elevator scene in mad men. “oh..I don’t think about you at all. Anything else?”
Kind of. I found out my ex cheated on me with a “friend” so divorced and ghosted her. Didn’t even tell her I knew. Saw her in court but had a sheriff and my lawyer keep her away from me. Almost for years later, I flew down to see her dad because we got super tight and she doesn’t live with them. I guess her mom decided to tell her I’d be, and she caught me leaving her parents’ place headed to my hotel. She was flipping out crying, so we got in the car and told me she hadn’t dated since and she really wanted to fix us. Ngl it took everything I had not to physically throw her out of the car. I told her if she ever pulled this shit again id get a restraining order. Also told her dad that what his wife did and will k not be there again. Now he fly to see me or we’ll meet in Vegas for a weekend.
Nope. Not once. I don’t expect she ever will.
No he was an asshole and would never apologize
It was part of her 12 step program. All in all, it went well enough. She’s still clean to my knowledge, married, and with kids.
Never.
I always thought it would happen, but never did.
At this point, I don’t care.
My monkey brain bothers me with this one.
God forbid if they weren’t able to cut their exes and former FWB’s out of their lives, WHEN I was dating them. But somehow they magically gain that ability when it came to me.
Makes me feel like a speck of dust. I’m not here waiting for an apology or anything, but even a “fuck you” would suffice in a way
We broke up because she had been talking to another guy in another state and wanted to be with him. He was coming to see her and thats when I found out about him. I was basically told to get lost. The joke was on her because he found someone back home and came to break it off with her in person. Days later she tries to come back to me and apologizes for what happened and wanted me back. My ability to trust her was gone and who wants to know they were second choice? I kindly told her to lose my number.
I had one week where on Sunday I crashed my bike in a road race. Bike destroyed. My body was banged up all over especially my knee. Then on Tuesday I was fired from my job. And on Friday my girlfriend of 3 years announced that she cheated on me and left me that same day. Those are the moments in your life that you learn if you would ever kill yourself.
Well a year later my ex came back sorry and wanted to get back together. So I did and this time she became abusive physically as well as emotionally. She ended up getting addicted to psychedelic drugs which I understand is extremely rare. She then quit her good paying job and lost her house while she was tripping all over south America. She ended up getting knocked up by some random Ecuadorian guy and she came back and is now a single mother.
Even though I’m happily married now. I’ll carry my resentment towards her the rest of my life. She can go F herself for all of eternity.
So NO. Do not take an Ex back, EVER!
I had an ex break up with me after we had been dating for about 3 years and getting serious. I thought we were gonna get married.
She cheated on me with a guy (married) from work and just went NC. I came home from work one day and all her shit was just gone. No texts, nothing. Blocked me.
After about 3 months, she finally realized the guy she was cheating with was never going to leave his family for her and he basically dumped her. She showed up at my front door. She looked like shit, she had been crying. I rejected her attempt to hug me when I answered the door and basically told her I was no longer an option for her and just closed the door.
About 2 years later she contacted me and told me how sorry she was, that she deeply regrets her actions and what she did to me, that I was the best thing that ever happened in her life, and she mourns the life she missed out on and the children we never got to raise and the family she’ll never have.
I had moved on by this point but honestly it bought back a ton of memories (good and bad) and actually made me feel like shit for a while. I’m not sure I needed to hear it.
He better not be. Why would he? I don’t need the apology after some time (if that was the case that they did me wrong) I just like to move on and not give them any more time.
Sure. A year after we broke up and I was dating someone else (whom I later married), she said she was sorry and regretted losing me. I said that was sweet but that at least I was in a much better relationship now so she should move on. She did but still held a flame for decades.
If she did, I would be suspicious about her intent. One thing I learned about her, is she doesn’t do anything nice to me without having an ulterior motive.
One other thing people need to be aware of is that 12 step programs often have people apologize to people that they have wrong in the past.
They did but it wasn’t an apology. It was a “I’m sorry that you felt that way” dressed as an apology. It did nothing but make my blood boil and get me even more riled up.
LOL, I know one of them was still bashing me 10 years after the fact.
I was the ex. Reached out, gave a genuine, point by point breakdown of how dog shit i was to her, apologized, but did not ask forgiveness.
She gave it anyway. I still reach out once a year or so and ask how she’s doing, merely as an old friend. All in all, id say it went rather decent.
Same ex, multiple attempts to reach out…
She HAD to apologize for lying to me the whole time we were together (I had assumed I was the “other man” for a while throughout the relationship; but her finally admitting it and putting it all out on paper, god I was vindicated. Too bad it didn’t help me move past any of the damage that woman has done to me… Where the hell you are SJC, I hope it burns when you pee