Comparing myself to other people’s presentation of their lives. Getting involved in stupid arguments that I don’t need to be part of. Taking criticism from people I don’t know or care about. See also: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram.
Friends. They ask for too much. I don’t want to give anymore than I ask for, but it never happens that way. I miss having a good friendship with someone but now i enjoy my alone time more than I should.
I gave up a lot of my Worry. I worried about so many things that could have happened but never did. Then my wife said to me, “Wait and see what really happens.” Doing that has been a game changer.
I felt like I was responsible for my ex-wife’s happiness and had failed as a husband, and that’s why she cheated on me. Once I realized that we are all accountable for our actions and blaming others for our shitty behavior is just an excuse, I released a lot of the guilt and sadness I had carried.
I’m still working on letting go. I thought I had, but really I just buried a bunch of stuff. Accidentally got a family and all those problems seem to have resurfaced to a lesser degree.
Anger is now frustration, bitterness is envy, loneliness and depression are ever present… Not to the point that they cause major problems, hut they’re always seething in the background waiting to escape. Probably something to do with my comparative mindset. I’ve always been trying to figure out how to improve, why I didn’t fit in. That seems to have shifted to a comparison of people’s reactions to me vs that of others. Why do others get more enthusiastic responses, why do they get more leeway in their missteps? I really need to figure out how to get over the initial response of people and remind myself constantly that it’s the deeper response over time that matters. Intuitively I know this, but making it an unconscious knowledge that replaces bad tendencies is difficult. I grew up with a scarcity mindset.
Outside of occasionally arguing with strangers on Reddit to waste time, politics.
I still vote and will follow stories in the news that have a direct impact on my industry for the sake of my career, but I no longer listen to political podcasts or doomscroll on social media, I unsubbed from Reddit subs like politics and conspiracy, and I muted my RL friends on social media who post too much political content.
I gave up expecting my country to be better than it is. After this election I realized that most Americans are just shitty people. After accepting that (and not “we didn’t explain it right” or “these are complex issues that people don’t understand”), I’m not as stressed or depressed. This is just the natural outcome.
Holding onto my own negative self thoughts. Through therapy I was able to accept that they’re just thoughts and I can move on from them accepting that they’re not helpful to me.
For a long time I used to internalize negative self talk and let it get me down a lot but with therapy and a lot of hard work I’ve been able to actively work through it.
Trying to be what they want instead of who I authentically am. Had to lose a few relationships with people who reacted badly or told me I was being selfish. Don’t miss those people at all.
Guilt. I was talking to my therapist about some procrastination habits and how that led to guilt and shame and I would spiral. She said, “have you tried just not feeling guilty?” At first, that felt like a quack thing to say, but then I thought about it and worked on it and it actually helped. Letting go of unhelpful emotions really helps.
Attachment in general, which I have been working on with meditation. Particularly around productivity. I have ADHD and tend to beat myself up for not getting enough done, so learning to ignore that impulse has done wonders for me. Still a work in progress, though.
Comments
Most social media
Comparing myself to other people’s presentation of their lives. Getting involved in stupid arguments that I don’t need to be part of. Taking criticism from people I don’t know or care about. See also: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram.
Sugar and Social Media. Taken up Stoicism
Hope
Alcohol and Facebook
Attachment. 😜
Several exes
Never watch the news and delete all social media
Friends. They ask for too much. I don’t want to give anymore than I ask for, but it never happens that way. I miss having a good friendship with someone but now i enjoy my alone time more than I should.
Past.
Alcohol
I gave up a lot of my Worry. I worried about so many things that could have happened but never did. Then my wife said to me, “Wait and see what really happens.” Doing that has been a game changer.
Worrying if strangers approve of my life or not.
Porn
My relationship with my toxic mother.
Ego and pride.
An ex girlfriend or two unfortunately 🤦🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️😂
I’ll take ” things that did not go well in life over the past decade, for $500″ please.
The idea of having a sexuality
Having reactions to everything.
Just let dumb people be.
Nicotine.
I felt like I was responsible for my ex-wife’s happiness and had failed as a husband, and that’s why she cheated on me. Once I realized that we are all accountable for our actions and blaming others for our shitty behavior is just an excuse, I released a lot of the guilt and sadness I had carried.
My mother
Watching cable news.
They don’t need my eyeballs.
My soul doesn’t need their form of infotainment.
I’m still working on letting go. I thought I had, but really I just buried a bunch of stuff. Accidentally got a family and all those problems seem to have resurfaced to a lesser degree.
Anger is now frustration, bitterness is envy, loneliness and depression are ever present… Not to the point that they cause major problems, hut they’re always seething in the background waiting to escape. Probably something to do with my comparative mindset. I’ve always been trying to figure out how to improve, why I didn’t fit in. That seems to have shifted to a comparison of people’s reactions to me vs that of others. Why do others get more enthusiastic responses, why do they get more leeway in their missteps? I really need to figure out how to get over the initial response of people and remind myself constantly that it’s the deeper response over time that matters. Intuitively I know this, but making it an unconscious knowledge that replaces bad tendencies is difficult. I grew up with a scarcity mindset.
Giving a fuck about things that are either out of my control or won’t be changing anytime soon.
Outside of occasionally arguing with strangers on Reddit to waste time, politics.
I still vote and will follow stories in the news that have a direct impact on my industry for the sake of my career, but I no longer listen to political podcasts or doomscroll on social media, I unsubbed from Reddit subs like politics and conspiracy, and I muted my RL friends on social media who post too much political content.
Games
Drugs
Reaching out to my friend group, they never do it in return unless they need something so I can put the energy to better use
Alcohol
My ex wife.
Toxic people.
Alcohol, women
Was never on social media
The news and hustle-culture
Toxic people, Twitter and Coffee
Deleting most social media accounts. Distancing myself from toxic family members and their drama.
Instagram/Discord and porn
Giving a shit.
I gave up expecting my country to be better than it is. After this election I realized that most Americans are just shitty people. After accepting that (and not “we didn’t explain it right” or “these are complex issues that people don’t understand”), I’m not as stressed or depressed. This is just the natural outcome.
Holding onto my own negative self thoughts. Through therapy I was able to accept that they’re just thoughts and I can move on from them accepting that they’re not helpful to me.
For a long time I used to internalize negative self talk and let it get me down a lot but with therapy and a lot of hard work I’ve been able to actively work through it.
r/stopdrinking
News
Trying to be what they want instead of who I authentically am. Had to lose a few relationships with people who reacted badly or told me I was being selfish. Don’t miss those people at all.
Merchandise. It’s just “this cool thing I have” and it’s useless or unnecessary.
Less clutter and more money makes brain happier.
Quitting a job.
Caring about what people think
Perpetual search for novelty and “something different” both in experiences and people. Stability in life is my jam now.
Guilt. I was talking to my therapist about some procrastination habits and how that led to guilt and shame and I would spiral. She said, “have you tried just not feeling guilty?” At first, that felt like a quack thing to say, but then I thought about it and worked on it and it actually helped. Letting go of unhelpful emotions really helps.
Caring what people thinks and or have to say.
A ship doesn’t sink because of the water outside. It sinks from the water within.
Attachment in general, which I have been working on with meditation. Particularly around productivity. I have ADHD and tend to beat myself up for not getting enough done, so learning to ignore that impulse has done wonders for me. Still a work in progress, though.
Caring what other people thought of me & the choices I’ve made in my life.
Work. It’s just to pay for the fun shit I do in life. If I die they will replace me right away. So why die or stress about a job?