My bf of 8 years is planing on moving with new roommates.
In 2023 he moved to his first place a studio & I would always be over. 2024 he moved to a new place with a roommate & I essentially moved in, 90% always there.
Now hes planing on moving in w 3 friends in a new place because it’ll save him money & he gets to be with friends.
But he told me that the friends told him I can only visit but I cant move in with him, theyre agreeing to move in with him since theyre his friends, im not, it feels unwelcoming.
Its the wishes of the friends that Im not around 100% of the time and more that i just visit, so my boyfriend wouldnt want to be inconsiderate.
And also this move would save him money. I only contribute a little rent wise like $200. So its not for me to say but I still feel sad about it since I was living with my boyfriend.
TLDR: bf moving with new roommates who dont want me moving in too
Comments
Have you two discussed moving in together before?
Is one of the people he’s moving in with his current roommate? Being over 90% of the time and only chipping in $200 is a pretty bad look imo
Why, after 8 years, wouldn’t you be moving in together?
Your bf has given notice on his current rental contract which means that neither he, nor you (his guest) can stay there anymore.
If you and your bf wanted to live together, you would have gone and found a place where the two of you could do that and, most likely, also share rent. The two of you didn’t do that. Why? Did you even have the conversation?
I’m curious if your $200/month went to your bf or went to the roommate. If it went to your bf, I’d be pissed as hell if I were his roommate. Roommate should get at least $200 for having you in the place 90% of the time.
Your bf chose to move to a place that is cheaper for him, but it’s another roommate situation so he doesn’t get to have a permanent house guest. This is perfectly normal in a roommate situation. It’s EXASPERATING when you have a roommate who thinks it’s fine to have a “guest” there all the time.
I understand you’re sad. But don’t blame the roommates. You and your bf have been together for EIGHT years. If you want to live together you need to communicate about that and you also need to be prepared to pay your own way.
How is your relationship going? After eight years, it sounds like your bf is over it. Where do you “officially” live?
Time to grow up. You need your own life. Bf obviously doesnt want you around that much or he wouldnt have chosen this living arrangement. If his friends consider you rude house guest who overstays her welcome, what other terrible manners do you have?
It is reasonable to ask girlfriends and boyfriends to not be there all the time. One if they aren’t paying anything but live there. Two because it changes the house dynamics. Have you two any future plans? Like marriage etc? Talked about it. Men this age tend to like to have all the benefits of a girlfriend but don’t see you in their future which actually wastes your time in finding a mate. Don’t waste your time. Biological time is precious and people tend to give the impression to people its not. It is. Its quite difficult to conceive after 35.