I (25F) was a bridesmaid for my cousin (26F). We were each asked to pay $160 to split a hotel room for the night before the wedding. I arrived late due to confusion but kept the MOH (20F, bride’s sister) updated. When I went to get ready in the shared room, the bride said I couldn’t use the bathroom because she wanted to sleep, so I used my parents’ room. Later, I was told I’d be sleeping on the pull-out couch since I was “last to arrive.” I asked why I paid $160 for a sofa, and she said if I had a problem, she’d refund me. I said I’d rather sleep in my parents’ room, and she got mad, saying I could only get my money back if I slept on the couch. I dropped it to avoid drama. Now that the wedding is over, would I be wrong to ask for the refund?
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I (25F) was a bridesmaid for my cousin (26F). We were each asked to pay $160 to split a hotel room for the night before the wedding. I arrived late due to confusion but kept the MOH (20F, bride’s sister) updated. When I went to get ready in the shared room, the bride said I couldn’t use the bathroom because she wanted to sleep, so I used my parents’ room. Later, I was told I’d be sleeping on the pull-out couch since I was “last to arrive.” I asked why I paid $160 for a sofa, and she said if I had a problem, she’d refund me. I said I’d rather sleep in my parents’ room, and she got mad, saying I could only get my money back if I slept on the couch. I dropped it to avoid drama. Now that the wedding is over, would I be wrong to ask for the refund?
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Who slept in the room and how many beds were there? How did you end up on the couch?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I pressed the bride in the moment that I should just sleep on the sofa since I was already late. She also pointed out that if I had any issues with the room, I could have asked for more details between booking the room and the night of. If I ask for the money, she might never even give it & I would have started a fight over no reward. At the end of the day, she’s my cousin and I love her. The bride said Im the AH for even pushing the subject as she apparently suggested the refund as an offhand remark.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA – The bride wanting to sleep the night before her wedding seems reasonable? You getting the fold out because you arrived last also seems fair enough. Did you expect everyone to accommodate you because of the unspecified confusion? It’s her wedding, not yours – just make the most of it and don’t ask the bride for $160. YTA
YTA.
You paid to stay in a room, not for a specific bed. Why couldn’t you sleep on the pull out exactly?
And even bigger AH for causing drama over this during your friends wedding.
Info: did you know there was a possibility you wouldn’t be getting a bed when you paid?
If you were both paying 160 and everyone else got a bed and you were never told you were getting a couch I’d ask for a partial refund. If you were paying an equal amount you should have gotten a bed. I’d feel bad splitting a room 50-50 with someone if I was getting a bed and the other a pull out sofa
INFO: What exactly was communicated/agreed upon when these arrangements were made?
You mean a pull-out sofa as in the one that turns into a bed? I mean, it would be more uncomfortable most likely but it’s still a bed isn’t it?
How many people were sharing this room the night before the wedding?
This plays a huge role in the cost and A$$hole decision.
YTA/NTA
I feel there is a little bit of both going on here. I feel like the whole room situation was a debacle and you got jobbed. I’m sorry but if I’m paying for a hotel room, I’m using the bathroom. The whole “I’ll only give you a refund if you sleep on the couch” statement seems like a straight control move. Whether you’re on the couch or in another room makes no difference. For $160 I would expect more.
My issue is I wouldn’t have made a big deal at the time, and simply addressed it later as you are now.
Info: how late did you arrive? What time was it when you went back to the room after showering?