TLDR: My gf asked if something happens and I could only save her or our baby, who would I choose. I said I would choose her. My reasoning was we can always make another baby. Now she is mad at me.
Edit: We do not have any child at the moment or expecting any AFAIK.
Edit #2: She didn’t specify the age of the child.
Comments
Ohhh buddy no. You failed the test.
Dude – she might be trying to tell you she’s pregnant, or wants to be.
I REALLY hope this is just rage bait and not someones actual thought process
No wonder why she’s mad, you were supposed to say neither
What’s your question?
It sounds like your girlfriend asked a silly hypothetical and is mad when you didn’t give the answer she wants.
Dump her and start hanging out with people who don’t set you up to fail.
She better have that attitude when she’s paying for diapers
“A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?”
YTA
wasn’t this story posted just a few days ago but with the gf opinion switched? the wording is identical
She asked you the impossible question. No good answer. I don’t know how to help you, guy.
This is the difference between men and women. Just know 110 times out of 100 she would save the baby. This is not a flaw but our natural programming. Hell, in the wild some animals eat their young if they know they won’t survive, because they can always make more.
Dear god you’re stupid
It’s a tough question with no easy answer, but how serious was the conversation when she asked? Was it a hypothetical debate, or did it come up during an emotional or stressful moment? The way you responded may have felt cold or dismissive to her, even if that wasn’t your intention.
Did you talk with her afterwards to explain your reasoning with more care and listen to how she felt?
If she said that- keep the baby away from her. That’s sick. I’m a mom and I would always choose a child over an adult. I love my sons but if my grandkids were in harms way- I know I’d try to help them first. No question.
“Do these pants make my butt look fat?”
I mean tbh yeah as a woman that sounds like the right answer to me
I wouldn’t be mad, but it’s obvious you should always save kids first because they are helpless and don’t know what to do!
That’s totally messed up
Ummmm do you have a baby? It’s a dumb question…. But if you don’t have a baby you would probably say spouse/partner. If you have a baby???? Idk how anyone could say anything besides their baby. No matter the gender.
This is rage bait yall, no father, or mother, would actually say this. And if they did, I’m just glad they’re not MY mother/father.
Seriously OP if this is your reasoning, you’re so unfit to be a parent I genuinely feel bad for your child.
YTA…. using logic like “we can always make another baby” implies you have no emotional connection to the baby you already have and that the baby is “replaceable ”
When a women ask if you would save her or her child…. ALWAYS choose the child, This will win the women’s love and devotion!!
This must be rage bait
Yta. From one father to another you fucked up 😂😂😂 apologize and don’t dig the hole any deeper
You can’t replace all person, this includes children. I sincerely hope the product of your own being is more important than your gf next time around. There’s a strong need to protect a baby that is yours and it usually outweighs your partner. By the same thought process, you can get a new gf.
Instead of saying we can always make another baby you could have said :- I have a strong bond and love for you as compared to our baby cause I know you for a longer time than our baby
But instead you made it sound like she was a baby making machine 💀
How about, That’s an unfair question, trying to test me, how am I supposed to know what I’d do in the moment
Yes you are
If the baby doesn’t exist yet, the question is irrelevant. I’m always going to pick a real person over a hypothetical one that I have no feelings for. She loves an idea, not a person.
I’m a woman and your answer is correct.
Dude, you got caught in the trap! Whenever asked a life question like that, and yes, I’m a woman, always say: interesting question let’s talk about that. How do you feel?… Decide together.
I agree with you. I told my doctors and my husband I came first, and if it came down to it, to save me. Especially on my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies as I had kids who needed their mom more than they needed a sibling and a widowed father.
No lies detected OP. When our oldest got pregnant with the 3rd: different story she already had pre teens with uninvolved fathers. Made me promise, momma if it’s me or the baby, please let me live because my kids would have no one. And was willing to stand behind it. Thankfully no decision like that had to be made. But would have honored her wishes
Honestly this question is dependent on the age of the child. As a mother, if this was during birth and the choice is me or my newborn baby, I know my husband would pick me.
If it’s anything outside of that situation, then you save the kid because you would think the other adult is equally capable of at least helping themselves while you save the kid.
“If you feel there is even a chance of that happening, then I am unworthy of being a father and husband. You deserve someone who would never let it come to that”
I would assume she would mean before the child was born? Like if it was a life threatening pregnancy issue verses if your actual born baby was dying. During pregnancy I always told my husband it was his choice if he had to decide and I wouldn’t hold it against him either way. It would be a lot losing your spouse, seeing them be basically an incubator, then having to figure out how to raise a baby completely on your own in this economy (we have no family). Now that he’s here both of us would die for this little boy in a heartbeat.
“Everyone hated that baby!”
ESH. It’s a bad question with no positive answer.
Still your answer suggests that the baby has no value– that an infant is an object that can be easily replaced.
If you save baby over mom, you’re the hero for saving a new life and she’s the hero for dying a valiant death for her child.
So both scenarios are bad but you did, in fact, fail the test because you gave an answer which seems to convey a greater lack of empathy, regardless of whether or not it’s true.
Im assuming you don’t have kids. Otherwise, your answer would be very different, and you’d understand why.
I’m with you, but many many of my friends say they’d want the baby saved. I don’t understand it personally and I am a parent.
I would leave my husband if he answered the way you did.
Yes.
The real question is how old are the two of you and what are political and religious backgrounds.
Me as a 27 y/o woman… save me. My parents couldn’t handle burying me. My little cousins look up to me. And my brother and I already lost our oldest brother. It’ll be the worst pain I’ve ever endured but I’ll recover one day.
At 18 my answer was save the baby. It’s a personal preference but in my opinion, it’s a child’s answer. Who’s gonna care for this baby? Who’s going to love this baby more than the person who made them? Will the father be able to grieve his partner, while remaining strong for his child? That’s a real question people need to ask themselves.
My husband and I had this conversation. I said you better fucking save me. There’s no right answer. It just depends on the person. She’s an asshole if she holds some type of grudge.
That’s the kind of dumb question that’s just made to start a fight. Your partner is TAH for asking it. What did that accomplish?
As a mother, if you chose me over my child, im leaving you. I probably wouldn’t survive anyway, honestly.
I’m sorry to have to tell you that your gf, along with apparently most of the people in this discussion, is being ridiculous. I take it she was talking about ‘during childbirth’. My husband and I discussed this very issue – like adults – when I was actually pregnant, and if he had even suggested he would prioritise the child over my life I would have been angry and very disappointed.
If it was a ‘test’, it was a very silly one, and probably from somebody who does not really believe in the risks of childbirth.
We’ve been married for 49 years with three kids, and we both know that the kid would come first. We have lived the bulk of our lives, but our kids just got started.
YTA. WTF is wrong with u? Your willing to sacrifice your baby’s life to save your gf. That’s fucked up.
As OP noted, another baby can be made. Also, raising a child knowing that you let the mother die would be a burden that will only resort in loathing and distain. My wife is the love of my life. My children are simply the result. I would rather have love and regret than regret and no love.
This is not the wrong answer. Tho I probubly wouldn’t have said we can just have another.
I can’t say who I would save since I’m not in that position
“I couldn’t possibly survive without you both, dearest.”
Then ease yourself out of the room ;). Maybe to wash some dishes.
this would be the correct answer for me. ive seen this going online on TT and there’s half that say save themselves, the other half says save the baby. guess which side your gf is now? 🙃 it’s just a preference like with most things. you’re NTA to me but to her u def are.
im actually really surprised with everyone agreeing with her. i would hope my partner chose me. a father with a newborn and his wife just died sounds very much so not fun. i am NOT saying a man couldn’t take care of a newborn without a woman but it would be extremely hard. a child needs a mother and i can’t imagine losing my partner and having to take care of a brand new baby. it could also lead to the father resenting the baby for taking away/killing his partner. no children are not “replaceable” but he’s not wrong saying you could make another baby, not another partner. situation would be devastating either way.
This isn’t an “impossible question” this is a very serious real life thing that can happen. I’ve told my boyfriend 1000% save me if something happens, I have another daughter who would be left without her mother. And yes I’ve lost pregnancies before someone says “you must have never lost one”. While it might not be easy to have another one, at least you have the opportunity and you aren’t left raising a child without their mother. NTA
Is the baby already born or would she be pregnant? There’s a huge difference.
The right answer was gripping your chest, falling to the ground, and faking a heart attack.
Once alone in the ambulance with the paramedics, tell them what happened and they will drive you to a hospital on the edge of town staffed with fake nurses and doctors trained to help men married to insane women.
You’re not the first
As a wife and mother, she just wanted to fight. There was no correct answer. That question is ridiculous.
nta me and my bf had this exact discussion and he had the same answer, but i guess people have different opinions to these topics
No, I told my husband the same thing
There was no winning that test.
Because it’s a trap.
Letting your wife die would also earn you some shit.
Respectful partners shouldn’t be testing each other.
Have that conversation.
NTA
Oh people. Because spouses sometimes ask these questions that will probably never happen in real life. What are the chances of you needing to make this choice? 🤣🙄 Holy patience
My wife would never forgive me if I saved her over our children. I couldn’t forgive her either if other way around.
I would lose respect for my partner if he said he would choose me over a helpless baby
I think she’s mad at you for saying you guys could always make another baby.
Tell me you don’t have kids without telling me you don’t have kids. Babies aren’t pets or houseplants you just try again with if one dies. Unless this question is “if there’s a complication during birth/pregnancy who do you tell doctors to save?” You screwed up.
YTA. When your gf breaks up with you, I hope she pushes for full custody.
Don’t procreate for the love of god
She can feel her feelings about not liking the answer to a question she willingly asked, that doesn’t mean your answer was bad or that you’re responsible for her being upset. You answered truthfully and honestly very logically
Nope you’re NTA. You can always try for another baby. People just get emotional and dramatic 🙄
This is an age-old stupid “test” question that you never answer. You have to get out of it. Skirt the issue, debate the pros and cons of each choice for hours. Just don’t answer.
Or just be straightforward and say, “Nope. Sorry, not answering that.” It’s a lose-lose situation. She would have been mad either way.
She was testing you for sure and I don’t think you passed.
Tbh I am torn with this one. With my first baby, I absolutely felt the same way as your partner. But then came the next and my opinion switched.
I have an obligation to live and care for my living, breathing children and I shouldn’t die on them because I selfishly wanted another child.
However, the situation of you needing to choose is very TV drama. Hospitals will do everything to save you both, pretty much at all times. In an OR there’s a team baby and a team mommy, and both will fight their asses off to do what they can simultaneously. Realistically you will not face that choice.
If that happens, I would save my spouse first ofcourse. Why is that abnormal?
That was a no-win argument, pal — and maybe really THINK before making a baby with her. Probably not a great idea.
I think she would be mad no matter what you answered.
These hypothetical questions are stupid.
I’ve been in situations where people have died or almost died. You just don’t know who will step up and react correctly and who will panic and be useless.
What is crazy, is when you see the goofy guy that’s never serious and acts like nothing matters, when shit goes sideways, they all of a sudden start giving orders a making shit happen and afterwards your like “where did that come from?”
NTA- Personally, having strong faith I entered a covenant to my husband when we got married. I promised him and God he’d come before anyone else on earth.
That’s a toughie. She would’ve been mad either way.
My husband and I have always said the hierarchy is that he’ll put me first so I can put the baby first without sacrificing myself. Saying you can “make another one” isn’t exactly the same and comes off as a little sociopathic, but I get what you’re going for. Phrasing could be improved.
I can understand why this hypothetical question has created such tension between you two, and why you’re both feeling unsettled by how it played out.
Your girlfriend asked you an impossible question that many couples wrestle with, often without realizing how loaded it really is. When you answered that you’d choose her, you were likely thinking practically and expressing your deep love for her as your partner. Your reasoning about “making another baby” shows you were approaching this as a problem to solve rather than an emotional scenario to navigate.
But here’s what probably happened from her perspective: she may have been looking for reassurance about your commitment to your future family, or testing how you view your role as a potential father. Many women, especially during pregnancy or when thinking about children, have deep fears about whether their partner will prioritize the child’s wellbeing. Your answer, while logical, might have triggered fears that you don’t yet see this baby as irreplaceable or that you view children as replaceable.
The phrase “we can always make another baby” likely landed particularly hard. Even though you meant it practically, it can sound like you’re reducing a child to something replaceable rather than recognizing each potential life as unique and precious.
Neither of you is the villain here. You answered honestly based on your love for her, and she’s reacting from a place of deep maternal instinct and vulnerability. These hypothetical scenarios often reveal how differently we process love, loss, and family bonds.
Consider having a gentle conversation where you acknowledge that your phrasing was hurtful, even if your intentions were loving. You might explain that your answer came from not wanting to imagine losing her, but that you understand why it made her question your commitment to your future family.
The real question isn’t who you’d save—it’s how you can both feel secure in knowing you’re building a family together where everyone is cherished and irreplaceable.
Don’t take the bait and answer stupid hypothetical questions like that moving forward because she obviously takes them too seriously
That make no difference if u choose babies over ur woman she will be upset and guess what same thing if u choose woman over babies and still mad about it words of advice do not answer the question if she ask u about us or future , run!!!! Avoid it !!!!
NTA. Personally, I would want to be saved. Everyone’s opinion when it comes to this is going to vary so I do think it’s important for couples who could even potentially get pregnant to broach this topic. However your girlfriend didn’t really initiate this conversation in a productive way.
NTA, a fetus hasn’t lived, does not have responsibilities, familial ties. It isnt even a complete human being yet, thats why we call it a fetus. Your partner should take priority UNLESS your partner specifically says ‘the baby comes first’, at that point, you honor your partners wish.
It sucks that you found out your priorities are very different than hers, but its better you learn you may not be a match now before a fetus is made, rather than after
You’re not the idiot. I think the same
This is such a stupid litmus test. You would obviously save both of them.
You have to pick ONE. Yeah, that’s not how real life works.
*I will say “we can always make another one” is heartless as fuck
The fact that you may be the asshole is up for debate. I can see both sides.
What is crystal clear however is that you should start packing your bags and find another place to live. It’s a dumb test, but you definitely failed.
Wow
Rage bait all around lol, girlfriend asked you about a pretend baby?
you said you’d choose your GF – right answer. You could hopefully try again or adopt, but if she wasn’t there it would be sad
I really hate these “tests”. They are just set-ups you cannot win.
Here’s how you can try to win this particular stupid test: tell her you knew she’d save the baby so, you’d save her knowing she’d have the baby in her arms already thus saving them both. Then ask her not to test you anymore.
I would be devastated if my husband chose to save me over our children. Living with that type of loss is unbearable and I certainly wouldn’t be able to stomach being around my husband anymore. Always save the children.
Tbf, any answer would have lost the test. She’s TA for playing these dumb games.
Why would you say that the answer was I’d give myself so you both could live or the baby
nta, bruh you got hypothetical beef with an unborn.
NTA, at least I don’t think so. I’m almost nine months pregnant with our first child and feel the same you do. I told my husband that I’d want him to save me. Maybe that makes me an asshole too, who knows. He and I are life partners and I wouldn’t want to leave him with a newborn on top of the grief he would feel. Ultimately I feel like it’s up to your partner though. It’s a good talk to have before getting pregnant.
As others have said though, in modern medicine, the likelihood of this scenario ever actually happening is pretty much zero.
That’s a pretty unfair question for her to ask you. One thing you could ask her in return is, “does she want her child to grow up without their mother?”
When I was pregnant with both of my children, I made it very clear that if my husband had to choose between me or the baby, he chooses me. Unless the baby has a 90% chance of surviving and i only have a 1% chance, he chooses me. We can have another baby, my children won’t get another mother.
But if it were, say, a house fire, I would want my husband to get the kids out first, no questions asked.
It’s a very complicated and loaded question, and your girlfriend needs to grow up and be a bit more realistic.
YTA. Why would you bring someone into this world and not prioritize them? “We can always make another baby.” Please never procreate.
While I was pregnant I asked my fiance the same question. He answered like you did. At first I was truly hurt and mad, but after talking about it with him i understood. I was hurt because losing a child is no joke and I’d honestly be a totally different person. I wouldn’t know if I’d want to try again because I’d be so heartbroken. It’s scary to think about, but what if it kills me inside and I’m just never the same again. He told me that he’d be there for me and that we’d work through it together. We might not want to try again for a while and that if it happened that we’d go at my pace.
I realized the snap conclusion that we could always have another sounded heartless to me and immediately hit me in my feels. Maybe that’s happening to her. You’re NTA, but it hurts to hear those words concisely even though it comes from love for this human being who is already here.
Edit: I answered before reading some of the comments. I assumed she was pregnant.
If I were her, I’d break up with you. always kid first.
NTA because hypotheticals are stupid for this very reason.
But you save the kid. You always save the kid. I don’t know any decent, normal parent that would say otherwise.
NTA this is an impossible question to win because there is no good or right answer to it. Imo you said the right thing because the child does not exist and your partner is who you currently value over a hypothetical child.
There’s only two possible answers when arguing with some people.. both of them are wrong.
It didn’t matter what your answer was, it was never going to sit well.
NTA, partner every single time. Philosophically, morally, and in every other way, it is the correct choice. Your relationship won’t last because it sounds like she will make her entire existence about children. You might as well just leave some sperm in the freezer and be on your way.
Both my husband and i would choose our kids over each other. They still have long lives to live. Saying you could just make another is absolutely terrible.
Stop answering hypothetical questions
You can’t really win unless you can read her mind and know what she wants. And even just looking at the comments from mothers in this thread already, everyone’s different.
I think the only thing you can really do now is sit down, tell her you’re listening, and ask her to communicate her wishes. These “tests” are not it.
Reddit became Sophie’s Choice real fast tonight…
If the child isn’t born yet, absolutely pick me! But if it’s a living breathing kid or baby then you definitely save the kid.
No you tried to be honest and I see your point but I hate little test like this..
Geez– there’s no right answer here. NTA, but the rationale “we can always make another baby” does sound cold. If and when you have a baby, you will think of this and realize how much that doesn’t happen lol. But you’re not the ah for not knowing what you don’t know. She set you up for failure, and that was uncool.
For next time, here are some great “volley it back to them” answers: “What would you do?” or, “Why do you want to know?” Repeat until the topic changes lol.
Women who ask this question are dumb, and that’s coming from a woman. It’s setting the other person up for failure. Inevitably you should have answered whatever the opposite of what you say.
Just asked my bf the same question (we don’t have kids) his reply was he’d probably die trying to save us both. I was expecting his normal “I’m not digging any holes today babe” reply, some questions just shouldn’t be answered.
NTA. that’s honestly an unfair question to begin with and as most have stated this is a scenario that is very unlikely to ever happen. If it does its completely situational person to person, some would gladly die for their children while others wouldn’t and couldn’t go on without the love of their life. Its known and seen that people who become widowed can and have stopped caring for their kids and themselves due to depression, worse case they un-alive themselves or completely abandon their family.
That is a very normal response. You don’t know this child- it’s just an idea right now. After the child is born and u bond- your answer will 100% change.
“We can always make another one” is by far the worst thing you could have said, are you fucking stupid
I don’t think you’re the AH, I think both of your feelings are natural. I would be in the same mindset as your partner if I was pregnant with my first but things get more complicated when you have other little ones at home. I would also hate to abandon my husband to be a single parent who just lost his wife.
It’s definitely a rock and a hard place-
and FORTUNATELY not a choice you are likely to have to make.
If she’s concerned of it being a real possibility, I would encourage her to communicate with her care team.
NTA. Why do people even ask these stupid hypothetical questions to their significant other… you guys don’t even have a child, so it’s kind of hard to feel a connection to a being that doesn’t exist. Also, it’s just a bad question that doesn’t leave any option for a good answer.
NTA. Your instincts are 100% natural and correct. Your spouse should be the #1 person in your life. If she feels otherwise, she will absolutely pull the plug on your life support if it makes her position better.
NTA. I’d pick your gf too.
There is no right answer to this trap, except maybe ‘I would work so hard to save both of you, and sacrifice my own life for you and the baby.’
NTA
Pre-children, I would have said save me.
After having kids, I say the same.
Past me had the same logic as yours. Present me would rather not leave my children motherless.
Ok I get both sides I feel like. The way I read it made it sound like she was talking about a case of while in delivery. If thats the case Id want my partner to save me. But after reading that she’s mad it almost sounds like she was meaning an older child and thats why shes mad. This is also coming from a childless 20 y/o so if you want take what I say w/ a grain of salt but I’d day nta
I asked the same question (it was a very realistic consideration during our pregnancy). My husband said the exact same thing….”I would choose you, we can make another baby, but there’s only be one you and one relationship with us“.
I never felt so safe or loved. During our labor, the doctors were able to save me and our daughter. But my husband has ptsd from the situation. Losing our spouse would be difficult, but raising a child while grieving the other parent is an unbearable burden
I would probably say, “Whoever is the most savable. Because I would rather at least one of you to survive over neither of you.”
Nta.
This falls into the “would you love me if I was a worm” category.
It’s just to start a fight and shes either too stupid or cowardly to just admit that.
No matter what you say your fucked. Thats why it’s to start a fight ye see. You don’t even have kids or any on the way. Its just a fuck you question to initiate a fight without being obvious so when she talks to her friends she can get sympathy about her asshole bf who either would let her die or would let her baby die.
No winning see?
The only time this is a legit question is pretty much never. It’s always to be a conversation about one’s wishes during a dangerous pregnancy/delivery first. She then could ask to have some clarity to what he would do AFTER she has stated her desires should the worst decision ever occur. But otherwise?
Nuh uh. Thems fightn words. Ignore those stupid ass questions. And her.
When she gripes about being ignored just state you don’t want a fight/answer a question that you always will be an asshole no matter what you say. So your taking the kindest route and moral high ground by simply not picking up the gauntlet she has cast by ignoring it.
My husband always said, if it was between myself and our child, he would choose me.
You were not wrong.
NTA, my friends and I discuss this all the time. We’d want to be saved, no doubt about it. My boyfriend and I talk about it too, and we’re 100% on the same page.
idk what the rest of these commenters are on about LOL
This is a tricky question to test someone on. Let’s say they save the baby and not the mom and the dad and/or siblings and rest of the family don’t take take that well and end up resenting the child. Then that child is subjected to hatred just for existing. But on the other hand let say we save the mother and not the child what would you do if let say there’s complications depending on the situation and the mother is somehow no longer able to have kids. Then what?
It totally depends on the situation. If she was referring to birth, yes, the mother is 1st.
If she was talking being trapped in a fire, no one will know what goes thru their mind at that moment.
There is no good answer to this question however, you save the child because you’d hope the adult can save themselves.
NTA. Your girlfriend asked a stupid question. She isn’t currently pregnant either and you are not trying. She didn’t have a serious discussion, but chose to test you…this was done in a very immature way. If she wanted to discuss hypothetical children, this was not the way to go about it. And then she gets upset about it when she doesn’t get the answer she wants? I suggest you have a serious discussion so you can get on the same page if you ever want to have children with her.
As far as your answer, I don’t think anyone can really give a full 100% answer for that kind of question. Your answer may change when she isn’t pregnant, when she is expecting, and when she is in labor. I can just see people deciding other things in the heat of the moment. I guess a plan would have already been discussed with the doctors and staff beforehand though. I also think most hospitals prioritize mother over baby? Could be wrong.
NTA – this is a Kobayashi Maru, there is no right answer. The best answer is – it would depend on the situation and I’m don’t really know what I would do. What I do know is that I love you and do the best I can do.
I would choose my girl but then I didn’t have kids so I dont have all the information to say for sure. You’re NTA though. The truth never is.
Congratulations you fell for the oldest trick in the book:
> “I’m itching for an argument… let’s get pissed about a hypothetical.”
NTA. I have always felt that the people who are already here matter more than the unknown. It’s also not really a fair question. Rarely if ever would a spouse have to make that call.
Usually the circumstances of the medical problem dictate what happens with the doctors trying to save both, but ultimately focusing on who has the best chance of surviving rather than losing both mother and child.
I think having a conversation about her making her wishes known and written would be appropriate. There are online resources and questionnaires people can download and fill out that detail what the person’s wishes are in a multitude of situations. It’s a kind thing to do because it takes the guesswork out of someone else trying to figure out what the individual’s wishes are. What the question was really about was her wanting to find out if you would respect her choices, and advocate for her if she is unable to do so herself.
Your gf has the emotional maturity of a cucumber. These “tests” are huge red flags, especially if the tester gets pissy about it. You want to go through your life in a constant state of test anxiety? Think carefully.
FWIW, I read years ago that they did a study and asked the question to both men and women. The men overwhelmingly said they’d save their spouse. The women overwhelmingly said they’d save their child.
NTA. I’d expect my partner to choose me over a child we don’t even have lmao
Hell yes, YTA, and you know it.
Yeah, there’s no right answer to this question, but I tried with this:
While I would try with all I had to save the both of you, if it came to it, I would trust you and your ability to save yourself and I would keep our helpless baby safe so you don’t have to worry about her.
NTA
I too would save my partner.