Me (21F) and my partner (21F) broke up. She communicated too late that something was bothering her. Should I get back together with her?

TL;DR Me (21M) and my partner (21F) broke up after 2.5 years. The last half year I was very stressed because of work and trying to reach a goal for a promotion. She supported me but felt drained from my venting and advice-seeking. She said she felt like walking on eggshells and didn’t look forward to spending time together. She told me too late about this because she didn’t want to burden me. I promised to change but she broke up a few weeks later, saying she couldn’t handle it anymore. We agreed on space to think. I love her and want to fix things, but I don’t know if I should get back together or how to feel. What should I do?

So me and my partner have been dating for 2.5 years and the last half year I’ve been extremely stressed due to work. But I’ve been trying to push through, since if I met a certain goal this would set me up for a promotion where I would have more say in my hours and the amount of work. That way, I’d be able to prioritize my private life whenever needed. My partner also supported this.

My anxiety has also flared up. I’m actively seeking help, but it takes time due to waiting lists. She tried to support me during all this, but it took a toll on her. Every time she gave advice, it felt like she had to fix my problems. Most of the times I vented, she felt drained.

She told me that because of my stress, she felt like she had to walk on eggshells. That she started looking less forward to seeing me. This was vague — I didn’t get examples. She said she didn’t know how much longer she could do this.

I told her I was so sorry she felt that way. I never meant to make her feel bad. I said I would figure out what I was doing that made her feel that way. We didn’t have a solution in that moment and were both crying, but I promised her I would do anything for her — I didn’t care what. I told her just because we couldn’t see a solution right now, doesn’t mean there isn’t one. So she didn’t need to worry.

I also asked her why she hadn’t told me sooner, since it now felt like she was almost done and close to breaking up. She said she didn’t think she could tell me, because “you don’t tell your struggling partner that you’re struggling to support them.” She said she wanted to be there for me and that it wasn’t like I chose to be stressed or anxious — so there was no point in telling me since I couldn’t change it.

I told her that there probably was something I could change — even if I didn’t know what yet. I just couldn’t see it in that moment, but I would figure it out. I told her again that I’d do anything.

A few weeks later, she broke up with me. She clarified the problem: the venting, the advice, the energy drain, the pressure to fix things. She said she couldn’t do it anymore.

For context: we had only seen each other once during those weeks because of conflicting schedules and work. We don’t live together.

I feel betrayed. I thought of so many little things to change (given the vague description she gave earlier), but she didn’t give me a real chance. Now we’ve agreed to take space and think about whether we want this or not.

I love her with all my heart. But she didn’t even give me the chance to change something I didn’t know was wrong. (She really hid it well — I promise.) I showed her how intensely committed I was to fixing it.

I don’t know whether to get back together if she decides she wants to. I want to. I already chose to do anything for her a long time ago. I don’t mind working on myself or the relationship — no matter how hard.

But she showed me this is how she handles situations like this. And while I understand why she didn’t tell me sooner… still. Was breaking up really the only option?

I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I love her so, so much. What do I do?