This happened quite a while ago now, during our family trip to the UK. My(18) parents were at a business meeting when my grandpa said he secretly bought tickets for us to go watch football. He’s been an Arsenal fan for a long while now but had never been to a match in person before. My mom didn’t want him to since she was worried about hooliganism, saying he’s in no shape to defend himself from someone young.
I read that it’s greatly declined and also figured no one would try to pick a fight with a quiet, reserved 76 yr old anyway. So I went with him. And nothing bad happened.
When we got back to the hotel, Mom was really upset and said I was reckless and that he could have gotten hurt(he was wearing an official cap with the logo on, showing the team he supports).
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This happened during our family trip to the UK. My(17) parents were at a business meeting when my grandpa said he bought tickets for us to go watch football. He’s been an Arsenal fan for a long while now but had never been to a match in person before. My mom didn’t want him to since she was worried about hooliganism.
I read that it’s greatly declined and also figured no one would try to pick a fight with a quiet, reserved 76 yr old anyway. So I went with him. And nothing bad happened.
When we got back to the hotel, Mom was really upset and said I was reckless and that he could have gotten hurt(he was wearing an official cap with the logo on, showing the team he supports).
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole since he could have potentially gotten hurt, so maybe I was reckless.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA grandpa is his own man. He can make his own choices to go or not go
NTA. He’s also an adult and he wanted to watch football. That’s reasonable to me. And you were there, and nothing happened. Your mum is just going to have to get over it.
LOL! She’s off her head. It’s not like he was walking down a street in Oakland or St Louis. Nothing is going to happen. That’s just American news telling you what to be scared of.
NTA. Your grandpa is a grown adult and can make his own decisions.
nta grandpa is an adult and have your help to go there
NTA. And ffs, your mom needs to stop being so controlling. He didn’t get to the wise age of 76 by being reckless. Let him live.
As you said – he’s 76 and never been to a live match. May he live to be 100! Even if he does, that’s less than 24 years…he’s got to fit all that he can into whatever time he has left.
And think of the joy you added to his life! This will be a memory he will cherish with you the rest of his life.
NTA. dont see the problem with him going its a football game hes not getting hurt. unless he has actual health problems hes fine.
Hooliganism is non existent in the Premier League. Your mum probably saw some of the horrendous incidents from the 1980s but a lot has changed in 40 years. You’re NTA and even if it was still dangerous (even during peak hooliganism years you generally had to seek trouble to end up involved in it), your granddad can make his own decisions
NTA. Danger is everywhere but it’s not likely a quiet grandpa is getting jumped unless he’s mouthing off in which case his odds of getting jumped go up everywhere.
Plus I’m sure it’s one of his favourite memories of the trip and that’s worth a lot for the both of you to share.
NTA. Let grandpa go to the footy!
NTA does you mum think the elderly locals get beaten up everyday???
Also blaming you for an another adult’s own decisions is bordering on the line of emotional abuse. if she has a problem she should argue with your grandfather, not you. She sounds very infantalising.
The alternative scenario where you listened to your mother and prevented your grandfather from going to a football match would be infantalising and also bordering on abuse towards him, btw. He has capacity to make his own decisions from the sound of it so it’s not on you, or your mum, to decide whether he goes to a footy match or not.
INFO: Did Arsenal win the match? Yes, NTA. No, YTA.
When Im 76 and want to do something, with
my adult granddaughter I sure as H don’t need permission
NTA, and good on you for going with your grandpa and him for taking you.
He would probably rather die at the hands of hooigans doing something so fun, than just be bored to death in a chair at home under the control of your mom. Absolutely NTA
Let gramps live! You both clearly made it home safely
NTA. You got a memory for life and you made grampa super happy going with him.
Huge wins.
NAH
Grampa wanted to take is kid to a game, and an overprotective mom.
NTA u being gas lit by some controlling family lol
NTA—unless grandpa has some cognitive decline (which doesn’t seem to be the case) there’s no reason to be stopping him from doing something he wants to do, especially when it’s something totally normal, like going to a sporting event.
NTA, I wouldn’t sleep if I missed something like that with my grandpa. Do it again
NTA. Your mother is apparently a worrying type like many daughters of older parents are, but unless your grandfather was an instigating type, it was unlikely he (or you) would make the two of you targets. Most folks get to go and enjoy a match and never encounter any trouble.
You made a memory with your grandad and he had a blast with his grandchild, so you did the right thing by the person who wanted an experience. Good for you. I hope if I ever get blessed with grandchildren that they would do something similar for me.
NTA. He’s a grown man. And at his age, he should be doing all the things that bring him happiness! Your mom is seriously overreacting.
NTA. Good grief – it’s not the 1980s. You are perfectly safe from hooliganism at Arsenal (or pretty much anywhere else these days). I think it’s great that he went – bet he loved it.
A 76-year-old man can do anything he wants to do, and you and your mom can’t stop him. Stop trying to prevent him from living his life.
And it’s not like he is 96. My parents, in their mid-70s, just got back from several weeks in Europe.
ETA: Your grandpa needs to tell his daughter to back off and remember that he is the parent here.
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in.
You are the greatest grandson, that your grandfather could ever have.
NTA, does your grandpa drive, get in a car, walk along the street, exist at all? Living comes with risks no matter WHAT you do! Your mum needs to chill the eff out! Let the man live his life, he only gets one!
Well, I guess she shouldn’t be letting him eating food unless it puréed. He was 76 and could have choked on it if he was talking with his mouth full.
If he was in the right mind that he was the one who purchased the tickets. Who was she to say he wasn’t to go. And you were irresponsible by letting him. What were you supposed to do, ground him. She should have appreciated that he wanted you to go with him. At least you were there if anything did go wrong. I know football fans as insanely dedicated to their team. But how often have you heard of fans beating up an old man. Either team usually would have encouraged him to cheer along and had fun with him.
How were all the fans with him?
NTA. You’re not your grandfather’s jailer. Hope you both had a great time.
NTA
Mom is treating her father like he’s incapable of making decisions for himself and nothing happened so she needs to leave off and review her assumptions and attitudes
NTA
She’s not HIS mother and you aren’t his parent either.
Unless you went in a time machine he’ll be ok
NTA it was one match, also its not like the guy was alone, you were there too.
Old people want to have fun too!
NTA however she’s reacting off of her feelings of what could’ve happened, so she’s NTA either.
Nta. Man. I find it really, really sad your grandpa felt he had buy these tickets in secret and sneak off to see his favorite team play. If your mom didn’t have a giant stick up her ass, it could have been a really cool outing for the family to get some culture and see grandpa’s favorite team play.