So I 25 female and my husband 39 male are having a baby that wasn’t planned, I had an ultrasound when I was 14 weeks along and told my husband over the phone how far along I was and he got quiet which was odd because he never stops talking, I asked what was going on and he said something isn’t adding up I got confused and asked him what wasn’t adding up and he said the time you got pregnant. I asked what he meant and he said we didn’t do it at that time, and he doubled down on this then said i gotta go i need to figurethis out, I instantly thought that he was accusing me of cheating on him without actually saying i cheated on him, and started to cry in walmart while with my other 2 kids. So when he got home I told him I didn’t want him he broke my heart and my trust in him. I have never cheated on him we’ve been together for 3 years he adopted my 5 year old daughter and we have a 8 month old baby together so this makes 3. So AITA for telling him he broke my heart and my trust in him?
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So I 25 female and my husband 39 male are having a baby that wasn’t planned, I had an ultrasound when I was 14 weeks along and told my husband over the phone how far along I was and he got quiet which was odd because he never stops talking, I asked what was going on and he said something isn’t adding up I got confused and asked him what wasn’t adding up and he said the time you got pregnant. I asked what he meant and he said we didn’t do it at that time, and he doubled down on this then said i gotta go i need to figurethis out, I instantly thought that he was accusing me of cheating on him without actually saying i cheated on him, and started to cry in walmart while with my other 2 kids. So when he got home I told him I didn’t want him he broke my heart and my trust in him. I have never cheated on him we’ve been together for 3 years he adopted my 5 year old daughter and we have a 8 month old baby together so this makes 3. So AITA for telling him he broke my heart and my trust in him?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told him he broke my heart and trust and he said i was being emotional and reading into things because he never said that I cheated on him
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. He did. Hope you can work it out though. Good luck.
NTA because your feelings are valid. I suggest the two of you talk with a therapist/counselor…don’t try to work this out on your own.
You were absolutely right to unload on him. NTA.
Not the asshole. I I know it’s previously been mentioned, but I would talk to a counselor or therapist together to try to figure out what’s going on. I also agree with someone who commented previously I I agree it’s not something I think you could figure out your own
So y’all did not have sex around when the baby was conceived and you are gaslighting him by turning the tables and trying to be the one upset about it?
NTA. He deserved that. Give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he just flipped out, guys do that. I hope you can work it out and as someone else also suggested, a counselor may be helpful.
NTA why is it always the 40 year old dudes that need to be constantly coddled by their 15 year younger partners
Damn, he is old. But also, if you are pregnant, remember that the hormones are doing a lot with you. Try and stay calm. Take some time and space for yourself and then talk about it again. Ideally he’ll understand he was a dick, and you’ll understand that him being a dick feels much worse when you’re a cocktail of hormones after just having a baby and pregnant with another!
Can’t say wta is as I can’t know what is true and what isn’t.
NTA. He’s too old to act like that. Unless you just haven’t had sex with him at all since before you got pregnant?? Like, he knows that it’s approximate, right?
NTA. OP, the healthcare industry does not count your time pregnant from the day you have sex. They count it from the last time you had your period. That frequently adds weeks onto the age. It’s kind of stupid because they consider you pregnant before you’re actually pregnant.
NTA. He was accusing you of cheating and showed a lack of trust in you. That was probably the least AH thing you could have done.
NTA
That depends – Did you and your husband have sex around 13-15 weeks ago?
Verdict: NAH
You’re not an asshole for telling him he broke your heart—your feelings were real and deeply hurt, especially since you felt unfairly accused of something as serious as cheating. It makes sense that his reaction would shake your trust, especially given your history together and the family you’ve built.
At the same time, your husband’s reaction seems more like a panicked emotional response than a calculated accusation. Surprise pregnancies can stir up a lot of feelings, and sometimes fear or confusion can come out in clumsy or hurtful ways. His comment about the timing might have come from genuine confusion rather than mistrust—but the way he handled it clearly caused harm.
You might ask yourself: Was he reacting from fear or from judgment? And can we talk openly about what trust and support look like for both of us during a time like this?
This sounds like a painful miscommunication rather than a betrayal. If he’s willing to own the impact of his words and you’re both open to talking it through, this could be a turning point rather than a breaking one. Hope you’re able to find some peace and clarity.
Yta you got caught. Looks like someone will have a full sibling
INFO Why did he react in that way?
You just tell him over the phone and he had no idea. Sorry but you are the Ah.
NTA. You’re husband is too old to be acting like this. Also, even if you guys weren’t intimate 14 weeks ago, that doesn’t mean he isn’t the father. This is easily explainable. Gestational age is calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period, not from the date of conception. You are considered 14 weeks pregnant because you last menstruated 14 weeks ago, but that doesn’t mean the baby was conceived 14 weeks ago. Most women don’t ovulate until 2 weeks after they menstruate. So that means, those first 2 weeks, you’re not actually pregnant. E.g if you’re “6” weeks pregnant, you’ve technically only been pregnant for 4 weeks. I hope that makes sense, and helps explain things for him. But still, he should have tried to be more understanding and tried to reason through this, rather than jump straight to accusing you of cheating.
I couldn’t get past the age difference.
You’re NTA but as a dude, you have to understand how dumb we can be about this stuff. Hopefully you can explain it to him and he’ll understand. If not the dr will and he will feel stupid
NTA, that doubt would crush anyone, you had every right to say that.
He probably was in shock bc he didn’t expect another baby so soon. Unplanned pregnancies do that.
You not an ass and he probably is
But why is he thinking that ? Have you asked him ? Instead of telling him how upset you are try figuring out what is going on because you both seem hurt
So I received 20m but I only netted 4.4 million after taxes and I have to pay another 1.3 million in taxes.. NO THANKS…I’ll stay broke