Wife and I have dated for a long time before getting married. <10yrs. I just found out this friend had a Snapchat and while finding the username to send a friend request saw that there were saved NSFW pictures of my wife in the chat. I did go and double check this to make sure before confronting her about this. We went through a brief period of being in an open relationship but ended this about a year ago. These are recent, within the last month. Are there any suggestions on the best way to bring this up to question her as to what is going on?
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I don’t think there’s any answer she can give that will justify sending those pics. You have the evidence already. Talk to a lawyer.
confront her don’t prolong it
Unfortunately, you invited this by opening up your marriage… now with that being said, If you were able to open up a marriage I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to open up a friendly conversation with her and ask her an explanation but be ready to find out things that would make you feel uncomfortable.
Plain and simple and straightforward.
I think you need to accept that this is a betrayal of trust and is the same as cheating in terms of the damage it does to the relationship. There’s no excusing what she’s done and nothing she says should make you believe you can trust her because she didn’t tell you that it happened immediately instead you had to find out showing she wasn’t planning on owning up to it. She can say anything she likes to you just remember that this counts as cheating and she’s only upset she got caught not because she actually regrets it.
I think you need to try and accept that you can’t keep a relationship with someone who you can’t trust and you shouldn’t think you can trust her again and you deserve to be with someone who you trust to be faithful and not always worry about where they are or who they’re talking to.
I’m sorry this happened but try to remind yourself that nothing excuses cheating and it’s not something you should take any blame for, if she was having issues with the relationship she should have spoken to you about it like an adult and this is the cowards way of dealing with problems you deserve so much better and you’ll be happier in the long run without her because you shouldn’t stay with someone who is going to be unfaithful and not even feel bad enough to tell you about it instead she just is happy to do behind your back. You shouldn’t think you are at all to blame because if she was struggling with the marriage she should have spoken to you about it and you could have worked together. You did nothing wrong by thinking you could trust your wife and you shouldn’t think you can’t trust someone else in the future because you can, the vast majority of people aren’t so selfish as to treat someone who trusts them like this and you absolutely deserve better
You know it was not only pictures they exchanged, right? Especially reading some of your comments, your wife is only about her fun and has no respect for you.
This will not stop, regardless of how you are going to ask “what is going on’, she will gaslight you and keep having sex with other dudes.
Once you open a marriage, it can never really be closed again. That foundation of fidelity cannot be reset. I’ve never understood why risk a marriage with an open marriage. While it can obviously work for some, and looks great in paper the success rate is so low, why risk what you have? From reading this, I think your marriage is probably over, and was the day you opened it.
Your marriage is still open. You just didn’t know it.
You simply didn’t understand your wife properly. The marriage was only re-sealed for you a year ago because you seriously wanted to start something with another woman. I don’t think you need to ask whether your wife was able to take advantage of the open relationship for herself, but rather to what extent.
The worst ideea of all time in a relationship is : open relationship or even considering it, even if you guys think it’s actually working for you two – things usually fall apart most of the times
. If one of the partners suggests or wants this – it’s a clear sign of unfulfilled fantasies or wanting to try out different things with different people, a sign that your sex life became boring and not good enough. This may seem ok at first but I think we all know that women usually have the most options and shortly you as a man will start regretting it but by that time the bad was done and there’s no coming back.
Well, it doesn’t take a therapist or a medium to figure out who brought the idea to open the marriage. Same person who just as unilaterally decided to close it once you found someone. You don’t really make any decisions in life, do you? She’s just running the show, and you do the “yes dear” thing.
It’s sad, man. Really breaks my heart how low a modern male has fallen.
Why am you asking us how to bring it up? She’s being shady, you have proof so just bloody confront her. Don’t be a pushover