I 15 m have been dating my boyfriend 16m for 2 months now. He tried self harm multiple times and also suicide twices. He has never been really loved by anyone and I was his first relationship but I just lost feeling a few days ago. Im scared He is gonna kill himself if I break up with him and I don wanna get blamed or live with the guilt. What do I do
I wanna break up with my boyfriend but Im scared hes gonna kill himself
r/Advice
Comments
You’ve got to find some way to end the relationship, but dont just forget about this guy and block him on everything. Stay his friend and assure him he isn’t alone. Truly a shitty situation, but don’t chain yourself to someone you don’t feel anything for. If the worst happens, I’m sure you’d feel terrible, and you’d likely seem like the bad guy, but forcing yourself to stay with someone isn’t the right thing to do either.
Ok… this is going to sound really cold so I can only apologise in advance. But here goes…
He probably won’t – I’ve heard a good few dramatic threats of suicide levelled at partners that are wanting to leave, odds on its manipulation and he’ll actually be just fine. But if he does… it’s not really because of you.
That to say – if someone follows through on killing themselves following a break up, there’s more going on. You are 15, it is way to much to put on yourself to hold yourself responsible for keeping someone alive, and regardless what he says – if he is suicidal it is not solely because of the break up of a 2 month relationship when he is 16.
Honestly, it sounds like you should get out of the relationship for your own mental health. Your wellbeing is important too.
You remember that you are merely human, and you are not powerful enough to make anyone do anything. Let alone at 15, when you haven’t even started figuring yourself out, there’s no possible way you’d ever figure someone else out in time to save them from themselves.
We are on this journey together, but all we can do is witness. If you’ve done all you can, and the worst still comes to pass, that does not push the worst on to you. You are not the creator and destroyer of life. That’s not your job. Your job is to be there to see whatever happens. Be kind to yourself.
i’ve been there.
first of all, if he really commits suicide, it’s not your fault, and there’s no need to feel guilty about it. but of course, you’re right to feel sad or anything else because of it.
i know you probably wish him the best and want him to move on with his life, even if it means letting him go. the thing is, you’re feeling trapped in that relationship. sometimes it’s not about being selfish, it’s about setting yourself free from where you don’t want to be and causing the least possible damage.
if you’re truly concerned that he might actually kill himself, first warn his closest social circle. once they understand what’s going on, you can break up. that will bring you relief, because it won’t be only on you anymore.
no matter what happens, don’t let yourself be manipulated. if you made a decision, stand firm with it and try not to hurt anyone too much. but again, it’s not your fault.
You’re only 15. Tell his parents and get the hell out of there.
You can’t let this guy hold you hostage. Inform his parents about your concerns and then break up with him. Let him know that you will notify authorities if he makes any suicide threats. He will then get a welfare check and could be held for observation, if he’s deemed a threat to himself or others. He needs to understand there are serious consequences for making such threats.
Talk to a trusted teacher/adult/ etc. your boyfriend needs help and you are too young and not a professional to cope with the extent of it.
If he threatens or talks suicide, call emergency service. Even if he doesn’t want to, it is the biggest favour you can do him.
Even if he was to do it, it’s not your problem. That’s his own choice if he decided to do that.
Involve adults, u guys are too young for this shit