People seem to notice and analyze every single thing that I do. If I eat chili with a fork, they notice and question why I wasn’t using a spoon. If I wear a watch one day but not the next, I’m questioned. It’s not stuff that really means anything in the grand scheme of things, but it’s annoying to constantly feel on the defense. Especially because I don’t particularly care about anyone else’s inconsequential idiosyncrasies. If you brush your teeth before you eat breakfast, good for you! I don’t feel the least bit compelled to investigate further or change that about you, even though it’s not what I do.
It even extends to my personal preferences. Why am I eating a microwave meal? Why don’t I like this very popular music artist? Why don’t I join this rec basketball league?
It makes me feel depressed because I know that no matter what choice I make, someone will come after me. I’m not even asking for praise or positivity. I just wish I could be treated like a normal person.
What is it about me that is causing people to constantly question everything I do and how do I make it stop?
Comments
It sounds like you’re having a problem being noticed and it may be coming from a place of general curiosity or sparking a conversation. I could see how it would be frustrating and annoying. Humans are curious creatures, we demand justification if we don’t understand situations or why a person isn’t following conventional norms such as being interested in specific things. Arm yourself with phrases like “idk, I didn’t feel like it” or “it’s not for me” or “doesn’t interest me” or “I forgot”. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Keep it simple and clear.
I think the word “why” has the connotation of judgement so I understand why (lol) you might feel people are judging you. Unfortunately, there’s no way to stop people from doing so as it’s a natural, evolutionary trait to judge and assess a situation.
It could be that people want to get to know you better, but aren’t the most adept conversationally. Why might be the best question they know, rather than “What do you like about that watch?” Or “How do you successfully eat chili with a fork? Impressive!”
You’re not alone in not wanting to be judged, my friend, but the only way to, in my experience , is to choose the positive understanding of their curiosity (because it is a choice). I hope this helps & good luck 🍀
This isn’t harmless curiosity, it’s death by a thousand tiny questions. Shut it down with calm defiance or call it what it is people projecting their discomfort onto your freedom.
Other people’s actions are not always a response to a personal flaw you possess. I might suggest that in this situation these responses are entirely independent of you, because as you said, these day-to-day changes are fairly innocuous and hold little value. Meaning that what this person does is not your fault.
I know this sounds odd, but some of these questions sound like “get to know you” or “icebreaker” questions to me. I think that many people start conversations with a lightly antagonistic or spirited/opinionated question to cause further discussion. This person/people are most definitely grasping at straws if that is the case, but they may very well just be desperate to interact with someone.
All this considered, you stated that “People” do this to you. If it is an isolated or particular group, then I would recommend expressing how this makes you uncomfortable (if safe to do so) and tell them why it bothers you. Or if in a professional setting, you may be able to go to HR because all of these comments put together sound like someone harassing/potentially bullying you.
If it is a large group of random people, and it is more of a general trend you have noticed then security within yourself is a sure-fire way to be less bothered in life. There is no way to stop random people from being rude/intrusive unfortunately. However, finding a safe community where you do not feel constantly attacked and holding personal confidence in yourself will fortify you against nearly anyone.
your picking up on it and lingering on it you have to learn to not care about interactions with people and care about the ones that have meaning I recommend practising some introspection ask them why they noticed your not wearing a watch today or why how you eat has any implication to them