I (45F) and my ex-wife (33F) have been broken up for a year, divorced for about 5ish months. We were together for 10 years. She got pregnant while we were together and we welcomed our son who is soon to be 3. I raised that boy for the first 2.5 years of his life as my ex had a more demanding job and I was able to stay at home and take care of things more with my schedule.
Long story short, our son is not biologically mine and she has been keeping him from me for the past 2 months because I had a schedule change with work and it no longer suits her so I’m no longer allowed to see my son. I’ve tried emailing, calling, texting. You name it, I’ve tried it. She now has me blocked on everything and continues to pretend I don’t exist. I have gotten word from some people who are close to her that she is hardly home between work and her new girlfriend. So there are other people essentially raising this boy but again refuses to let me do or help with anything. Bio dad is mildly involved but only sees him once or twice a week.
I feel like I’ve hit a massive road block and don’t know what to do, really need some advice. Should I keep fighting for this or throw in the towel? I’m not sure how far I would be able to get legally as the child is not biologically mine and she coerced me into telling the court there were no children involved during the divorce process. She is narcissistic and constantly trying to control the narrative. I live alone so money is pretty tight so can’t really afford a lawyer at the moment.
Location: Michigan
Comments
You say you are not his biological father. Are you his legal father? Are you on the birth certificate, did you adopt him, has a court ever agreed you’re his legal father?
What custody/visitation were you granted in the divorce?
NAL.
Search legal services, but this will be hard from the sounds of it. This wasn’t a sperm donor situation, the child has 2 legal parents already if I’m not mistaken. In some state you are legally nothing to the child, in others you may be considered to be in the child’s best interest, but I’m not even certain of that.
This will be an uphill legal battle and your best bet may be to literally try to bleed her in legal fees till she relents (if you have the means) because the amount of legal standing for you is minimal.
>the child is not biologically mine
Michigan, like most places, has a “presumption of paternity” for children who are born to married couples. It doesn’t matter who the biological father is.
You are the child’s legal father. You can and should file in court for shared custody.
You should also be aware that you will be on the hook for child support if she decides to file for it.