Update #1: My worst nightmare

So before I get to the update I need to clear somethings out from my original post. Someone ask how for 7yrs I didn’t notice.. they never seem off around me. Like I say he never changed. He is a great father to our son and a great provider. His affection, words and the way he treated me didn’t changed. He remain consistent with everything and we was always on the phone during our breaks from work. When he is home he is present and when we all were together he couldn’t keep his hands of me. So like I told both of them they are great actors and deserve each other.

Now to the update: I confronted him when he got home. He admits everything. Yes they have been ” sleeping with each other for 7yrs”. The worst is that most of their encounter have been in the home we shared. He did answer all the questions I asked and this f***er have the audacity to tell me that it was just sex with her and that he loves me and wants to make it work. He is talking about he is willing to do whatever to gain my trust and he believe that we can make it work.

I lost it. I did told him I want a divorce. Cheating is one thing (no i am not condoning cheating). But the disrespect is at another level. The thing is I am more mad at myself. After reading some of the comments on my original post, it’s clear to me that the signs was all in front of me but I loved him too much to noticed.

Trust- these two use my kindness for weaknesses. Now looking back the way she look at him. The way she will tell him that she loves him.. All was there and I missed them all just because I thought “not those two”. They both knows about my past trauma and past relationships. In the very beginning I told him that if he found someone else just leave me be.. I would of have respected him if he just flat out told me that he is living me for her. But having sex with her then with me.. I will never forgive him for that one. I plan to call a lawyer in about an hour.

Yes I did told Megan last night and she went over her apartment and things didn’t go well. Let’s just say Ella ended up in the hospital. I did scold Megan and told her that Ella is not worth going to jail for. Megan keep apologizing and telling me that she no longer have a sister. I told her that it’s her sister and I didn’t want her to choose between Ella and me. I just wanted to let her know so that she doesn’t questions why we not having holiday parties anymore and why I am not going to Jamaica in November because she was part of the girl trip.But Megan said if Ella can do that to me after what I’ve done for her than she is dead to her.

I will take some of you guys advice and enroll in therapy. I do have great support but I’m not ready to tell them yet. I plan to shield my son as much as possible but I can already tell that his is going to make coparenting really hard because this man actually think that I will forgive him and continue to be a happy family.

For now I’m just going to take things one day at a time like some of you suggested. I will remind myself daily that their actions and blaunt disrespect have nothing to do with me. I hope one day I can look back on the last 10hrs and say wow.. You went through hell and back and came back 10 time stronger.