So I met this girl at work. We were texting regularly and she made it seem like I was this awesome guy. One day she just stops replying. A couple of days later she says her phone was broken from her dog and she just got it repaired. She texted one other time then went completely silent. I sent 1 maybe 2 te to a day. One saying good morning have a nice day, and another at the end of the day saying hope we can talk soon. I thought maybe something happened to her phone again since I heard nothing for 3 days. I sent a message just in case saying hey I’ll stop by your work today at lunch just to see what’s going on. I get a text back saying Im waaaay too clingy and she just can’t do it. So i guess my question is, was I being too clingy or what?
What the hell happened?
r/Advice
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u were being kind, not clingy. She just wasn’t upfront her loss, not yours.
Yeah, unfortunately that came across as clingy. Even with the best intentions, daily check-ins, especially without much response, can feel overwhelming to someone who’s pulling back. If someone stops replying, the healthiest move is usually to give space and let them reach out if they’re interested. It sucks when the signals are mixed, but her silence spoke louder than the compliments. Live, learn, and try not to take it personally—ghosting or soft ghosting happens way more than it should.
You’ve done nothing wrong. Be your consistent self and don’t change.
She’s odd.
Yeah bro, showing up at her job was the final boss of clingy. The good morning texts were already pushing it. Gotta let people breathe or they ghost.
Dating someone at work can be a problematic. She perceived it as too intrusive. Even objectively it wasn’t
Yeah you came on too strong and showing up at her work was the final nail in the coffin. When someone pulls away chasing harder doesn’t win them back it just confirms their reason to leave.
She’s not interested. That’s it. Doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Feel your disappointment but waste no more time on this person or in second guessing yourself. The sooner you move in the sooner you find someone that is interested. Focus your attention on meeting more people not on someone that isn’t interested. Ruminating on why, there’s no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.
“We were texting regularly and she made it seem like I was this awesome guy.”
I’m wondering how it was that she “made it seem” like you were any particular sort of way.
Keep in mind that I am not saying that you are not an “awesome guy.”
Rather, it sounds like she was able to somehow manipulate your perceptions into leading you to think that you could possibly know what she was thinking about you.
Otherwise, texting is a notoriously unreliable way of knowing anything about another person.
good morning/night texts and have a nice days are too clingy for me. Stopping by someone’s job is even way more clingy. Some people enjoy that, some don’t. Just move on to the next person whom you’re more compatible with
Yeah you were being clingy. Match the energy they give you. If they pull back, let it happen and let them reach out to you if they want. If they dont, then let it be.
Do not shit where you eat.
Yeah it sounded like you came on too strong and she distanced herself and you didn’t take the hint. Especially saying you were going to show up at her work. You should learn early on theres this saying called “if they wanted to they would” Meaning, if they actually wanted to put in the effort to talk to you, etc, they would. If they aren’t, they don’t want to.
You will encounter this a lot in your life, just FYI. But learn it as a lesson. Next time you meet someone you like try not to smother them.
Lots of people are desperate for attention. They want to hook you then ghost you. It has nothing to do with you.
You lack self awareness.
Then you didn’t get the hint.
Finally you’re told that you’re too clingy, and yet you’re still ignoring the message by acting confused.
Do you need her to slap you with a restraining order before you back the eff off?
Every man should know never to send a woman you’re interested in a good morning text or showing up. it is clingy…I mean texting about showing up…dude please. Women can sense if you come at them from a scarcity or abundance mindset ( women want to be with a man that has options not someone who doesn’t) and your whole vibe feels like scarcity to me. Next opportunity you have with a woman please act as if you don’t really care about her and let her want you, she wanted to have fun and thought you’d be a good candidate, she definitely wasn’t looking for an emotional sponge no woman ever does.What I want you to understand is that if the girl doesn’t text don’t dwell on it, just move on to the next one or whatever you’ve got going in your life ( for you fake it till you make it)…trust me when a woman sees that she’ll reach out.you’ll thank me later. Remember ABUNDANCE MINDSET . Finally as texting goes with the next girl instead of a meaningless clingy text just send one like this after some time has passed: hey what’s up going to (insert whatever cool activity) with some friends, even naughty girls deserve to have fun sometime, so you’re welcome to join. Enjoy your day.
I think so, and too early for it.
Hey man, first—don’t let this experience make you question your worth. You were an awesome guy before she texted you, and you still are now. It’s totally natural to feel excited when someone shows interest, but yeah, sometimes we can overinvest too quickly because we really want it to work out.
Here’s the thing: when someone pulls back like that, especially after an excuse like the phone being broken, it usually means something shifted for them. It doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong—it might just not have been the right time, or she realized she wasn’t ready or didn’t feel the same. That sucks, but it happens, and it’s more about her than you.
When someone stops replying, the best move is to give them space. One message? Totally fine. But if they stay silent, it’s often best to step back. Not because you’re clingy—but because it gives them the room to decide how they feel without pressure. Reaching out once after a few weeks just to check in? Reasonable. Multiple messages daily plus offering to stop by her job? That’s where it might start to feel overwhelming from her side.
You meant well. You cared, and you tried. But now it’s time to protect your peace. If someone doesn’t show the same effort, let it go. The right person will make things feel mutual and easy—not confusing or hurtful. If you feel hurt, find peace. It happens to basically everyone and it’s a growth experience.
You must have given her the ICK. She’s not for you. Move on to someone who appreciates you.
Just take it on the chin and learn from it. No biggy. 😊
No she is interested or seeing someone else. She cant be honest. So instead she said you were clingy. Happens all the time.
She met another guy…
Stopping by a workplace if you think someone’s gone quiet is an absolute route to doom unfortunately.