Okay so here’s the thing, I have this cousin who is a few years older than me. She came abroad and started living with me and my parents, studying for a course. The reason she started living with us was because her school was close to our house and at first I didn’t want this because we never really got along, but my parents let me know that I didn’t really have a choice in this matter.
Anyways, As she started living with us I noticed her lifestyle was very different from mine. I would be working back to back shifts while she would be partying or resting in our guest room on her phone all day. I would come home from work at 9 PM and start cooking for myself (to save money) and she would ask me if she could have some of my dinner. And I know, I might sound selfish for saying this, but it bothered me so much. I would think, you were home all day and you didn’t even get up to make yourself dinner?
I started wondering though how she could keep up her lifestyle, with student loans, and how lavish she was living. I mean she would go to expensive restaurants right across the street from my work and brag about it to me many many times, at least 3 or 4 times in a week. When they were restaurants I had never even been to because I could not afford to.
One day, I found out through a family member that it had been my grandparents giving her money this entire time.
Why you ask? Because she had been telling them that she had no money, and that she was “starving”, or needed money for “school” or “basic expenses” Basically she had been lying this entire time. And it bothered me so much because here are my grandparents, who believing that she is asking this money out of actually need, are giving it to her, and she is just living this lavish lifestyle.
It bothered me so much, because I was there working, and I never asked helped from my grandparents because I knew they didn’t have much to give. One time my grandpa had this injury but did not have enough money to get this cream for it and it broke my heart. And so to know that she was doing this to them made me angry. So I secretly took screenshots of her instas when she went out to these dinners over a few months and finally showed it to my grandparents that she wasn’t “starving” like she said. Or the fact that she was constantly partying. To show them what their money was going to, as she had no job.
They ended up cutting off a lot of her money that they were sending her, and she made it this big deal. She called me fake and said that I betrayed her. I honestly don’t have any regrets but I am still wondering, AITA?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
Okay so here’s the thing, I have this cousin who is a few years older than me. She came abroad and started living with me and my parents, studying for a course. The reason she started living with us was because her school was close to our house and at first I didn’t want this because we never really got along, but my parents let me know that I didn’t really have a choice in this matter.
Anyways, As she started living with us I noticed her lifestyle was very different from mine. I would be working back to back shifts while she would be partying or resting in our guest room on her phone all day. I would come home from work at 9 PM and start cooking for myself (to save money) and she would ask me if she could have some of my dinner. And I know, I might sound selfish for saying this, but it bothered me so much. I would think, you were home all day and you didn’t even get up to make yourself dinner?
I started wondering though how she could keep up her lifestyle, with student loans, and how lavish she was living. I mean she would go to expensive restaurants right across the street from my work and brag about it to me many many times, at least 3 or 4 times in a week. When they were restaurants I had never even been to because I could not afford to.
One day, I found out through a family member that it had been my grandparents giving her money this entire time.
Why you ask? Because she had been telling them that she had no money, and that she was “starving”, or needed money for “school” or “basic expenses” Basically she had been lying this entire time. And it bothered me so much because here are my grandparents, who believing that she is asking this money out of actually need, are giving it to her, and she is just living this lavish lifestyle.
It bothered me so much, because I was there working, and I never asked helped from my grandparents because I knew they didn’t have much to give. One time my grandpa had this injury but did not have enough money to get this cream for it and it broke my heart. And so to know that she was doing this to them made me angry. So I secretly took screenshots of her instas when she went out to these dinners over a few months and finally showed it to my grandparents that she wasn’t “starving” like she said. Or the fact that she was constantly partying. To show them what their money was going to, as she had no job.
They ended up cutting off a lot of her money that they were sending her, and she made it this big deal. She called me fake and said that I betrayed her. I honestly don’t have any regrets but I am still wondering, AITA?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Sending my cousins insta stories to my grandparents (2) They ended up stopping a lot of the money that was being sent to her, and she called me fake for this.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA she just mad she got caught. She took advantage of your families goodwill and your grandparents aswell. She reaped what she sowed.
NTA, but your cousin sure is. She was taking advantage of your grandparents’ generosity, while you never did. They had the right to know what she was doing with the money that they were giving her. She FAFO.
NTA. And it really sucks you got put in that position.
She was taking advantage of your grandparents and you did them a favor by letting them know that was happening.
ESH. Your cousin shouldnt be taking advantage of elderly family members, but you sound like the worst sort of bitter self-righteous person, so its hard to root for either of you. Grow up, the both of you.
When I started reading this, I thought it was going to be that the cousin had an OnlyFans or a secret boyfriend, and I was all ready to say, “Just mind your own business”. But she’s basically committing elder abuse by scamming your grandparents out of their money. It’s good someone caught her before she did some real damage, like convincing them to take out a mortgage or sell heirlooms. NTA.
NTA. Ah, the irony of her calling you ‘fake.’
YTA – why is it your business? You only did this because you are comparing yourself to her. She chose to ask for support and you didn’t.
I’m someone who got everything on my own but I wou.dn’ think it’s my business to look at what others have and then be an ass about it.
If you also wanted help, ask.
It would be one thing if your grandparents had plenty to share but to go without medication because she was lying to them is awful. She has few morals and needs to get a job with all that free time she has. You didn’t have to do much digging to find out she’s lying. It’s ok that you told them. Wanting your grandparents to not be taken advantage of by a family member isn’t “self righteous,” it means you’re a good person
NTA- your grandparents can’t even afford basic medical treatment yet supplementing this lavish lifestyle for her? No, you are right.
NTA sounds like you did it for the right reason. So she didn’t continue to take advantage of your grandparents.
Nope – she is TA
NTA; you did the right thing. Although you were motivated by jealousy, you 100% did the right thing. she can’t be scamming your ailing grand parents like that.
NTA, like who hustles their own grandparents man??
NTA. You were in the right.
You are NTA for telling your grandparents that they are being scammed.
What your cousin did was essentially defrauding your grandparents, by deceiving them about the purpose of the money.