My (23F) boyfriend (26/M) never touches me, what can I do?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. During this time, he has sexually touched me twice. (Like fingering/going down on me, with the intent of giving me an orgasm). I, on the other hand, initiate contact very often, and I am also vocal about my desires towards him. I asked him why he doesn’t touch me and if there is something wrong with me, and the answer was: “It’s not you, it’s me. I have never rly been interested in that”. I’m left here really confused. It makes me feel like utter garbage and REALLY undesirable. One time I jokingly said that I have not had an orgasm (not counting solo) in over a year, and he was like “damn :D”
What can I do? Is there anything I can do about this, even? It makes me sad and depressed, because otherwise I am satisfied with the relationship. If you guys need more information or details pls let me know.
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Do you have sexual intercourse with him?
Yeesh, if you’re not trolling, break up and find someone whose capable and interested in being your partner
Why are you putting up with this behavior? What does he actually do for you?
Honestly, it just kind of sounds like he’s on the Asexual spectrum somewhere. I think the best thing would be to talk about that with him and find out how you guys can approach intimacy without it feeling weird for him and making sure you still feel loved and desired.
My gf is also ace and it’s just a conversation you have to have. Disinterest doesn’t mean he’s not open to sex at all, and also, it’s important to know that if he is simply not into it it’s not your fault. It’s just how he works.
Hii,
The best thing to do is usually to try and talk about it with him. But from what i read you already tried that?
If he brushes it off like it’s nothing than go harder and say it’s important to you, because that is another red flag if he invalidates your feelings.
I also didn’t catch if its like he doesn’t even want to have sex or its just he doesn’t like to eat you out and/or finger you. This is mostly because i belive its kinda not the same and some people just generaly don’t enjoy giving oral.
Hope that helps a little
He could be asexual, or he could be gay. In any case, you’re most likely not going to be able to change the way he expresses his sexuality without therapy and a lot of potentially uncomfortable conversations.
It sounds like he’s asexual/greysexual, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. It’s just how he’s wired. If sex in a relationship is important to you, then you’re going to need to break this off and look elsewhere.
Honey, you deserve better. Is there a medical reason going on? Is he depressed? Weird for a guy not wanting sex, to be touched and more. It’s part of a relationship. He needs help and you should move on.
Sounds like he’s asexual.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. You two aren’t compatible. Time to move on.
You need to work on your self esteem. You say you are satisfied with the relationship while ALSO saying you are sad and depressed and that his lack of interest makes you feel undesirable and like garbage. This is exactly the opposite of a good relationship.
Why are you dating someone who’s asexual? If your needs are not being met then it is time to end the relationship.
You are having bad sex. My partner has had more orgasms in 15 minutes that you’ve had in a year. You don’t need this.
He’s either asexual or gay and hasn’t come out. You’re not compatible, do with that as you please
At 26, I had no interest in girls. A dance partner wanted a kiss when I was 22. Shortly before I met my wife, I started feeling lonely in bed, but it never occurred to me to share the bed. People like me do exist, but this guy may not be the one for you. If you are willing to wait for another 10 years, he may come good as I did, but you seem now to be lacking what you need. I am not “average,” and you need to listen to the girls.
You guys are not sexually compatible, so if a sexual relationship is important to you (as it is to many people) then you might consider breaking it off
Does he accept oral from you? If yes he’s just selfish in bed. Doesn’t mean he is a bad person just yeah, selfish. 😀 If not he may just not like oral and it is what it is.
You surely know that in a relationship (almost) everything should be met with compromise, but limits are met at sexual preferences, you can’t just make someone do things they’re not comfortable with.
If he doesn’t like it, and doesn’t want to, what can you do? Accept it or decide your current sexual life isn’t enough and break up.
Gurllll…. Damn 😀
i would get a new boyfriend rather than stay with someone i have to constantly talk in to doing stuff
You two are not sexually compatible. This relationship will continue to confuse, frustrate and disappoint you. Knowing this, you must choose how to proceed.
i’m having the same problem. my bf wanted to grow closer to god and he said the only reason he had periods of high sec drive was when he was watching adult content on his own. so you either go find a partner that matches your urges and desires or you settle with your current partner and respect his ways. and i promise you it’s not that they are not attracted to you. i had the same worries and constant overthinking that made me spiral at times. he often would reassure me and say he does find me attractive. it’s just hard for us women to match words to actions we believe should be implemented if the man truly finds us attractive
Leave him and see if he comes back to you. if he comes bk you know you were might to be if he doesn’t at least you can find someone that gives you sex I know sounds harsh don’t want it to sound harsh that’s the best advice he might just need a kick up the ass to realise what he lossing