My boyfriend [29M] and I [36M] have been together for two years. I love him deeply and genuinely want our relationship to work, but I have reached a point where I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted. I asked for the summer to myself because I needed time to recharge and figure out what I am even doing.
Throughout our relationship, I have tried to be patient and supportive. I have brought up important issues like his avoidance of the dentist despite clear problems, his tendency to lie or hide things instead of being honest, and his overall lack of follow-through when things get difficult. He always listens in the moment but then avoids taking action. It feels like the conversations just disappear.
At some point I stopped feeling like a partner and started feeling like a parent. I carry all the emotional weight. I initiate every serious conversation. I keep us moving forward while he stays stuck in the same place. I have apologized when I have been too harsh or frustrated, but I do not know how to keep giving energy to someone who does not meet me halfway.
The hardest part is that I still care. I do not want to walk away from him. I just could not continue while completely neglecting myself in the process. I have never felt so tired inside a relationship before. That is why I asked for space. It was not an ultimatum. I just needed air.
Has anyone else come back from this? What helped? Is it even fair to hope someone will change after this long?
TLDR:
I [36M] love my boyfriend [29M] but feel completely burned out from doing all the emotional work. I asked for space this summer to take care of myself. I still want things to work but feel lost and exhausted. Is there a way forward or is this relationship no longer sustainable?