I’ve been told that I am extremely easy to talk to and open up to. This has led to many people over sharing with me and consequently feeling much closer to me than I feel to them. It has happened with some women, but it’s usually men opening up to me like this. Like I’ll be at a party and have a man tell me he’s emotionally closed off and then 3 hours later he’s spilling his guts to me, telling me his childhood trauma, how he never does this and he’s confused as to why he feels like he can spill his guts this way, and I’m equally confused (but trying to be supportive). I’ve had people tell me in texts they hate talking on the phone but they need someone to talk to so I call them and then we’re suddenly 5-6 hours into a phone call and they’ve given me extensive details on their entire life.
Does this happen to other people? Ngl this is just kind of the norm for me. Like casual acquaintances will dump their childhood trauma on me, and this isn’t a one off scenario. I ask here since I’ve heard women talk about how people tend to trauma dump on them more than I’ve heard men talk about it. Is it really just because I’m a woman? Do I just need to start acting like a cold bitch to make this stop? It’s uncomfortable holding onto all this trauma for people that I would consider casual acquaintances
Comments
Out of interest, why are you making yourself available for this? Initiating phone calls and staying on for 5-6 hours is pretty extreme behavior on your part. So is talking to the same guy at a party for 3 hours.
When people meet someone new they tend to go from topic to topic relatively quickly until they find something the other person shows interest in. In your conversations do you find that you ask a lot of questions once someone brings up a topic about their past, and/or do you tend to share a good amount of personal info about yourself fairly quickly?